Wednesday, June 30

I need love...

cuddle and a kiss
cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Wow this is fuckin accurate...right on the dot!

Black is in!

A huge power shutdown engulfed my entire estate into total darkness earlier...

I had just stepped out of the bathroom...towellin dry...when BAM! i couldnt see jack...first thing i thought..."Fuck what did my Mom do this time?"...but Dad had to spoil it all, "The whole estate's in darkness!"


I went to the window and screamed:

"Hello!"...a girl from the other block heard me...and replied "Hello!"

"I can hear you!"..."I can hear you too!"

"We're all gona die!"...*silence*

"The aliens have landed!"..."silence*

"It's Armageddon!"...*silence*

Stupid Singaporean...please learn some English and be more receptive to strangers...

To amuse myself while perspirin in the darkness i took a couple of pictures...LOL can you see those lights...that's a pic of the block facin mine...i guess they've got candles and torches...a full 100 meters away...

I pity the poor souls who were trapped in the lift...

Tuesday, June 29

Pack pack pack...

Preparin for a trip is a real hassle...a bloke livin in the tropics for 25 years...shippin to a temperate country for...ehm...the third time in his life? Warm clothin to pack...bare essentials to bring...

My after-work hours are spent makin sure ive everythin i need...last thing John needs is an emergency powder bath in the plane and...horrors of horrors...only realisin he's left his giant bottle of Johnson's powder in the main bag...


What's in a name?

So...there's this chick ive been gettin pretty intimate know how it is...incredible chemistry...intense insights on each others' life...and phonecalls that go waaaay past bedtime...

I think it must have been bout a week back...3am perhaps?...we're talkin bout sex (not havin sex mind you...)...when she totally threw me off with this question:

"So do you name your penis?"

WTF *guffaws*

Unfortunately ive never named my member...i never saw a need performs well beyond my expectations when needed...overperforms when not needed *ahem*...and sometimes underperforms when you most need one (LOL...)

Has anyone ever wondered why there are so many slang words/derogatory terms that refer to excretory functions...sexual acts...and the body parts involved? WHY do the animals at the very pinnacle of the food tree and evolutionary pyramid...feel the need to have so many ways to refer to such things? We have one or two words for...say...the television (google box) (automobile)...handphone (cellphone)...but a galactica of words to refer to sexual intercourse and its carnal cousins?

I wonder...why are some of the words that refer to our private parts and acts called dirty while others are not? The clinical terms arent seen as dirty...although they do make people shuffle in their wont hear them used on kids' shows...disregardin a fact that it's considered OK for kids to say them (which is the basis for the "Boys have a penis, Girls have a vagina" joke in the not very funny Kindergarten Cop )...there are 'baby talk' versions for the words that refer to excretory functions (poo-poo)...the rear end (tushie)...breasts (boobs) and the male organ (Curiously...not the female organ)

It's strange when you think to yaself...we're all comfortable saying and hearing them...and they can be used even in silly shows with little kids (strangely...i just cant get 'Kids say the darndest things' out of my head...Bill Cosby's really runnin out of ideas to make us laugh...)

Come to think of it...there are so many polite terms that are deemed 'appropriate'...just becoz it has child-like references...'use the powder room'...'take a dump'...'get it on with' and 'go to bed with' are also everyday terms that we've all taken for granted...if only the kids knew the sexual connotations that came along with some of those slangs lol...

Then...we have the so-called 'dirty words'...the ones that warrants as 'cursin' and 'swearin'...the onces that'll affect a network's ratings...the movie's age-rating...seriously what is wrong with the word 'Fuck'?? Why cant we use em in the office with uninhibited aplomb without riskin the consternation of the boss or a frown from fellow work-mates? So my potential Parents-In-Laws heard me usin the i still gona marry ya daughter?? Why punish 'lil kids when they use need to stand up for themselves too..."Fuck you *insert Big Bully's name here*...go pick on someone ya own size"...WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS?

How did these specific words get chosen from the many that refer to these intimate things as the ones that would be singled out as 'foul language'?...why is hearing those words shocking and upsetting to some people...when other words that describe the exact same things are ok?...why is talking dirty arousin...but substituting the or polite terms would NOT be arousing...even though they mean exactly the same thing?

