Monday, May 30
More Miss Universe Madness!
With my Miss Universe post attractin so much publicity...i thought another one would be appropriate...besides...it's just a day to the Miss Universe finals...so ive been doin some 'research' on the beautiful...or not so beautiful...ladies...
Without further ado...
Miss Spain is all houte couture and radical lookin...someone please tell her that her hips are too wide...and she's spent too much time on Thigh Master...check out her abs...
Still...Spain is HOT! (8/10 Hot!)
This is Miss Ukraine...i dare not speak more for the FBI might arrest me for harborin pictures of underaged girls...
Has she graduated from Elementary School? (5/10 Average lookin and Child Pornography material!)
And Miss USA...omg someone please tell Bush that when one mentions USA...one thinks all-American BLONDES...not brunettes...
And she looks like a fawkin Kelly Clarkson twin! (6/10 Fat and average!)
Chinese have always had the short end of a stick...regular readers will know what im drivin at...the ghost of Premier Mao will laugh so hard at this Chinese chick...she has China Doll written all over her...and Lady in Red? Thank you for more Asian stereotypes you fuckin whites! How bout throwin in a dragon and phoenix while ya at it? Stupid gits...
I'll send her a mail indicatin big hair and cheesy poses are so 1980s...(1/10 She's Asian nuff said!)
Miss Indonesia hasnt mastered the art of picture-takin it appears...also...she hasnt come to grip with her looks...someone please tell her that it dont matter how she poses...she cant hide her flat features...and she has a duck mouth! Quack! NEXT!
Too Asian lookin...(4/10 Coz she's Asian!)
Miss Universe traditional giants Venezuela is out in full force again this year...i dont remember a pageant where the country had it this good...
OMFG fan me already! (8/10 Dark features and hot!)
This year's Miss UK is a dead ringer for Australia's pop princess Delta Goodrem with some blemishes...look closely and laugh at her pimples! ROFL...
Delta-lookalike and pimples? Not! (6/10 Unoriginal and poor sanitation!)
Miss Serbia & Montenegro and Miss Switzerland have mastered the art of P.R skills...air kisses and skimpy attire? Right up my alley me ladies!
Miss S&M (wow...what can i say?)...has two huge eyes...too big i'd daresay... (7/10 for representin a kinky sex country!) Miss Switzerland is my tip for Top 10...she's a cutie! (7.5/10 Cute! Bulge in my pants!)
Another favorite! Miss Belgium! She must love eatin her Blegium eclairs and chocolates...coz whatever she's eatin...i love it!
Verdict: (8/10 She's beautiful!)
My fascination with all things Croatia began with the soccer team's 3rd place finish in the European Championships 1996...how things havnt changed...Miss Croatia looks good sittin on the flight of stairs...i wonder how she'll look sittin on me...hmmm...
An Eastern European chick! Holy shit! (8/10 have i already mention Eastern European chick?)
Here're 3 reasons why Chinese and their sb-derivatives still cant win any pageant contests...
1) They're gooks
2) They get the short end of every fuckin stick
3) They use breast implants
Check out Miss Malaysia...are you thinkin tranny or whore? I know i am...Miss India is really cute...but there's somethin wrong with her face...i just cant put my finger on it...micheLe thinks it's her nose...very beaky lookin...
Miss Malaysia (1/10 Breast implants and Asian? Not!)
Miss India (7/10 Tweety Bird look? ROFL)
The pageant is shown live worldwide on Tuesday. Please check your local listings.
With my Miss Universe post attractin so much publicity...i thought another one would be appropriate...besides...it's just a day to the Miss Universe finals...so ive been doin some 'research' on the beautiful...or not so beautiful...ladies...
Without further ado...
Miss Spain is all houte couture and radical lookin...someone please tell her that her hips are too wide...and she's spent too much time on Thigh Master...check out her abs...
Still...Spain is HOT! (8/10 Hot!)
This is Miss Ukraine...i dare not speak more for the FBI might arrest me for harborin pictures of underaged girls...
Has she graduated from Elementary School? (5/10 Average lookin and Child Pornography material!)
And Miss USA...omg someone please tell Bush that when one mentions USA...one thinks all-American BLONDES...not brunettes...
And she looks like a fawkin Kelly Clarkson twin! (6/10 Fat and average!)
Chinese have always had the short end of a stick...regular readers will know what im drivin at...the ghost of Premier Mao will laugh so hard at this Chinese chick...she has China Doll written all over her...and Lady in Red? Thank you for more Asian stereotypes you fuckin whites! How bout throwin in a dragon and phoenix while ya at it? Stupid gits...
I'll send her a mail indicatin big hair and cheesy poses are so 1980s...(1/10 She's Asian nuff said!)
Miss Indonesia hasnt mastered the art of picture-takin it appears...also...she hasnt come to grip with her looks...someone please tell her that it dont matter how she poses...she cant hide her flat features...and she has a duck mouth! Quack! NEXT!
Too Asian lookin...(4/10 Coz she's Asian!)
Miss Universe traditional giants Venezuela is out in full force again this year...i dont remember a pageant where the country had it this good...
OMFG fan me already! (8/10 Dark features and hot!)
This year's Miss UK is a dead ringer for Australia's pop princess Delta Goodrem with some blemishes...look closely and laugh at her pimples! ROFL...
Delta-lookalike and pimples? Not! (6/10 Unoriginal and poor sanitation!)
Miss Serbia & Montenegro and Miss Switzerland have mastered the art of P.R skills...air kisses and skimpy attire? Right up my alley me ladies!
Miss S&M (wow...what can i say?)...has two huge eyes...too big i'd daresay... (7/10 for representin a kinky sex country!) Miss Switzerland is my tip for Top 10...she's a cutie! (7.5/10 Cute! Bulge in my pants!)
Another favorite! Miss Belgium! She must love eatin her Blegium eclairs and chocolates...coz whatever she's eatin...i love it!
Verdict: (8/10 She's beautiful!)
My fascination with all things Croatia began with the soccer team's 3rd place finish in the European Championships 1996...how things havnt changed...Miss Croatia looks good sittin on the flight of stairs...i wonder how she'll look sittin on me...hmmm...
An Eastern European chick! Holy shit! (8/10 have i already mention Eastern European chick?)
Here're 3 reasons why Chinese and their sb-derivatives still cant win any pageant contests...
1) They're gooks
2) They get the short end of every fuckin stick
3) They use breast implants
Check out Miss Malaysia...are you thinkin tranny or whore? I know i am...Miss India is really cute...but there's somethin wrong with her face...i just cant put my finger on it...micheLe thinks it's her nose...very beaky lookin...
Miss Malaysia (1/10 Breast implants and Asian? Not!)
Miss India (7/10 Tweety Bird look? ROFL)
The pageant is shown live worldwide on Tuesday. Please check your local listings.
Lindsay Is A Hoe
adrock2xander is 3 months 31 days without a cigarette.
