Thursday, July 28

 
I Hate iPod
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I hate iPods...i mean...i really fuckin hate them...

If i could exact my anger and bitter childhood at one inanimate object in life this year...it'd be the iPod...

Anyone who spends more than 5 minutes in a public transport here in Melbourne would notice the recent surge in the number of people...who come in all sorts of sizes and professions...who plug into a white device the size of a deck of cards...

And as if that wasnt ostentatious enough...the number of losers who conform to the Apple idealism like to think that a large and oversized headphones you could hide 2 hamsters in seems to be the weapon of choice these days...as if the telltale white ones arent a dead giveaway...

And what's with the loud blarin music? I dont wana know how Eminem likes ejaculatin in his mom...i dont wana know why Slayer preaches death...i definitely dont wana question Britney Spears' choice of pop these days...

To keep up with the runaway consumer fetish that is the iPod...Melburnians subscribe to a theory that befuddles me completely...walkin around with 10,000 songs...includin 150 remixes of 'Hit Me Baby One More Time' and 299 tracks by Guns & Roses...in a thinly concealed marketin gimmick's a wonderful thing to do...

"Hey John...do you own an iPod?" Random Joe asks...

"Nah im too cool for an iPod...i have a Creative Zen Touch."

"Mate wtf are you on?"

"Mate wtf are YOU on?" i reply...

Riiiiiight...

There's a common quip amongst Melburnians..."Dont Conform"...it all started when the goths-inspired fashionista decided that people who walked around in jeans and tees were too bloody uncool...and anythin that conforms to society's expectations is deem too...well...conformist...so yeah im just gona give one back to all the Melburnians who gave me a glare when i proudly display my Zen Touch...

"Mate...dont conform!"

And the price...WTF? The price may have fallen...but who's seriously gona pay A$500+ for a deck of cards?

What with down and uploadin all the rage of the moment...the only losers are CD sales...i cant see any reason for casual music fans to shell out A$25 for a CD when the same price gets you a legit number of songs you'll actually enjoy listenin to...hands up to those who bought a CD just for one song...yeah...y'know who you are...

It's not fair...i spent a large part of my teenage allowance to build up the impressiive CD collection im proud of today...only to be humbled when a 12yo kid spends several hundred bucks to put my collection to shame...

It wasnt always like this...even when MP3 players were released...CDs were still popular among non-purists...but the Fruit Company had to spoil it all...yeah that's right...the Fruit Company...damn you!

Thank God some iPods afficionados know their sound systems...i may have dissed them earlier in this post...but kudos to those who've done away with the earphones supplied by the Fruit Company...ive had the displeasure of stuffin the overgrown white cotton buds into my ears once...and i must say i rather hear a high school rendition of Cats...the Fruit Company earphones are so pitifully shaped and built...the acoustic was atrocious and the bass sounded like a poundin jackhammer...iPods may have contributed to the decline of CDs...but somehow inadvertedly increased sales of good...DJ-quality headphones...

Just as ive done my whole life - not conformin to society's expectations...i refuse to become a Fruit Company zombie...if everyone's thumbin their MP3 player in a circular manner...i'll do it vertically (my Zen Touch)...if everyone's plugged into an expensive cotton bud...i'll do it with egg shells (my wrap-around Sony MDR series)...and damnit if everyone's podcastin with iPods...i'll fuckin do it with the hard way with my Zen...

iPod - the quintessential tech must-have for those not in the know.


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