Example: the word FUCK

Euphemism 1: "Fuck you, you sonuvabeetch you fuckin swine"
Meaning: "Im this close to hittin you"

Euphemism 2: "Oh god ya so hot i so wana fuck you right here right now"
Meaning: "I wana rip ya clothes off and take you on the spot"

Euphemism 3: "WTF"
Meaning: "Wow holy shit!"
Meaning: "Oh my God..."

Euphemism 4: "Dont fuck with me you cunt"
Meaning: "Dont mess with me"

Euphemism 5: "Damnit he fucked me up"
Meaning: "He betrayed/cheated/side-stepped/wasted me"

Euphemism 6: "Fuck off"
Meaning: "Go away"

Euphemism 7: "I fucked it up"
Meaning: "I screwed up"

I rest my case...

Btw...i told her that i named my dick Phillip...

Was it Phillip? me out my love...

Sunday, June 27

Inter-racial Part 1

Inter-racial datin and marriages have always been a huge deal and a interest to me...with the proliferation of media these days we get a lot more exposure to beautiful men and women around the world...ppl shallow Singaporeans dont get to see a lot of...till this day u still get Chinese Singaporeans who wouldnt date outside their race for reasons i'd get into later...and Singaporeans in general who cannot fathom why Black is Beautiful, White is Wonderful and Yellow is Yucky :)

Till this day i still continue to confuse and surprise greatest affairs are with women of Indian and mixed-parentage descent...most Chinese would stiffen at the sight of a beautiful Caucasian or Indian woman...they see them as unatainable...i like to see them as a challenge...afterall...they're the ppl i can most relate to...

Like most Singaporeans my a 2nd generation Chinese...unlike most parents hail from Malaysia...heck i was born there parents shipped to greener pastures in Singapore with an intent of makin a livin here...

We've all seen this before...from the Chinese in North America who left China to escape the war...Chinese being shipped to N.A to build railroads...yet regardless of their attempts to assimilate into their new society the Chinese have never been really succesful...

I believe i can relate to that...growin up in Singapore i was never fully comfortable with the Chinese population...i spent my formative years along Campbell Lane...which is right smack in the middle of Little India...i had more Indian neighbors and friends than gooks...which is just as much as i can say bout my racial preference...the Chinese in Singapore tend to be haughty...marryin within their race...and puttin up a nose to just bout every other race here just becoz they're the fuckin majority here...and they come with their own stereotypes...ive heard em all...

"Dont ever sit next to an Indian as they're smelly and dirty"...ok that's just utter hogwash...i cant speak for the Indian nationals who ply their trade as laborers here...but most Indians are modern...sophisticated...and speak English...cant say the same for the Chinese i hear the inability to speak English?

"Marryin a Malay means a change in religion...they marry young and they're stupid"...Oh really? Some of the smartest ppl i know happen to be Malays...yes they marry young...but who's to tell them what to do? If your religion doesnt advocate all means...a change in religion? Im not the biggest fan of that Muslim enforcement rulin...but hey it's just religion...millions of ppl around the world live their lives without a religion...growin old and dyin comfortably...a new religion wouldnt hurt would it? Malays here ape the niggers in fashion and street what's not to endear? Cant say the same for the Chinese i hear the inability to NOT conform?

"I cant marry or date an Eurasian/mixed-Asian parentage becoz my parents would not allow it" Eurasians in Singapore are generally a bunch of misunderstood peeps...when they first surfaced after WW2...y'know...Yanks/Stiff Upper-Lips/Nazis/Frenchies/Dutch/Egg Tarts settin up base camp in Phillippines, Thailand and Indonesia...they fuck a local girl...local girl gives birth to a hybrid...hybrid grows up with weird-ass features...they're ostracised...they cant relate...they're confused...and they're more than often VERY ATTRACTIVE (for obvious reasons)...Eurasians in Singapore tend to be very proud of 2 things...1) Their Asian-ness or 2) Their European-ness...ive never seen or known an Eurasian who has embraced both...dont bet on an Eurasian puttin his dollar on both when asked where his loyalty lies...a typical Chinese Singaporean wouldnt be able to put a finger to his inability to mix with them...why? Here's why:

1) They cant speak English
2) Their idea of beautiful is a Korean/Japanese/Taiwanese/Honkie with long straight tresses...impossibly fair complexion...large eyes and a petite physique...sorry...girls like these are a dime a dozen here...and besides...they cant speak English...
3) They feel threatened by the Caucasian/Indian/*insert weird parentage here* features...Chinese find these women incredibly beautiful...but due to hundreds of years of colonisation and media brain-washin these Chinese feel they're fuckin inferior to them...not too much the mixed-Asian parentage...but definitely the Caucasians...