Lindsay Lohan is quite a tramp these days...what with prancin around half naked with a cigarette in her mouth...let's face guys...all of you wana fuck her brains out before she's reduced to one of those 'XYZ is married again' stories...and nothin beats hard core porn more than a willin Hollywood B-List star who loves partin her legs for cameras...doesnt it just scream 'I AM A WHORE'?
I know i do...coz i have the serious jonesin for Lindsay for a long loooong time...
I just hope she shaves her pubes...i hate a forest in the valley...
adrock2xander is 3 months 31 days without a cigarette.
Lindsay Lohan is quite a tramp these days...what with prancin around half naked with a cigarette in her mouth...let's face guys...all of you wana fuck her brains out before she's reduced to one of those 'XYZ is married again' stories...and nothin beats hard core porn more than a willin Hollywood B-List star who loves partin her legs for cameras...doesnt it just scream 'I AM A WHORE'?
I know i do...coz i have the serious jonesin for Lindsay for a long loooong time...
I just hope she shaves her pubes...i hate a forest in the valley...
Friday, May 27
Miss Universe 2005
Seems like the Australian media isnt too hot with beauty pageants...with just a few days to go before the Miss Universe pageant...no. of Miss Universe news in Melbourne's The Age: zilch...
Since the Australian media has no intention of reportin it...i'll do them a favor and do some nosy research on my part...
Miss Australia Universe Michelle Guy is one of the favorites to win this year's pageant...what with Australia's Jennifer Hawkins winnin last year's event my crystal ball sees a disturbance in Michelle's force...all the pressure's on her...
But dude Jennifer...wtf are you on...Michelle's a fawkin Frenchie! And you know what they say bout Frenchies...Slap her she's French! (8/10 Cute!)
The controversial shoot in the temples last week...
Michelle and other models posin for the cameras and obligatory publicity...
Just in case anyone cares...here's the representative from my country Singapore...Cheryl Tay...
Fawk...ive seen beauties...and ive known beauties...and Cheryl's nowhere a beauty...she looks like she's been hit by a truck travellin at full speed...and the truck driver does a hit-and-run...Asia can always spare another slant eyed gook...(0/10 she's Singaporean nuff said)
And is she on a liquid diet? Cmon...get some meat already...we men like you all meaty...
Japan aint farin too good either...here's Yukari Kuzuya...
It must be the slant-eyes...or all the kinky fetish Jap porn they produce...but Japs fail to see Yukari's figure matches that of a plywood...fuckin straight and flat...yeah...just as flat as the airplane runway she has on her chest...(3/10 Tryin too hard!)
Ahh yes...a group shot...all the lurveee...
(From left to right) Natalia Nikolaeva, Miss Russia Universe 2005; Agnes Vuthaj, Miss Albania Universe 2005; Nadine Njeim, Miss Lebanon Universe 2005; Laura Elizondo, Miss Mexico Universe 2005, and Helene Traasavik, Miss Norway Universe 2005.
Miss Russia looks like a Mary Jane-and-a-half...oh boy she's cute alright! (8/10 cute!) Miss Albania wtf? She's from Eastern Europe! And Eastern European chicks are hawtttt...but this Albania crap is a waste of time...ive seen better ones on some poorly produced Eastern European porn...(5/10 Cheap imitation!)
Lebanon and Mexico? Hello there sunshines...North African and Latinos? Nuff said...(8/10 Hotties!)
And cmon...this year's Miss Norway looks nothin like last year's porn star...and arent Norwegians famous for their blondes? This one's not! (6/10 Fake Norwegian!)
Another group shot! This one's got the fake Norwegian in it though...but hey! There's Miss Australia! Go Aussie!
(From left to right) Sharita Sopacua, Miss Netherlands Universe 2005; Adele Basson, Miss Namibia Universe 2005; Helene Traasavik, Miss Norway Universe 2005, and Michelle Guy, Miss Australia Universe 2005.
Miss Netherlands looks kinda hot! (7/10 Fresh new look!)...and wtf Miss Namibia is a white? Im aware of British expats workin in Zimbabwe and Namibia...but wow! Looks like i should have gone to Africa for my degree! (7.5/10 Cute!)
More photos can be found on the Sydney Morning Herald.
Seems like the Australian media isnt too hot with beauty pageants...with just a few days to go before the Miss Universe pageant...no. of Miss Universe news in Melbourne's The Age: zilch...
Since the Australian media has no intention of reportin it...i'll do them a favor and do some nosy research on my part...
Miss Australia Universe Michelle Guy is one of the favorites to win this year's pageant...what with Australia's Jennifer Hawkins winnin last year's event my crystal ball sees a disturbance in Michelle's force...all the pressure's on her...
But dude Jennifer...wtf are you on...Michelle's a fawkin Frenchie! And you know what they say bout Frenchies...Slap her she's French! (8/10 Cute!)
The controversial shoot in the temples last week...
Michelle and other models posin for the cameras and obligatory publicity...
Just in case anyone cares...here's the representative from my country Singapore...Cheryl Tay...
Fawk...ive seen beauties...and ive known beauties...and Cheryl's nowhere a beauty...she looks like she's been hit by a truck travellin at full speed...and the truck driver does a hit-and-run...Asia can always spare another slant eyed gook...(0/10 she's Singaporean nuff said)
And is she on a liquid diet? Cmon...get some meat already...we men like you all meaty...
Japan aint farin too good either...here's Yukari Kuzuya...
It must be the slant-eyes...or all the kinky fetish Jap porn they produce...but Japs fail to see Yukari's figure matches that of a plywood...fuckin straight and flat...yeah...just as flat as the airplane runway she has on her chest...(3/10 Tryin too hard!)
Ahh yes...a group shot...all the lurveee...
(From left to right) Natalia Nikolaeva, Miss Russia Universe 2005; Agnes Vuthaj, Miss Albania Universe 2005; Nadine Njeim, Miss Lebanon Universe 2005; Laura Elizondo, Miss Mexico Universe 2005, and Helene Traasavik, Miss Norway Universe 2005.
Miss Russia looks like a Mary Jane-and-a-half...oh boy she's cute alright! (8/10 cute!) Miss Albania wtf? She's from Eastern Europe! And Eastern European chicks are hawtttt...but this Albania crap is a waste of time...ive seen better ones on some poorly produced Eastern European porn...(5/10 Cheap imitation!)
Lebanon and Mexico? Hello there sunshines...North African and Latinos? Nuff said...(8/10 Hotties!)
And cmon...this year's Miss Norway looks nothin like last year's porn star...and arent Norwegians famous for their blondes? This one's not! (6/10 Fake Norwegian!)
Another group shot! This one's got the fake Norwegian in it though...but hey! There's Miss Australia! Go Aussie!
(From left to right) Sharita Sopacua, Miss Netherlands Universe 2005; Adele Basson, Miss Namibia Universe 2005; Helene Traasavik, Miss Norway Universe 2005, and Michelle Guy, Miss Australia Universe 2005.
