Monday, July 31

Powa To Da Random!

The Beautiful

How many songs do you have in your mp3 player?

In my usual swashbuckling anti-conformist style, i've bucked the trend and went ahead to buy a Creative Zen Touch just about 2 years ago. Fuck Apple.
Fuck iPods.

But i digress.

My little baby packs a powerful 20GB punch of memory, so i tend to over-indulge and chuck my entire CD collection into the device. Thing is, you lose track of what music you have after awhile.

My Zen Touch has only 6GB worth of songs right now. That's 1216 tracks or 98 albums. That's a shit load of tracks. Too many tracks if you ask me. So much so i had no idea i had some gems in my collection.

I'm a huge dance music afficionado. 70% of my music is uptempo, dancefloor killers. It starts my day and it ends my day. More often than not, when you chance upon me in Melbourne with my oversized silver headphones, it's dance music i'm listening to.

I got bored of my usual listening habit of listening to full albums this morning. Sitting at the tram stop on my way to work at 7am, i decided to fiddle around with the Random button just to spice up my trip.

To my amazement, i 'dug' up nuggets of music brilliance. Tracks i never even knew existed. Perhaps i simply wasn't paying enough attention to my compilations.

A random press, and it's an uplifting vocal trance number by Armin van Buuren. Several minutes later, it's a dark house floor-filler by Danny Howells. And just several minutes ago - 17 hours into my Random experiment - an awesome white knuckle rush by Dave Seaman.

Gota respect the Random button!

Sunday, July 30

In Metroblogging Melbourne

The Misfit


Shane Warne - Spun Out If you're 18 and above, blonde and attractive, chances are you'd have slept with Shane Warne.

Ok that's a sweeping statement.

The statistics are quite mind-boggling. A man, still in his mid-30s, with over 1000 conquests. Rich, famous and a fucking sex machine. Now isn't that the dream of all men out there.

Today, i talk a little about Shane Warne's unauthorised biography, Spun Out by Kerry Packer biographer and award winning journalist Paul Barry.

Shane Warne and the 1001 Dalmations, eh, Women.

Saturday, July 29

In Metroblogging Melbourne

The Misfit



Today, i review the movie Click. Well, sort of.

Btw, Kate Beckinsale is too hot. She has to disappear from the face of the earth. Or the fate of men hangs in the balance.

Have you seen the movie Click?

Friday, July 28

How Fat Will They Become?

The Outrageous

X-ray scan of a family The most powerful country in the world, yes. Ease of passage to other countries,

How much bigger will human beings become? Already i'm struglling with the tram and cinema seats. Mind you these were built for the previous generation of adults.

I pity the next generation of growing children. They'll be little sardines packed in a compact tin.

Wednesday, July 26

Hard Being An Asian

The Outrageous

It's hard being an Asian in Melbourne.

It don't matter how you dress or how you talk, people here always assume an Asian is in Melbourne for educational purposes.

I'm hardly the shabbiest dresser around. Most university students are as they're poor and can't afford to buy clothes. I've got 9 years on them. Which explains my wardrobe.

So why do nice, old ladies in the bank, the pimply-teen working in the op shop and the educated gentleman with a $80,000 annual salary always ask if i'm a student when quizzed on my profession? It's proof that the people here do not judge Asians on their dressing. They look at the face. How shallow.

What's worst, is they immediately assume an Asian's partner is a student too. What're they implying? That students can't date white or blue collar workers? It's extremely offensive and rude. And these are the ones who stare when you walk down Bourke Street with a pretty non-Asian girlfriend.

Talk about double-standards.

I'm not denying i'm a student. What bugs me is, there're several hundred thousand Asians who're born and bred in Melbourne. They speak in the same affectionate Aussie accent, consume the same products as everyone else and vote for the same folks in the government. Are they immediately pegged as foreign students too?

And they're always Anglos. Even the Australian Asians and Wogs are civil enough.

Asians are still seen as outsiders. I'd like to remind the the Anglos that they're outsiders themselves.

'Anglos flew here, they didn't grow here' - someone should have thrown this at the Anglos in the Cronulla riots last year.

Australia Is The Best Country In The World!

The Outrageous

The forums in Australia are buzzing with delight what with Erin's surprise non-appearance in the Final 20. I wouldn't go as far as using such a word, but some where even shocked. Donald Trump's backing you say? How about no?

This is one of the funniest response from a Carmel Egan.