Oh yes this is where it gets really on in Part 2...

Saturday, June 26


A weekend doesnt start off any better when ya fuckin bike gives up on you while ya peddlin hard home...fuckin tire's deflated...fuckin gone...fuckin wasted...and now my $2000 bike's a $2000 white elephant....

Im runnin dry on ideas and writin juices today...starin at the computer screen...watchin the Wade Robson Project on MTV...hmm...actually i think i should blog bout Wade himself...he's cool...

Weather's a real feelin hot and smelly again...

Wednesday, June 23


I read lots of poems, verses, rhymin couplets and lyrics...word play has an important role in my life...some times just to get a better understandin of the lyricist's pain...but most times tryin to find a relation between their multi-faceted lives and mine...

Here's a 'lil one that has gotten me hooked on the now defunct Ray almost brought a tear and a's just brilliant...i especially love the strummin of the guitar at the backgroud...increase the volume to listen to it...

Keepin up with appearances

So...somethin happened to Britney this week...big yay...i for most couldnt give a rat's ass bout her...but when tabloid fodder makes a big brouhaha over an injured cameraman...i thought i'll give my 2cents' worth...

I thought...since everyone knows how Britney looks...i might as well replace her pic with somethin ppl dont see here is how Britney COULD have looked:

Britney OMG she's hot!
So...thrashy tabloid of the day prints a story that goes...

"Britney Spears, her sister Jamie Lynn and her mom went to a Santa Monica, California, pet store over the weekend to buy a couple of puppies, and as always, the paparazzi followed their every move in full force. But according to one photographer, while Britney's mom was backing out of the parking lot, she hit him with her Toyota Scion."

Ok...there are some passions all men share...and one of em happen to be cars...unfortunately i never really got into cars...perhaps it was the whole 'payin more $ for 1.6L in Singapore when that could fetch you 2 Chevrolets in USA' thing...but i never really dug cars...until now my mates still rib me bout my inability to drive...yessss i dont drive...i dont have a driver's license and i think...becoz of different and special...and that's fine with me :)

But always...i digress...

So Brit's mom hits the cameraman...with a Toyota Scion...ok like ive professed...ive no fuckin clue bout cars...but a Toyota??? WTF...a Japanese make?? An Asian car??? God...when Britney earns millions a day just lookin sure she could have bought Mommy Dearest somethin more...ehm...eye-worthy?

Lookin the part and drivin the part now takes on a whole new meanin to me...

Ok...for Brit fans out there...just for's an obligatory pic of her:

Image Hosted by

Tuesday, June 22

Slow day

A day in the office can d-r-a-g on so slowly when ya sleep's not so much that ya just idlin around waitin for the bloody clock to strike 6pm...but when you've had only 2hrs 45 mins of sleep for the last 30 hours you just function at a methodical and deliberate pace...

Ive been infusin myself with a dose of Redoxen...some Vitamin C a day will tide me through the traumatic winter climate in Melby...dont wana get sick do i?'s only 10 days away now...i can almost breathe the cold air...

Monday, June 21


I stepped out of the house not realisin ive not splashed on my obligatory dose of cologne...i honestly dont remember the last time i committed a crime of this must have been at least 6 years...John without a fragrance?!?!!?! That's just unheard of...

Im more olfactory than visual...meaning i rather live without make-up than live without can get rather disturbin just obsessed with how i smell...i guess it's a DNA ive inherited from my metrosexual lifestyle...non of my family members are into scents...God I feel naked without fragrance.

Sunday, June 20

6 Years in the waitin...and...

...this is all they've to offer?