Miss Netherlands looks kinda hot! (7/10 Fresh new look!)...and wtf Miss Namibia is a white? Im aware of British expats workin in Zimbabwe and Namibia...but wow! Looks like i should have gone to Africa for my degree! (7.5/10 Cute!)
More photos can be found on the Sydney Morning Herald.
Fudge
adrock2xander is 3 months 28 days without a cigarette.
Fudge. Just add hair.
Ive seen it. And ive heard of it. I was always too broke to buy it. But now. Ive decided. Enough is enough. Time to pamper my hair. With Fudge. Im hooked on this product.
adrock2xander is 3 months 28 days without a cigarette.
Fudge. Just add hair.
Ive seen it. And ive heard of it. I was always too broke to buy it. But now. Ive decided. Enough is enough. Time to pamper my hair. With Fudge. Im hooked on this product.
Thursday, May 26
LiverBoo Wins Cup
adrock2xander is 3 months 27 days without a cigarette.
Liverpool have won the European Champions League Final...wow...big whoop...but coming from 3-0 down at half-time? And against one of the greatest team ever in AC Milan?
Absolutely...pants down...prostitute suckin ya cock...dope in vein...chained to wall the most amazing game ever...
If any fuckin Aussies here doubt the allure of soccer...do watch the game...perhaps ya lame ass FOOTY will be relegated to a back seat no?
adrock2xander is 3 months 27 days without a cigarette.
Liverpool have won the European Champions League Final...wow...big whoop...but coming from 3-0 down at half-time? And against one of the greatest team ever in AC Milan?
Absolutely...pants down...prostitute suckin ya cock...dope in vein...chained to wall the most amazing game ever...
If any fuckin Aussies here doubt the allure of soccer...do watch the game...perhaps ya lame ass FOOTY will be relegated to a back seat no?
Wednesday, May 25
Chew On My Burger Paris
adrock2xander is 3 months 26 days without a cigarette.
There is only one reason why men call Paris a slut...and that's coz those men are smart enough to know Paris will never look their way...
I...on the other hand...am smart enough to make fun of her...so she'll find my adulations and sense of humor charmin...and she just might consider me for a 30-minutes sex tape escapade...
Anyway i digress...
Advertisements and the promiscuous use of sellin a product through sex has reached a new low...
Screw-alicious Paris...half naked...washin a Bently...promotin a burger? Cmon...someone tell me the correlation makes sense...
Then again...if the ad's only available online...wouldnt the 'restriction' drive up sales of the burger? Or was that the car? Damnit what is Paris tryin to sell anyway...
Just give me Paris already...screw the burger...and screw the Bently...i'll show her my idea of the simple life...
adrock2xander is 3 months 26 days without a cigarette.
There is only one reason why men call Paris a slut...and that's coz those men are smart enough to know Paris will never look their way...
I...on the other hand...am smart enough to make fun of her...so she'll find my adulations and sense of humor charmin...and she just might consider me for a 30-minutes sex tape escapade...
Anyway i digress...
Advertisements and the promiscuous use of sellin a product through sex has reached a new low...
Screw-alicious Paris...half naked...washin a Bently...promotin a burger? Cmon...someone tell me the correlation makes sense...
Then again...if the ad's only available online...wouldnt the 'restriction' drive up sales of the burger? Or was that the car? Damnit what is Paris tryin to sell anyway...
Just give me Paris already...screw the burger...and screw the Bently...i'll show her my idea of the simple life...
Tuesday, May 24
Male Nipples? No Thanks!
Says here...that when severely aroused...men actually lactate durin sexual intercourse...
Imagine that...male breast milk!
Ive always been interested in nipples and breasts...this fascination of all things round began at the age of 10...when i realised...while lyin in bed one day...that strokin the nipple really lightly and squeezin it every other moment...you feel like ya on top of the world...flyin even...and my hands arent even in my pants yet...
Female breasts aside (which ive covered in an earlier post)...ive always wondered why men were given the strangest body parts of all - nipples...
Nipples on a man serve no function...no purpose at all...they dont provide aural (and indeed...oral) pleasures the way a woman's breast does...they fail to represent a man's manliness...and they definitely arent the first things a woman looks at when men take part in a wet tee shirt contest!
Male nipples are a pleasant waste of time...pleasant coz they're a good indicator of the temperature around us...not sure if it's cold enough to bring a sweater? Step outside in the open and expose ya nipples to the harsh environment...if ya nipples engorge and harden...no doubt about it...it's cold...
Another reason i could think of with my limited *coughs* sexual experience *coughs* is how male nipples facilitate in sexual foreplay...i cant think of any male who wouldnt like their partner...male or female...to bite...lick and suck their nipple in every imaginable manner possible...
And how bout those men who pierce their nipples? These blokes have no need to wear a bra like female do...there's no need to lift their prized assets to a 36D...so why the heck do men pierce their friggin nipples? Im all for self-mutilation and weird fashion...but i fail to see how a silver key chain hangin from ya left boob turns you on...
Until the day men can truly use their breast milk as a good substitution for women's breast milk...i reckon all men should remove their nipples...
Sue me...
Says here...that when severely aroused...men actually lactate durin sexual intercourse...
Imagine that...male breast milk!
Ive always been interested in nipples and breasts...this fascination of all things round began at the age of 10...when i realised...while lyin in bed one day...that strokin the nipple really lightly and squeezin it every other moment...you feel like ya on top of the world...flyin even...and my hands arent even in my pants yet...
Female breasts aside (which ive covered in an earlier post)...ive always wondered why men were given the strangest body parts of all - nipples...
Nipples on a man serve no function...no purpose at all...they dont provide aural (and indeed...oral) pleasures the way a woman's breast does...they fail to represent a man's manliness...and they definitely arent the first things a woman looks at when men take part in a wet tee shirt contest!
Male nipples are a pleasant waste of time...pleasant coz they're a good indicator of the temperature around us...not sure if it's cold enough to bring a sweater? Step outside in the open and expose ya nipples to the harsh environment...if ya nipples engorge and harden...no doubt about it...it's cold...
Another reason i could think of with my limited *coughs* sexual experience *coughs* is how male nipples facilitate in sexual foreplay...i cant think of any male who wouldnt like their partner...male or female...to bite...lick and suck their nipple in every imaginable manner possible...
And how bout those men who pierce their nipples? These blokes have no need to wear a bra like female do...there's no need to lift their prized assets to a 36D...so why the heck do men pierce their friggin nipples? Im all for self-mutilation and weird fashion...but i fail to see how a silver key chain hangin from ya left boob turns you on...
Until the day men can truly use their breast milk as a good substitution for women's breast milk...i reckon all men should remove their nipples...
Sue me...
To Please A Girlfriend
adrock2xander is 3 months 25 days without a cigarette.
Y'know how sometimes...you simply have to do somethin to amuse your beautiful girlfriend...and it has absolutely nothin to do with her beautiful smile...or beautiful giggles...or beautiful kisses...or the way her beautiful eyes light up when she sees her boyfriend..