10 reasons why "Our Erin" should have won Miss Universe.

1. Australia is the greatest country on the face of the planet.

2. Erin is hot.

3. People from the Third World are always given more slack from judges.

4. She did not sleep with Trump.

5. Australian women are the hottest women in the world.

6. We shave our armpits.

7. We got robbed in soccer (and the cricket, the hockey, the tennis etc), its high time the judges side with us.

8. She is much smarter than the other contestants as she is from QTS.

9. Real Aussie women don't dive, unlike those cheating Latin American ones.

10. Australia is the greatest country on the face of this planet.

I cannot agree with most of the points raised. Especially point 6.

No doubt about it, Carmel's your regular Joe Blow Aussie.

Oi oi oi!

In Metroblogging Melbourne

The Misfit


Erin McNaught

Image taken off Dallys Models

Today i wonder how the Final 20 is decided. Erin didn't even make the cut. Blasphemy!

McNaught? More like McNought!

Monday, July 24

Accents, And The Likeness Of It

The Beautiful

The new semester resumes. I'm glad. The holidays do not present much of a fun atmosphere as much as a 19yo. Guess when age catches up on you, an extended holiday is just another excuse to laze and be extremely unproductive. Which i detest.

But i digress.

Sitting with my sidekick of the day, the very likeable Bridget (you'v got a messed up family girlfriend lol) in a late afternoon lecture, i listened to the introductory speech presented by our co-lecturer Amanda Crane.

It hadn't occur to me at all, but Amanda was harping on and on for a full 5 minutes before she mentioned that her American accent sticks out like a sore thumb.

American? In our progressive society, where the American behemoth gradually constructs and takes over the every facet of Australian life, the North American accent wasn't apparent to me at all. Until she mentioned it.

In the following 10 minutes i mentally tried to deconstruct her accent and compare it to the Australian accent. They're very, very different. But having lived here for over 18 months and being brought up on the American culture my entire life, i realised i was having trouble trying to pick them out! It's so ingrained in my speech and intonation, to the point where i couldn't even pick out a different accent when i hear one.

It's then i realised my problem was my English. I speak with a three-tone American, Australian and International English all thrown into one. It's hard to pick out where i'm from when i speak.

3 weeks ago while shoving chips into a chip bucket in a busy retail outlet (a very humbling experience i gotta tell ya), the register girl told me she had problems trying to figure out where i was from as my English sounded very American. I was amused. I don't think i sound like an American i sound. International English is what i prefer. I do not profess to love everything American, but American English is the de rigeur for the listener. It's very easy on the ear and i love the way it resonates, particularly the East Coast American English.

Australian English on the other hand, sounds more rough and forced. I do love way many words are stressed differently than their English counterparts in Britain. It does have its charm though. Putting it to use often makes for dinner table conversations. My folks back home still think i'm batty when i use words like fair dinkum. Like, wtf?

Nobody believes me when i tell them i've only been in Australia for just under 2 years and i hail from a land more notoriously known for her strict drug laws and fines.

Such is the beauty of an International English. Haha. It's easy to get around. People can't pintpoint where you're from. It's a great conversational piece and sets you apart from your regular blow hole Aussie bogun or American yobo. Which are the same thing. *chuckles*

American and Australian English. Two completely different continents with contrasting use of inflections and native slangs. I marvel at the way English has amalgamated over these few decades.

English truly is a work of art, don't you think?

Porn Storm

The Beautiful

Erin McNaught jeans A huge uproar over Miss Universe Australia Erin McNaught's recently published semi-nude to nude photos in the local mag Zoo Weekly is making for tabloid fodder in the Australian media circuit.

adrock2xander has been lapping all of them up.

I'm not denying it. Erin is not beautiful. She's pretty. Royally pretty and a dash of cute. Anyone who looks so pretty in just a casual tee shirt and jeans (left) must be worth some sleepless nights. I know i did (and lots of hand cleaning too).

There's talk in the local circles that Erin doesn't deserve the title and should be stripped of her crown. Afterall nude for a cheap men's magazine is so below the belt. Pfft.

Erin looking really hot So what exactly should an Australian model be these days? With the much harped-about Australian yokel fighting spirit? I honestly think nude pictures, if tastefully done, are alright. Nipples and bare bottoms are part and parcel of our society. The world is not averse to nude men either. I'd like to know who these naysayers are. One moment they're masturbating to porn flicks. The other they're lambasting Erin for not representing Australia's women in a good way. Hypocrisy has many layers it seems.