I've waited this long for the Beastie Boys' new record...and the very least King Adrock, MCA and Mike D could do was come up with somethin feasible and worth listenin's a far cry from their kooky and eclectic sounds-samplin Paul's Boutique days...not that im complainin bout old school rap...listenin to 5 Boroughs was like buyin a first class ticket back to Licensed to Ill...minus the chutzpah...

The Boys should take this album and shove it up the White House's the process of overdoin themselves i realise they're usin 5 Boroughs as some kind of propoganda bedlam...there's just too much political overtones...too much to ignore...but too little for fans out there...

And what happened to their signature sound? Where're the In Sound from the Way Out grooves? Dark beats of Ill Communication? Anti-Bush is fine...but when almost every song sounds the same...the Boys reowned word play just takes a side seat...

Im gona have a 'lil difficulty digestin the Boys' latest really quite'll take awhile for me to get past my gripes...

Saturday, June 19

Let's all cry to this song...coz i am...

Oh god...3 Doors Down's lyrics simply have an effect on me...they're singing bout MY life it seems...

He spends nights in California
watching the stars on the big screen
And then he lies awake and he wonders
Why can't that be me?

Cause in his life he's filled with all these good intentions,
He's left a lot of things
He'd rather not mention right now.
Just before he says good-night,
He looks up with a little smile at me and he says:

If I could be like that,
I would give anything.
Just to live one day
In those shoes.
If I could be like that
What would i do?
What would i do? Yeah

[Now in dreams we run]

She spends her days up in the North Park,
Watching the people as they pass.
And all she wants is just a little piece of this dream
Is that too much to ask?
With a safe home,
And a warm bed,
On a quiet little street.
All she wants is just that something to hold on to.
Thats all she needs. Yeah


Yeah, yeah, yeah,
oh, oh oh yeah
I'm falling into this,
in dreams, we run...away

Chorus x2

Falling in
I feel lost
falling in
to this, again

Friday, June 18

Birds of the same feather...

2 Feathers

...flock together...

Freshly scrubbed out of shower...Chinese men aint all barren no? *winks*

Thursday, June 17

The Olsen Twins!

The Twins As of last Sunday...June 13...wonder twins Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are legal adults...the girls will be able to vote and buy cigarettes...their 18th birthdays also mark the end of an era for the Olsen Twins Countdown Clocks...the Internet sites devoted to tracking the years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes and seconds until the former Full House-rs come of age. It also marks an end of my somewhat obsessive fascination with em for just over 15 months now...perhaps it's my paedophilic nature held in check?

Honestly I couldnt give a flyin fuck if they're legal now...they're waaaayyy beyond my testicular reach...the only thing that i cant fathom is the fact that these two 18yo ingenues are fuckin BILLIONAIRES. Heck even Britney Spears isnt a billionaire...

Well come to think of it at least Britney's been doin some serious work....tourin the world...comin out with records....and once every hour makin headline news on some thrashy tabloid...seriously wtf has the Olsen twins done to be given the distinguished honor of billionaires? All these senoras did was star in squalor type movies that cater to 10yo kids...

And to think i bust my fuckin ass off workin for an MNC....overworked and underpaid...

Wednesday, June 16

Im speechless

Ive been facin the monitor for a full 5 minutes...havin extreme difficulties findin words to describe how i ive decided...that this post shall be written with whatever comes to my head...

This is OFFICIALLY the biggest hogwash of the year...Singapore'smost ridiculous headlining news yet. No amount of hyperbolic rhetoric can express how strongly and vehemently i am against Singapore's latest decision that smacks of deluded common sense and unmitigated cruelty to Singapore's men.

No you didnt read wrongly...the implementation of this rule is downright detrimental to the morale of ALL Singaporean males who have completed National Service within the last 7 years...

We have all been cheated of 6 full months of our lives...i speak for myself...that's a full 6 months of verbal abuse from that fuckin Warrant Officer Gerry Sinari (i spit on you bitch...and btw your wife gave me good head last night)...6 full months of guard duty (what's there go guard in Singapore camps anyway...Singaporeans dont even care)...6 full months of the worse catered food ever...6 full months of sinnin when i say "Loyalty to country"...6 months of uninhibited anger that rages within me whenever i think of leavin the comforts of my home for camp...geeez i could go on forever...