So micheLe thought i looked really cute dozin off next to Max The 'Shih Tzu' Dog and Beary The Care Bear...and wanted the picture up on the blog...
Ok i gota admit...it does look kinda cute...
Hey does that mean i have a soft side after all? And all the anger and opinions can mix it up with cute cuddly toys?
Absolutely not!
adrock2xander is 3 months 25 days without a cigarette.
Y'know how sometimes...you simply have to do somethin to amuse your beautiful girlfriend...and it has absolutely nothin to do with her beautiful smile...or beautiful giggles...or beautiful kisses...or the way her beautiful eyes light up when she sees her boyfriend..
So micheLe thought i looked really cute dozin off next to Max The 'Shih Tzu' Dog and Beary The Care Bear...and wanted the picture up on the blog...
Ok i gota admit...it does look kinda cute...
Hey does that mean i have a soft side after all? And all the anger and opinions can mix it up with cute cuddly toys?
Absolutely not!
Sunday, May 22
Of Greece, Ukraine and Star Wars
adrock2xander is 3 months 23 days without a cigarette.
Greek singer Helena Paparizou has won the 50th Eurovision song contest in Ukraine...triumphing over competitors from 23 other countries, with the song My Number One...
Ukraine's President Viktor Yushchenko...who attended the competition with his family...handed Paparizou the Eurovision award...
Now i wonder how the song's gona sound like when it reaches the shores of Australia...
*to the tune of Aqua's Barbie Girl*
"Im a woggy girl...in a woggy world...life as a Greek...is fantastic..."
Yeah...
Speakin of Viktor Yushcenko...for the globally uninformed...Viktor was quite a handsome chap before the ill-fated Ukrainian election late last year...after consumin a drink that was laced with dioxin...he looked kinda hideous...
In the spirit of Star Wars...I reckon he looks remarkably similar to Senator Palpatin...doncha think?
Poor Viktor could consider joinin the Dark Side...he'd look pretty cool as a Sith Lord...
adrock2xander is 3 months 23 days without a cigarette.
Greek singer Helena Paparizou has won the 50th Eurovision song contest in Ukraine...triumphing over competitors from 23 other countries, with the song My Number One...
Ukraine's President Viktor Yushchenko...who attended the competition with his family...handed Paparizou the Eurovision award...
Now i wonder how the song's gona sound like when it reaches the shores of Australia...
*to the tune of Aqua's Barbie Girl*
"Im a woggy girl...in a woggy world...life as a Greek...is fantastic..."
Yeah...
Speakin of Viktor Yushcenko...for the globally uninformed...Viktor was quite a handsome chap before the ill-fated Ukrainian election late last year...after consumin a drink that was laced with dioxin...he looked kinda hideous...
In the spirit of Star Wars...I reckon he looks remarkably similar to Senator Palpatin...doncha think?
Poor Viktor could consider joinin the Dark Side...he'd look pretty cool as a Sith Lord...
Saturday, May 21
"We're witnessin history in the makin..."
adrock2xander is 3 months 22 days without a cigarette.
That's what i whispered to micheLe as the black face mask was lowered onto the disfigured Anakin Skywalker...
It was the 2nd night of screenin...Star Wars fever still has a vice-like grip on Melbourne...i was one of the lucky few to see it before the weekend...Revenge of the Sith...is hands down...the Star Wars movie you'd wana see if ya still unconvinced of the Dark Side's lure...and for those who still cant differentiate Star Wars and Star Trek...well...good on ya mate...
So wasnt it pleasant to find several life-sized Star Wars figures millin around the crowd in the cinema lobby...i turned from a 26yo man to an 8yo putty in like a second...couldnt stop mobbin them...
adrock2xander is 3 months 22 days without a cigarette.
That's what i whispered to micheLe as the black face mask was lowered onto the disfigured Anakin Skywalker...
It was the 2nd night of screenin...Star Wars fever still has a vice-like grip on Melbourne...i was one of the lucky few to see it before the weekend...Revenge of the Sith...is hands down...the Star Wars movie you'd wana see if ya still unconvinced of the Dark Side's lure...and for those who still cant differentiate Star Wars and Star Trek...well...good on ya mate...
So wasnt it pleasant to find several life-sized Star Wars figures millin around the crowd in the cinema lobby...i turned from a 26yo man to an 8yo putty in like a second...couldnt stop mobbin them...
Darth Vader was a lot shorter than he looked...but he's quite friendly i reckon...haha...
micheLe had designs on being the next Sith Lord...Darth Vader wasnt too happy with that...so he clamped his hands around her neck...
I wasnt too pleased...so i threw Darth a very threatenin look...
An Imperial Guard spotted me makin monkey faces at Darth...and that didnt go down well with him...as punishment he made me pose with him...and damn we look alike...hmmmm maybe it's the shirt? :O
Along came a Jedi Knight...who saw an Asian being harassed...he chopped down the Imperial Guard in one fell swoop...and saved my life...
Somehow the Storm Trooper survived...last i saw he was holdin a bloke hostage in the arcade...poor bloke couldnt even play his game in peace...
Not gona spoil it for anyone...but i suggest everyone should catch Star Wars Episode III over the weekend...it's 140 minutes of good entertainment...a 28yo saga that took 6 movies to deliver is finally complete...get a large popcorn and coke...sit back with some of ya buds...and enjoy...
Friday, May 20
Baby Isnt A Solution You Bint!
adrock2xander is 3 months 21 days without a cigarette.
Overheard on a Fox 101.9 FM Aunt Agony program while i was workin on an essay:
"Hi im in a 18-month relationship with a man i really love. When we started datin he was the sweetest thing in the world. These days he isnt what he used to be. I still love him deeply but i think he's driftin away from me. Im currently on the pill, and intend to stop takin it so he can get me pregnant. I think that's the only way to make him come back to me again. What's your advice?"
What?
Honey...the only thing you'll do if you have his baby is drive him away...for fuck sakes...what on Earth were you thinkin when you suggested that 6th-grade idea on national radio? You've not only made yaself the biggest loser in Melbourne...but ensured you almost certainly will lose ya honey-bunny regardless of action...
Cmon you stupid git...you cant trap someone with a baby these days...did i already mention that's so 6th-grade? Sure for a second the man's gona think his libido's still workin and his sperm are of premium grade coz they survived the trip to ya ovary...but everythin after that is just downhill...
He knew you were on the pill...yet you somehow...out of the blue...got knocked up...do you think the first thing that comes to his mind his joy? No! He could be thinkin either:
1) "The baby isnt mine! My girlfriend is on the pill! Fuckin bitch! Cheatin hoe!"
2) "OMG im gona be a father! No wait she's on the pill! Fuckin bitch! Cheatin hoe!"
3) All of the above
Either way...the chick's so fucked...
I hope you get dumped one day...
adrock2xander is 3 months 21 days without a cigarette.