Now, i don't suppose a respectable model is supposed to fight for world peace and fight fires no? What's wrong with
nude pictures? 2004 winner Jennifer Hawkins didn't pose nude, but she was a cheerleader before fame caught up with her. Now why isn't cheerleading frowned upon? The Australian public is so fucking fickle minded. Isn't cheerleading selling your body too? Does cheerleading not involve scantily clad girls? It's just another regular gig that the girl enjoys. She probably gets paid for it. Get over it Aussies.

Erin enjoys modelling. She clearly has the looks for it. And she's abusing it to earn some money. She enjoys it. Men enjoy it. So what's the fuss here?

Erin posingWhy should a woman be ashamed of her beautiful body? A lithe and svelte body is the epitomy of health, sexiness and beauty. Had all women caved in to society's pressures there'll be no women for men and lesbians to ogle at right now.

The only ones who crying foul over exposed nipples and bare bottoms are old, fat and ugly women who're way past their prime, can't remember what an orgasm is and can't get sex even if they offered to pay.

Get over it Aussies. Whether she wins or not, she's flying the Australian flag. We should all be proud of it.

Pirates > Ninjas

The Beautiful

"Finally, a movie worth seeing over and over again" - Larry King

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

This movie in as many words as possible.

A movie based on a theme park ride. I'm speechless. First hour is a snore fest. Rest of movie: LMFAO.

Three Stooges!

Johnny Depp to win another Best Actor? I'll run around Bourke Street topless.

Keira Knightly in a corset, pushed up cleavage and all: Priceless.

Well worth your A$15.

Larry King boring me on CNN: gay.

Larry King watching a cheesy Hollywood popcorn summer flick: gay.

Perhaps this movie settles the thousand year old argument: pirates truly are better than ninjas.

Sunday, July 23

In Metroblogging Melbourne

The Misfit


Today, adrock2xander reveals and reviews one of Melbourne's best kept video game secrets.

Dungeon Crawl

Crawling in the Dungeon

Wednesday, July 19

What Colorful Language!

The Outrageous

Bush and Blair's conversation
"See, the irony is what they need to do is get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit and it's over."

So President Shrub made a
big boo boo on the microphone and copped a huge media outcry. Big whoop. This is the way regular folks like you and i talk. Shrub is a human being too. Off camera he's just another ordinary man with a family to feed, an ordinary job to return to and an ordinary portfolio of works.

I'm sure he farts and burps, pees with the toilet seat down, enjoys the missioanry position, leers at sexy women and masturbates to porn too.

Just like you and i.

Monday, July 17

It's A Family Affair

The Beautiful

Looks like the Wilson family's up to their annual brotherly joust again. In the Red corner we have the younger Wilson Luke starring in a
comedy with mean bitch Uma. In the Blue corner we have the older Owen starring in another comedy with another mean bitch Kate. Is it me or is there a common theme here? I smell a conspiracy.

Luke Wilson - My Super Ex-Girlfriend

Owen Wilson - You, Me and Dupree

Comedy runs in their blood? Or is this a work of art by their PR practitioners? You be the judge.

Friday, July 14

The Asian Prostitutes Persuasion

The Outrageous

So cheap and usually illegal Asian prostitutes in Australia are
stealing a march on local Australian prostitutes.

Now local Australian prostitutes are finding it difficult to earn money by opening their legs. Oh woe is them.

I blame the white men's obsession with Asian women for this weird phenomenon. Why anyone would find an Asian woman sexually alluring and attractive is completely beyond me.

Slant eyes, flat nose, no butt and a runway cleavage? Pass the peas please.

Thursday, July 13

Natalie Outbares Herself

The Beautiful

Natalie's bald pate! As hot Jewish girls come and go, Natalie Portman rears hers beautiful head when
she strips for the camera. Again.

Of course,
Closer did not warrant a completely nude Natalie. The final cut was passed without a nude Natalie in it. But this time it seems Natalie's hell bent on exposing not just her beauteous head (left), but also her even more beautiful body.

I don't care what the movie's about. I don't care what kind of torture she's subjected to. I don't care if she's into S&M. I've got front row tickets on opening day. Anything for Natalie's supple tits, lithe body and hairy bush.

Sheesh. The thought of watching a nude Natalie in the comfort of a cinema with horny men salivating all around me; you know what i think i'm gona have to pass on the front row bit. I'll buy the DVD instead and have Natalie all to myself.