The Government of Singapore must really hate their men...afterall where on Earth can you find men being discriminated purely for being a Homo-Sapien endowed with a penis...while the lesser sex goes on with their merry lives...completly ignorant of what goes on in the men's lives...pickin up slants of bigotry...afterall...where else can u find women who complain of their men's smell when these are the men who have just given up 2 years of their precious lives to entertain Mr XXXXXXXXXX's beck and call?? Let's see how you women feel when you've been entrenched in a hell hole for days or weeks at a stretch...and when the salty smell of freedom fills your get your fellow countrymen turnin away from you...shunnin you coz u smell...

I hereby decree that ALL Singaporean men who've completed 2.5 years of National Service be commended with benefits WORTH DOING 2.5 YEARS OF NATIONAL SERVICE FOR...not fringe mind you...when i say benefits they've better jolly well be fuckin bennies...for i gota tell ya...the current state of 'recognition' and 'benefits' we men get is just plain embarassin...XXXXXXXX had jolly well looked into this...the Singapore Army isnt the American Army...where soldiers sign up willingly to defend what they believe in...which is National Pride and Freedom...

National Pride in Singapore? LOL im sorry im embarassed to even introduce myself as one...fuck Singapore in times of war...i'll be the first to bail...Freedom? Yeah right in Singapore? 'nuff said...

Singapore sucks...and that's just being fair...

Evelyn's tale

So 'Well Scented' Evelyn and i exchanged this witty repartee late in the afternoon...ok maybe it isnt witty...but fuck that...Evelyn has a story to tell...

adrock2xander-15/6/04 3:16 PM >>>
you must be bored...been readin my blog lately? that should annoy to
end if you

gosh what do u want me to say...why dont u geme a call? Walk over to
Dzeti's desk..tell her to bugger off...and hog the phone....

While ya at it...can you please tell the chap who's usin the fax
machine to STOP tryin to fax an insertion order over...

So..watcha wearin Well Scented?

Im so trip to Melby's in just over 2 so
excited i dont even know how to blog it! Yay...snow....

Eve-6/15/04 3:51 PM >>>
but ive read ur blog. twice.
and yes i think u look fat.
a bit. like this much.
teeny weeny lil bit. moronic grin.
im bad at phones. i never say anything.
dzeti calls you the yo-yo wazzup boy. i think that's cute.
she's gotten ur insertion.
i'm wearing a lavender-coloured bra.
how long will you be in melbourne?
are u wearing blue underwear?
counting crows sang "accidentally in love" in shrek 2.
do u think it's possible to be accidentally in love?
frozen strawberries are my favourite.
i'm very disconnected today.
emotionally-absent too.
i think u'd look pretty in lingerie.
when are we going to sri lanka?
do u know that i'm terrified of men?
i run 8KM a day.
my thighs and calves beat yeti's.
i don't think i'm a dominant kisser.
but they say i can enchant and bedazzle
at the first kiss.
lucky bastard.

adrock2xander-15/6/04 4:20 PM >>>
Before i just gona say im addin your quirky 'lil reply to
my blog...that cracked me up so's like im lookin at you

LMFAO...Dzeti speaks like she knows me....ok i didnt ask for the color
of your underwear...though im glad i know now :-)

Im gona be in Melby from July 2 to July 12. My first trip out of
Singapore on my own...i tremble in fear *shudders*

Hey how did you guess?? i AM wearin blue underwear!! Blue Byford's one of my fave colors and design...

I absolutely love Counting Crows...their songs relate to me...Adam
Duritz's voice is so bloody good...

I dont subscribe to the mantra of 'Love at First Sight'...but
'Accidentally in Love' does sound like it could happen to anyone...even

Want me to feed you fruits after post-coital sex? :-O

What happened alrite there...i know ya not a phone
person...but u wana talk?

Well i think i'll look good in YOUR lingerie a G-String to

I understand it's the end of July...hehe im really lookin forward to
July...10 days in Melby...and a few days in the Indian
work? WHAT office work ?

Did some man frighten you again...gosh i dont see how you could be
afraid of them...most men would be intimidated by you!