Overheard on a Fox 101.9 FM Aunt Agony program while i was workin on an essay:
"Hi im in a 18-month relationship with a man i really love. When we started datin he was the sweetest thing in the world. These days he isnt what he used to be. I still love him deeply but i think he's driftin away from me. Im currently on the pill, and intend to stop takin it so he can get me pregnant. I think that's the only way to make him come back to me again. What's your advice?"
What?
Honey...the only thing you'll do if you have his baby is drive him away...for fuck sakes...what on Earth were you thinkin when you suggested that 6th-grade idea on national radio? You've not only made yaself the biggest loser in Melbourne...but ensured you almost certainly will lose ya honey-bunny regardless of action...
Cmon you stupid git...you cant trap someone with a baby these days...did i already mention that's so 6th-grade? Sure for a second the man's gona think his libido's still workin and his sperm are of premium grade coz they survived the trip to ya ovary...but everythin after that is just downhill...
He knew you were on the pill...yet you somehow...out of the blue...got knocked up...do you think the first thing that comes to his mind his joy? No! He could be thinkin either:
1) "The baby isnt mine! My girlfriend is on the pill! Fuckin bitch! Cheatin hoe!"
2) "OMG im gona be a father! No wait she's on the pill! Fuckin bitch! Cheatin hoe!"
3) All of the above
Either way...the chick's so fucked...
I hope you get dumped one day...
Thursday, May 19
Brewery and Buddhism! Bah!
Jennifer in a Thai brewery.
Miss Universe 2004 Jennifer Hawkins is in Thailand to promote this year's Miss Universe pageant...sparkin off a reaction in other ways than one...
Models were paradin in their swimwear in front of Buddhist temples...enragin many religious and political leaders...wow...big hoot...
Someone explain to me why the Thai people are still so bloody obstinate? It's the 21st century...what with globalisation and all...women bearin their tits and gay love parades are a dime a dozen...why cant the Buddhists adapt to the Americanisation and just accept that Buddhism is for fools who think skinhead is cool and goin vegetarian is clean...
The world has more pressin concerns to deal with...we dont need another bunch of self-centered red necks whose lives revolve around a fat & bald man...
Get a grip Thailand...and deal...
Jennifer in a Thai brewery.
Miss Universe 2004 Jennifer Hawkins is in Thailand to promote this year's Miss Universe pageant...sparkin off a reaction in other ways than one...
Models were paradin in their swimwear in front of Buddhist temples...enragin many religious and political leaders...wow...big hoot...
Someone explain to me why the Thai people are still so bloody obstinate? It's the 21st century...what with globalisation and all...women bearin their tits and gay love parades are a dime a dozen...why cant the Buddhists adapt to the Americanisation and just accept that Buddhism is for fools who think skinhead is cool and goin vegetarian is clean...
The world has more pressin concerns to deal with...we dont need another bunch of self-centered red necks whose lives revolve around a fat & bald man...
Get a grip Thailand...and deal...
Lucky?
- credit to Angela Wylie for the picture taken yesterday.
This is Kylie's parents' home in Melbourne...
With the media campin outside the home in Canterbury...the networks wait for that elusive shot that would hit the ratings through the roof...God i hate media and their stupid ratings...someone should just shoot Kerry Packer and his media moguls...
Cooped in the house now are perhaps herself...her parents...and her French heart-throb of a boyfriend Olivier Martinez...
Geez can someone hear her sing "I Should Be So Lucky" right now?
Yeah...she sure is lucky...what with breast cancer and all...
- credit to Angela Wylie for the picture taken yesterday.
This is Kylie's parents' home in Melbourne...
With the media campin outside the home in Canterbury...the networks wait for that elusive shot that would hit the ratings through the roof...God i hate media and their stupid ratings...someone should just shoot Kerry Packer and his media moguls...
Cooped in the house now are perhaps herself...her parents...and her French heart-throb of a boyfriend Olivier Martinez...
Geez can someone hear her sing "I Should Be So Lucky" right now?
Yeah...she sure is lucky...what with breast cancer and all...
New PS3 Unveiled
adrock2xander is 3 months 20 days without a cigarette.
The New PS3 is set to dominate the gamin industry..
Im gona feel so inadequate when i walk into a game shop when it's launched...
Thanks heaps Sony...thanks...
adrock2xander is 3 months 20 days without a cigarette.
The New PS3 is set to dominate the gamin industry..
Im gona feel so inadequate when i walk into a game shop when it's launched...
Thanks heaps Sony...thanks...
Wednesday, May 18
Letter to Kylie Minogue (pronounced Mee-No-Gyu)
adrock2xander is 3 months 19 days without a cigarette.
Would you believe it? Your attempt at more publicity actually worked...your shizzam of a news-breakin story actually took precedence over Australian and international news in Melbourne...wait what international news? Australian news networks never cover international news...no wonder Aussies are so close-minded...
I had to sit through 10 minutes of arduous Channel Nine news just to get to another breakin news story...all thanks to you...
Kylie...i sure dont fuckin care if you've got lymph nodes in ya tits...as it is ya arse is hot enough for men to go ga-ga over you...you could lose ya breast and go flat-chested and still have men desire you like ya the only woman on Earth...trust me Kylie...ya gona be fine...millions of Asian women still get dates...married and have kids...if they can grow old with a flat chest...im sure you would too...
Besides...you've earned millions over these 20 years...you have the adulation and requited love of heaps of fans and male admirers...even if ya tits are removed...you'll never be alone...all the money and popularity is a sure-fire way to make you recover a hell lot faster...Australia needs some famous people like you to put them on the map...surely you dont think Steve Irwin's gona get them anywhere...with that redneck accent of his?
*sigh* Sometimes gays do get it all...
Your un-opinionated fan
adrock2xander
adrock2xander is 3 months 19 days without a cigarette.
Would you believe it? Your attempt at more publicity actually worked...your shizzam of a news-breakin story actually took precedence over Australian and international news in Melbourne...wait what international news? Australian news networks never cover international news...no wonder Aussies are so close-minded...
I had to sit through 10 minutes of arduous Channel Nine news just to get to another breakin news story...all thanks to you...
Kylie...i sure dont fuckin care if you've got lymph nodes in ya tits...as it is ya arse is hot enough for men to go ga-ga over you...you could lose ya breast and go flat-chested and still have men desire you like ya the only woman on Earth...trust me Kylie...ya gona be fine...millions of Asian women still get dates...married and have kids...if they can grow old with a flat chest...im sure you would too...
Besides...you've earned millions over these 20 years...you have the adulation and requited love of heaps of fans and male admirers...even if ya tits are removed...you'll never be alone...all the money and popularity is a sure-fire way to make you recover a hell lot faster...Australia needs some famous people like you to put them on the map...surely you dont think Steve Irwin's gona get them anywhere...with that redneck accent of his?
While ya at it could you tell ya sister Dannii that she's a fuckin horrible singer and has to stop imitatin you...she sucks dick and should just stick to hard core pornography...
I do hope you recover soon and get back to the blow job you give so well...and oh yeah some singin too...more 'La La La La La La La Out Of My Head' songs is good...yeah...my head...you know where the good stuff is...