Personal Computing Just Got Personal

The Misfit

I've become Mr PC Man in the last week.

Flushed with some funds, i've been sourcing for a brand new PC (yeah, fuck the Apple revolution!) and some games that i havn't had the opportunity to play in the last 5 years.

Specifications for my brand new PC varies, but i've roughly inscribed this in stone:

AMD Athlon x2 Dual Core 3800
Nvidia GeForce 7600GT
2 x 1024MB DDR2 RAM
19” WXGA with 8ms response

No doubt about it. I love my PC gaming. Throw a wireless keyboard and card into the fray and we're looking at a 'future-proof' PC that should equip me well for the next 5 years.

Games that i'm looking out for and will be purchasing include Command & Conquer: The First Decade, Titan Quest, Caesar IV and a game i've put off buying for many months now due to the pathetic performance of my Dell 2650, Football Manager 2006.

Tuesday, July 11

In Metroblogging Melbourne

The Misfit

Today, i wonder where you can find a loud Asian.

Where can you find a noisy Asian?

Friday, July 7

The Family Just Got Bigger!

The Misfit

This apartment, with an occupancy of 3, just got more crowded.

micheLe's sister, Crystal has arrived in Melbourne to pursue her Bachelors in Public Relations. Gavin's also Crystal's boyfriend. And Gavin and i go back to our Army days. It truly is quite a family affair.

But again, this apartment cannot accomodate 4 people. Someone has to go! By hook or by crook! Die! Muahahahaha.

Wednesday, July 5

Final Project perfecthaz-style. Co-starring adrock2xander.

The Outrageous

This is a video project perfecthaz and i did several weeks ago.

For perfecthaz aka Harry's final video project in Editing Media Text, he decided to do a FPS (first person shooter) parody. The rules were simple - edit together a short film representing a location that has some meaning to him. The catch? It can only be done with (and must include) two seperate continuous shots, seven still shots, 50 words or less and all packed in under two minutes. Needless to say, lol pwn3d.


The evil baddie btw, is me. Haha.

Hitting The Job Brick Wall

The Misfit

I've strong reasons to believe that my position as an Assitant Secretary in the City of Melbourne Council is detrimental to my application for casual jobs in the city.

The same resume and CV sans my Assistant Secretary gig triggers a quick response from my prospective employers, yet i get no reply from the other companies when i do it.

Is it so hard to believe this Asian's ass is good enough for minutes taking in the Melbourne Town Hall?

Fair go?

Tuesday, July 4

Own Worst Enemy

The Outrageous

I had the biggest fright of my life today.

Leaving for the gym at 6am this morning, the street was very quiet and deserted. I was walking towards the tram stop, huddled under my warm clothes with the street lights casting huge, long shadows all around me.

I wasn't paying too much attention to anything, apart from keeping warm in the winter cold. I must have spaced out for awhile, but when i came to my senses, i glanced to my left and there was this LONG UGLY MOTHER FUCKER that was just about to pounce on me.

I don't know why. But i started running.

Like 3-4 steps. Then i realised it was just my shadow.

Oh my god, the things we do to scare ourselves.

In Metroblogging Melbourne

The Misfit

Today, speak of my admiration of cabs and abhorrence of cars.

So it's cheaper/safer to take the cab then?

Sunday, July 2

The Crying Shame

The Outrageous

Wana know what's more sickening than a rich white man telling the world to clamp down on racism?

A bunch of adults sobbing on the football pitch after a
quarter-final elimination.

These footballers each earn in excess of £80,000 per week just for kicking a football; they're multi-millionaires over and over again and can buy anything and do everything. Yet here they are crying like a fucking jailbird.

I can't understand why they're crying. The English team has for years, under performed. Their elimination didn't surprise me. Overpaid footballers with egos the size of Mount Olympus crying on the pitch did.

Stupid retards. Money can buy you anything. Even the World Cup. Go home to your fat bank accounts, give oral pleasure to your Latin maid and act like a man for once.

What Does He Know?

The Outrageous

You know what sickens me? David Beckham reading out a short passage on the stamping out of racism before the quarter-final game between England and Portugal.

What the fuck does David know about racism? He's white, he's rich and the media laps up everything he does.

Only a person of non-Caucasoid origin will understand what racism is like.

Shut the fuck up David.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Subscribe to Posts [Atom]