Who's a lucky bastard? Me? I havnt kissed anyone for awhile

Eve-06/15/04 04:55PM >>>
ure goin on your own?
i did a book in school before, for literature.
which i slept through mostly.
it was called "walkabout"
an australian aborigine's rites of initiation.
your going solo reminded me of it.
would you come with me
when i decide to go somewhere?
i smelt your byford from here.
i usually have a smoke after post-coital.
a cigarette.
not Winky.
but either way. smirk.
i didnt smell it.
i just thought of blue underwear when i wrote about my lavender bra.
it also comes with matching knickers.
i feel like barney.
i love you you love me we are one big happy family.
nah. i dun talk. much. i like writing better.
i've got several G's to spare.
my arse may cover a continent, but i still think that you might face
some difficulty in putting my string on.
lucky bastard is the bastard who gets to bastard some kiss off of me.
future, that.
right now, i'm so celibate, i'm almost virginal.
last nite i dreamt
i asked someone to 'take me'
i cant remember whether the me in the dream meant
take me as in take me now god dammit!
or take me as in take me with you
and i cant remember
who i was talking to either.

i hope it wasnt a girl.

adrock2xander-06/15/04 05:15PM >>>

Yes im goin on my's a relatively cheap trip i reckon...puttin up at a gf of
lodgin yay!

You know i'll go if ive the'll be great to hang out with ya....the Sri Lanka trip shall
be a pre-cursor to that..

Nah i rather not smoke post-coital...i rather cuddle my partner after that...she can feed me
cigarettes and start a fire...a fire after our fire...hehe...

Barney rocks! i do a good impersonation of Barney...Sam Girl, Superman and AK love it...

Well as long as ya G-String isnt anythin like my mom's *guffaws* And no takin pictures! :)

Hey at least you had more recent sex than i do...if ya celibate and virginal...i must not even
know how a pussy looks like anymore...

Well what a pity if it was a deserve so much better...


Silly'll be fine...cant wait to see ya next month...:O

Monday, June 14

Absolut Hunk

Stumbled across this pic while trollin in some obscure Sex and the City forums...

*chuckles* This poor model is getting his panties in a bunch because Absolut improperly distributed this fake ad created for HBO's favorite dramedy...I dont really understand the need for the big brouhaha though... ive always believed that the more publicity the better...*coughs* me *coughs*

Then again...if size doesnt matter...i dont see how anyone...women or faggots alike...will be able to negotiate a dick this size...i mean...hello??

It's a crime...

Absolutely Bushed put on 1 inch on ya waist...consume fast food everyday...smoke 6 fags a day...and clock a passin time on ya 2.4km route...

Feelin fleet footed may have helped...the urge to shed those excess pounds...and dare i say my regular cyclin sessions have conditioned me...

But GOD AM I FAT OR WHAT? Even my perspiration looks fat!

On the bus

So i was on the bus this mornin...havin gotten up really late...on the wrong side of 8am...tryin to remove the remnants of my spotty M.A.C polish with tissue and polish remover...there's no fuckin way im gona go into office with a bad nail day...

The look i got from disbelievin peeps in the bus...simply classic...i wished i had brought my camera with me...

Sunday, June 13

Fancy a snog?

You have a dominant kiss- you take charge and make
sure your partner can feel it! Done artfully,
it can be very satisfactory if he/she is into
you playing the dominant role MEORW!

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

LMFAO...omg i am SO NOT a Dominant kisser! This is fucked! LOL...but oh well...i answered them truthfully...perhaps i really am!! *winks*

Sprite!! All i wanted was a Sprite!!

You know those check out counters in supermarkets that has the 'Express Lane' tagged above em like a halo on an angel? It sends out pulsatin signals to shoppers with 6 items or less to pay for...attractin them like pigs to truffles...yeah...that's right...attractin them...

I was in a supermarket at Thomson Plaza earlier in the day with only one thing in mind...1 fuckin ice cold Sprite...the weather was so bloody hot the shower i took just 15 minutes before after a mornin football game seemed like 15 hours ice cold everyone knows how it feels when it goes down ya throat...refreshin isnt it?

So i headed to the check out's a weekend family crowd....throngs of kids runnin around to the chagrin of most shoppers...couples shoppin for the perfect ingredient for that romantic dinner tonight...teens baskin in Summer Holidays idleness and just annoyin me to no end with their bad English...then it hit me...10 counters...each fully occupied with an increasingly impatient crowd with a HUGE trolley of groceries...waitin for their fuckin way was i gona wait through all that...