But the next time you decide to drop a killer news story like this please ensure that im not sittin in front of the couch watchin you pout at Boy George...i get sick with envy...*sigh* Sometimes gays do get it all...
Your un-opinionated fan
adrock2xander
Tuesday, May 17
Impossible Princess's Impossibility
This just in...not 55 minutes ago...
Australia's pop Princess Kylie Minogue has been diagnosed with breast cancer...
Gosh...isnt it ironic? How God deals a cruel hand when Kylie has been so kind to the awareness of breast cancer...
Poor Kylie...bet she cant stop 'Spinnin Around' now...what with all the chemo-therapy and hair loss...
Even more ironic - Australia's 2 top divas Kylie and Delta Goodrem have both been diagnosed with cancer...wow...
I think that's a sign to all prospective female singers who wana break out of Australia - It doesnt pay to be kind! Change ya sex!
This just in...not 55 minutes ago...
Australia's pop Princess Kylie Minogue has been diagnosed with breast cancer...
Gosh...isnt it ironic? How God deals a cruel hand when Kylie has been so kind to the awareness of breast cancer...
Poor Kylie...bet she cant stop 'Spinnin Around' now...what with all the chemo-therapy and hair loss...
Even more ironic - Australia's 2 top divas Kylie and Delta Goodrem have both been diagnosed with cancer...wow...
I think that's a sign to all prospective female singers who wana break out of Australia - It doesnt pay to be kind! Change ya sex!
Reality Check Lindsay! Ya Fat!...Not!
adrock2xander is 3 months 18 days without a cigarette.
So explain to me the part where Lindsay Lohan was all cute and cuddly again?
Crikeys...she looks like a skeleton-and-a-half...and she still reckons she's got a couple of pounds to lose...
adrock2xander is 3 months 18 days without a cigarette.
So explain to me the part where Lindsay Lohan was all cute and cuddly again?
Crikeys...she looks like a skeleton-and-a-half...and she still reckons she's got a couple of pounds to lose...
Saturday, May 14
Plastic Surgery - Why Women/Asian Women Need/Dont Need It
adrock2xander is 3 months 15 days without a cigarette.
Patricea Heaton is one of those stars that never gets old or ugly...after 10 years of Everybody Loves Raymond...i reckon she's gotten not just hotter...but also younger...such a pity the comedy series isnt in syndication anymore...not only was it funny...it made me think twice bout marryin...y'know...parents-in-law...*shudders*
What i love bout her is her guts...she has admitted publicly that she has undergone plastic surgery to cover up the 'after effects' of her 4 Caesarian births...yes she has 4 kids...all 5'2" of her...quite remarkable with her hectic work schedule and filmin...where did she find the time to boink her husband...gettin preggies...juggle other kids...have a social life and watch Oprah? The scriptwriters had to work the script around her bulgin tummy...and copin with all the sickness associated with preggies...but oh well i suppose if ya earnin like US$10,000 for an episode you can afford just bout anythin...includin heaps of silicon-beautification and fat-suction...
Come to think bout it...why wouldnt women these days just head for plastic surgery? Almost all women are incredibly quick to pass judgement at the glossy pages of beautiful women in magazines...quicker to throw a scornful look at a woman who admits to plastic surgery...but head home sufferin in silence as their pride just wouldnt allow them to make a quick phone call to the nearest 'body doctor'...
How many of you men have had ya girlfriends turnin off/dimmin the lights when they're ridin your stick? It's more romantic? Fuckin bollocks! They're just too insecure with their bodies...but newflash ladies...we men dont care! We just wana fuck the brains out of ya! Solution to sex in a well-lit room? Call the 'body doctor'!
Spendin lots of time in front of the mirror...pullin a long face when the cellulite shows? Suckin in ya tummy? Worry no more! Call the 'body doctor'!
I once had the displeasure of seein the tummy of a woman who had 3 kids...i tell ya...you know how Cindy Crawford looks? Her tummy looks nothin like her...it was awful...folds and folds of skin...like a lasagna...how her husband could bring himself to make love to a Shar-Pei dog is beyond me...
Sure it costs a lot of money...but isnt the money well spent at the end of the day? You blow 2 months' salary on a basic tummy tuck and cellulite removal...and you get months and months of mind-alterin sex and endless number of wolf-whistles from men...now tell me...if that's not a good investment i dont know what is...
With the world spellin doom and gloom with cigarettes...why not spend some of the money saved into plastic surgery? Now you no longer need cigarettes to help you look cool...you are cool...you can have the breastiest breasts and the hottest body this side of town...rhinoplasty? No worries mate...get that flat bridge of yers straightened...and you now have the prettiest nose...
I highly recommend Asian women goin for some physical doctorin...what with their slit-eyes and all...some serious tinkerin is necassary...after all with all the Westernisation and Americanisation...every Asian wana be a Caucasian...sooner or later double eyelids is gona be so common...defined cheekbones are gona be so uncool...thin lips are gona be so out of fashion...and a sharp nose is so yesterday...
Yeah...like that would happen...
With Asian women goin under the knives...there's gona be a drop in the number of white men goin out with Asian women...i mean...have you see most of the Caucasian men with a trophy Asian woman in their arms? Almost all the women are fugly...these Caucasians just have an Asian fetish goin on...though how that happened i can never really understand...those women they date are shite-lookin to begin with...
I suppose lookin fugly does have its upsides...them women are probably champions at givin blowjobs and ridin their partners...after all you must have somethin redeemin bout yaself if any self-respectin man would wana be caught dead holdin ya hand in public...think Paris Hilton with looks...and ya gettin there...
And...with Caucasians findin physically-enhanced Asian women dawg ugly...they leave their adopted countries and fat paychecks...back to their native land...where they touch themselves to sleep every night...unable to score a fuckin date as they're no longer desirable...after all...these white men needed Asian women to boost their self-esteem...no mean feat considerin they're 350 pounds...bald and chain smokes...
Asian women would rather date fat, baldin and ugly white men than slim and less ugly Asian men...funny isnt it? I fail to comprehend the logic...
White man and a fat pay check? Nope...
Trophy Asian woman in ya arm to make you look good? Nope...
Props to plastic surgery? Definitely...
adrock2xander is 3 months 15 days without a cigarette.
Patricea Heaton is one of those stars that never gets old or ugly...after 10 years of Everybody Loves Raymond...i reckon she's gotten not just hotter...but also younger...such a pity the comedy series isnt in syndication anymore...not only was it funny...it made me think twice bout marryin...y'know...parents-in-law...*shudders*What i love bout her is her guts...she has admitted publicly that she has undergone plastic surgery to cover up the 'after effects' of her 4 Caesarian births...yes she has 4 kids...all 5'2" of her...quite remarkable with her hectic work schedule and filmin...where did she find the time to boink her husband...gettin preggies...juggle other kids...have a social life and watch Oprah? The scriptwriters had to work the script around her bulgin tummy...and copin with all the sickness associated with preggies...but oh well i suppose if ya earnin like US$10,000 for an episode you can afford just bout anythin...includin heaps of silicon-beautification and fat-suction...
Come to think bout it...why wouldnt women these days just head for plastic surgery? Almost all women are incredibly quick to pass judgement at the glossy pages of beautiful women in magazines...quicker to throw a scornful look at a woman who admits to plastic surgery...but head home sufferin in silence as their pride just wouldnt allow them to make a quick phone call to the nearest 'body doctor'...
How many of you men have had ya girlfriends turnin off/dimmin the lights when they're ridin your stick? It's more romantic? Fuckin bollocks! They're just too insecure with their bodies...but newflash ladies...we men dont care! We just wana fuck the brains out of ya! Solution to sex in a well-lit room? Call the 'body doctor'!
Spendin lots of time in front of the mirror...pullin a long face when the cellulite shows? Suckin in ya tummy? Worry no more! Call the 'body doctor'!
I once had the displeasure of seein the tummy of a woman who had 3 kids...i tell ya...you know how Cindy Crawford looks? Her tummy looks nothin like her...it was awful...folds and folds of skin...like a lasagna...how her husband could bring himself to make love to a Shar-Pei dog is beyond me...
Sure it costs a lot of money...but isnt the money well spent at the end of the day? You blow 2 months' salary on a basic tummy tuck and cellulite removal...and you get months and months of mind-alterin sex and endless number of wolf-whistles from men...now tell me...if that's not a good investment i dont know what is...
With the world spellin doom and gloom with cigarettes...why not spend some of the money saved into plastic surgery? Now you no longer need cigarettes to help you look cool...you are cool...you can have the breastiest breasts and the hottest body this side of town...rhinoplasty? No worries mate...get that flat bridge of yers straightened...and you now have the prettiest nose...
I highly recommend Asian women goin for some physical doctorin...what with their slit-eyes and all...some serious tinkerin is necassary...after all with all the Westernisation and Americanisation...every Asian wana be a Caucasian...sooner or later double eyelids is gona be so common...defined cheekbones are gona be so uncool...thin lips are gona be so out of fashion...and a sharp nose is so yesterday...
Yeah...like that would happen...
With Asian women goin under the knives...there's gona be a drop in the number of white men goin out with Asian women...i mean...have you see most of the Caucasian men with a trophy Asian woman in their arms? Almost all the women are fugly...these Caucasians just have an Asian fetish goin on...though how that happened i can never really understand...those women they date are shite-lookin to begin with...
I suppose lookin fugly does have its upsides...them women are probably champions at givin blowjobs and ridin their partners...after all you must have somethin redeemin bout yaself if any self-respectin man would wana be caught dead holdin ya hand in public...think Paris Hilton with looks...and ya gettin there...
And...with Caucasians findin physically-enhanced Asian women dawg ugly...they leave their adopted countries and fat paychecks...back to their native land...where they touch themselves to sleep every night...unable to score a fuckin date as they're no longer desirable...after all...these white men needed Asian women to boost their self-esteem...no mean feat considerin they're 350 pounds...bald and chain smokes...
Asian women would rather date fat, baldin and ugly white men than slim and less ugly Asian men...funny isnt it? I fail to comprehend the logic...
White man and a fat pay check? Nope...
Trophy Asian woman in ya arm to make you look good? Nope...
Props to plastic surgery? Definitely...
Friday, May 13
Job anyone?
adrock2xander is 3 months 14 days without a cigarette.
Thanks to Aish...
Anyone in Malaysia lookin for a job? I reckon terrorists need a break from their day jobs sometimes...
Online job vacancy
Hmmm...a terrorist who writes bout his anti-Democracy trainings? Wadya know...it could just happen...
adrock2xander is 3 months 14 days without a cigarette.
Thanks to Aish...
Anyone in Malaysia lookin for a job? I reckon terrorists need a break from their day jobs sometimes...
Online job vacancy
Hmmm...a terrorist who writes bout his anti-Democracy trainings? Wadya know...it could just happen...
Thursday, May 12
A Century and a Half later...
adrock2xander is 3 months 13 days without a cigarette.
Outrageous. Beautiful. Misfit. has just over 150 hits in the last 23 hours 28 minutes...
150 hits...that is completely unprecedented...
Never before has my blog gotten so many hits...it averages 80 hits a day...and on good days 100...but 150? Someone's been handin them readers some brownies i reckon...
adrock2xander is 3 months 13 days without a cigarette.
Outrageous. Beautiful. Misfit. has just over 150 hits in the last 23 hours 28 minutes...
150 hits...that is completely unprecedented...
Never before has my blog gotten so many hits...it averages 80 hits a day...and on good days 100...but 150? Someone's been handin them readers some brownies i reckon...
Wednesday, May 11
A Hollywood star in our midst?
These days...Lindsay Lohan is a trailer thrash with boobs that scream blood-and-thunder and is generally not worth the public scrutiny that she's being subjected to...for those old enough to remember..Lindsay Lohan was the cutest thing with freckles that walked the earth when she appeared in The Parent Trap in 1998...
There's this chick in Uni that looks remarkably like Lindsay circa 1998...OMG the resemblance is uncanny...i could've sworn i took a double take when i saw her...
micheLe and Gavin refuse to agree with me...HELLO? Cant y'all not see the resemblance there? Same smile...same red hair (only shorter)...same sparklin eyes...
Does anyone out there agree with me at all?
P.S: Thank you Kate for posin...ya a champ :) Can i get your Brendan Fraiser lookalike boyfriend to pose for me now?
These days...Lindsay Lohan is a trailer thrash with boobs that scream blood-and-thunder and is generally not worth the public scrutiny that she's being subjected to...for those old enough to remember..Lindsay Lohan was the cutest thing with freckles that walked the earth when she appeared in The Parent Trap in 1998...
There's this chick in Uni that looks remarkably like Lindsay circa 1998...OMG the resemblance is uncanny...i could've sworn i took a double take when i saw her...
micheLe and Gavin refuse to agree with me...HELLO? Cant y'all not see the resemblance there? Same smile...same red hair (only shorter)...same sparklin eyes...
Does anyone out there agree with me at all?
P.S: Thank you Kate for posin...ya a champ :) Can i get your Brendan Fraiser lookalike boyfriend to pose for me now?
K.K.K - Not the Ku Klux Klan! The Krispy Kreme Klan!
adrock2xander is 3 months 12 days without a cigarette.
The best doughnuts in the world...and they're all for the three of us to consume...3 boxes of Krispy Kreme doughnuts mysteriously teleported from nowhere and appeared on our dinin table...
micheLe had gone to Sydney for a short holiday over the weekend and returned with these delectable goodies...it's funny how one of the most famous doughnuts in the world is only available in Sydney...many in Melbourne still go 'huh?' when one mentions Krispy Kreme...and im sorry mentionin Doughnut King in the same sentence with Krispy Kreme is blasphemy! Do your tastebuds justice! Give your stomach the doughnuts it craves! Give it Krispy Kreme!
adrock2xander is 3 months 12 days without a cigarette.
The best doughnuts in the world...and they're all for the three of us to consume...3 boxes of Krispy Kreme doughnuts mysteriously teleported from nowhere and appeared on our dinin table...
micheLe had gone to Sydney for a short holiday over the weekend and returned with these delectable goodies...it's funny how one of the most famous doughnuts in the world is only available in Sydney...many in Melbourne still go 'huh?' when one mentions Krispy Kreme...and im sorry mentionin Doughnut King in the same sentence with Krispy Kreme is blasphemy! Do your tastebuds justice! Give your stomach the doughnuts it craves! Give it Krispy Kreme!
Tuesday, May 10
Lord of the Breath - One Breath To Rule Them All
adrock2xander is 3 months 11 days without a cigarette.
She was the prettiest brunette ive seen in a long while...from where i stood...the counter she stood behind was so far away...4 people with a truckload of groceries to be precise...
I was at Coles in Barkley Square Brunswick over the weekend...all i wanted to do was buy a packet of Wrigley's chewies for my cigarette cravings (yeah i still get them) and a bottle of Coke...good thing the pretty cashier-girl made waitin a joy...doodeedoodeedoo i whistled beneath i breath...content at just lookin...NOT! I dont have a habit of just lookin at cute girls...i like chattin them up...afterall...it IS harmless fun...
As i the queue shortened...i got closer to the chick...her name's Wendy...eeeshhh...an Aussie called Wendy? Whatever happened to good old Anglo-Saxon names like Elisabeth and Jessica?
The bloke in front of me checked out his trolley of war rations...he bought enough food to remain in hidin from a nuclear bomb...and i placed the Coke and Wrigley's on the counter...Wendy smiled and flashed her pearly whites...
"Hi how ya doin?" i quipped...
"Good thanks..." Wendy replied...
And then it hit me without warnin and mercy...
Her breath almost blew me away...it's the vile stench that makes a maggot-infested corpse look like a walk in the park...i thought i was hit by an 18-wheeler...and the only way to avoid it was to do an Neo-inspired Matrix avoidin-the-bullets act...
Oh Wendy why why why...why must you be blessed with such good looks only to spoil it all with the One Breath To Rule Them All?
I was of coz seized by the same impulse to grab someone with severe halitosis by their fuckin balls...or neck if it's a woman...squeeze it so tight it hurts them more than it hurts my flarin nostrils and shout: "Hey dingbat do you know where Saddam's Weapons Of Mass Destruction are? In ya fuckin mouth!"
But of coz...being the gentleman i was...i practiced withstrain...partly becoz Wendy's so bloody pretty...she didnt look a day past 18...all virginal and pure...i dont think she's aware of her condition...i rather she learn it the hard way...a chick like her WILL get admirers...some bloke's gona get repulsed by her breath...he's gona hurt her feelings...she's gona do somethin bout it...and her breath's gona complement her looks...yeah...
Is it so hard to do a breath check on oneself these days? With the staggerin array of breath mints out in the market...i daresay consumers are spoilt for choice...it's simple! Buy mint...Open mint...Pop mint in mouth...Fresh breath for an hour! Why dont people just get it...
We give up seats for the elderly and needy coz they need to rest their bums...we donate blood to hospitals coz they're runnin out of blood...we give a middle finger to rude drivers in the streets...we laugh at President Bush whenever he talks coz he's fuckin stupid...so why cant we muster enough courage to tell someone to pop a mint coz he's got a fuckin WAR in his mouth?
Surely pointin one's breath to a person isnt a taboo...ive not seen any religion or teachings forbiddin us not to tolerate a bad breath...so why the shufflin of feet? For once...quite possibly...im stymmied...
Wendy...you've got ya work cut out...ive got no solution for ya...either eat them mints or ya not gettin lucky anytime soon...hell...
adrock2xander is 3 months 11 days without a cigarette.
She was the prettiest brunette ive seen in a long while...from where i stood...the counter she stood behind was so far away...4 people with a truckload of groceries to be precise...
I was at Coles in Barkley Square Brunswick over the weekend...all i wanted to do was buy a packet of Wrigley's chewies for my cigarette cravings (yeah i still get them) and a bottle of Coke...good thing the pretty cashier-girl made waitin a joy...doodeedoodeedoo i whistled beneath i breath...content at just lookin...NOT! I dont have a habit of just lookin at cute girls...i like chattin them up...afterall...it IS harmless fun...
As i the queue shortened...i got closer to the chick...her name's Wendy...eeeshhh...an Aussie called Wendy? Whatever happened to good old Anglo-Saxon names like Elisabeth and Jessica?
The bloke in front of me checked out his trolley of war rations...he bought enough food to remain in hidin from a nuclear bomb...and i placed the Coke and Wrigley's on the counter...Wendy smiled and flashed her pearly whites...
"Hi how ya doin?" i quipped...
"Good thanks..." Wendy replied...
And then it hit me without warnin and mercy...
Her breath almost blew me away...it's the vile stench that makes a maggot-infested corpse look like a walk in the park...i thought i was hit by an 18-wheeler...and the only way to avoid it was to do an Neo-inspired Matrix avoidin-the-bullets act...
Oh Wendy why why why...why must you be blessed with such good looks only to spoil it all with the One Breath To Rule Them All?
I was of coz seized by the same impulse to grab someone with severe halitosis by their fuckin balls...or neck if it's a woman...squeeze it so tight it hurts them more than it hurts my flarin nostrils and shout: "Hey dingbat do you know where Saddam's Weapons Of Mass Destruction are? In ya fuckin mouth!"
But of coz...being the gentleman i was...i practiced withstrain...partly becoz Wendy's so bloody pretty...she didnt look a day past 18...all virginal and pure...i dont think she's aware of her condition...i rather she learn it the hard way...a chick like her WILL get admirers...some bloke's gona get repulsed by her breath...he's gona hurt her feelings...she's gona do somethin bout it...and her breath's gona complement her looks...yeah...
Is it so hard to do a breath check on oneself these days? With the staggerin array of breath mints out in the market...i daresay consumers are spoilt for choice...it's simple! Buy mint...Open mint...Pop mint in mouth...Fresh breath for an hour! Why dont people just get it...
We give up seats for the elderly and needy coz they need to rest their bums...we donate blood to hospitals coz they're runnin out of blood...we give a middle finger to rude drivers in the streets...we laugh at President Bush whenever he talks coz he's fuckin stupid...so why cant we muster enough courage to tell someone to pop a mint coz he's got a fuckin WAR in his mouth?
Surely pointin one's breath to a person isnt a taboo...ive not seen any religion or teachings forbiddin us not to tolerate a bad breath...so why the shufflin of feet? For once...quite possibly...im stymmied...
Wendy...you've got ya work cut out...ive got no solution for ya...either eat them mints or ya not gettin lucky anytime soon...hell...
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