I headed to the 'Express Lane' and oh wow! these counters are manned by 2 disinterested ladies with 'excellent' customer service...and an entire train of shoppers....with considerably less groceries...but considerably more madness...

I mean...these supermarket managament peeps obviously arent doin their fuckin says 'Express Lane' it had better be fuckin express...i came...i saw...i liked...i wana pay...i see express...everyone likes i queue...

But no...i wait 10 minutes at 1 of the 'Express Lane' counters...only to realise the cute lady over at the Non-'Express Lane' with a huge shoppin list waitin for her turn behind an elderly couple with an even bigger list...had already paid and was leavin...

OMG...WTF is this...'Express Lane'...and i had to stand there...dealin with half-witted imbeciles fumblin with their loose change...searchin for their shoppin coupons...not havin enough credit in their cards...CANT THEY JUST DO THAT B4 THEY QUEUE???

I stepped out of Thomson Plaza...with a can of Sprite that was longer iced cold...a seethin discontent with Singapore's service...and a bloody headache from that old fogger with bad body odor standin behind me...

Thursday, June 10


It's been a long day at the office...OMFG it's 8pm...and im still stuck here...NOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooo....*voice trails off*

Neways here's somethin for my ardent fans out there...keep yaself amused for the next 5 minutes until my brain snaps out of lethargic and retarded mode...

A filler...but interestin nonetheless...

Can you guess which of the following are true and which are false?

1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button.
3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 years.
4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot
5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop, even your heart!
6. Only 7 per cent of the population are lefties.
7. Forty people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.
8. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until they are 2-6
years old.
9. The average person over 50 will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.
10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.
11. The average housefly lives for one month.
12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.
13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.
14. The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.
15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than any other time of day.
16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.
17. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search for water.
18. The only two animals tha! t can see behind themselves without turning
their heads are the rabbit and the parrot.
19. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer and a
Gentleman" and "Tootsie."
20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State anthem.
21. In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.
22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane,
just in case there is a crash.
23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can
for a carburetor.
24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth. They are used in vein transplant surgery.
25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th cousins.
26. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green.

They are all true....Now go back and think about #16

Wednesday, June 9

Piercings: Fashion victim or just clueless?

I've been toyin with the idea of gettin another piercin on my body for awhile it is i have 3 holes on my left earlobe and 2 on my right...5 orifices around my ears aint enough!

Body1Back when i my hey-days of beer-guzzlin-skippin-school-truancy-is-cool-smokin-at-void-decks...i had this crazy obsession with the tamperin of my body...ive read countless magazines of sane and insane homo-sapiens alike violatin their perfect body with intentional puncturin and bodily harm...some pictures depicted were almost gruesome...

So i embarked on my first ear-rape escapade on my 17th birthday...and i wasnt too cool bout it coz ive got one huge threshold for pain is inspite of the gradual agin of my body...ive never ventured beyond brutalizin my ears...i'll probably faint if my nipple's raped...LOL...

Body2The case is often made that body piercing is just another fad of the late 20th century...destined some day to be sitting sadly on the nostalgia shelf right beside Cross-Color jeans...retro music...Volkswagon Beetles and...heaven forbid...toe socks... and though it will surely earn me the scorn of the vast majority of the 'bod mod' community...i must agree.

Now before you start scrollin down my blog...with the sole purpose of huntin that elusive prey that is my email (no spam please!)...let me say that i count myself among the ranks of the die-hard and hardcore anti-establishment 'being normal is uncool' blokes...

Body3So the $64,000 question is...Why would an otherwise proper and perforated 'Anti-Establishment' lad dare to utter such an heretical comment? Who has given me the permission to so blasphemously desecrate his fellow tribes-mate? Well...ive always replied with characteristic my's either you know it and ensure everyone knows...or you STFU and be a is true that piercing has become a fad among growing segments of the young 'uns...nary a day goes by when you dont hear a parent screamin his head off when his 16yo child 'fashion victim' comes home with a silver trinklet hangin from rather obscure parts of his body...

Body4Tunin into my favorite channel...and 10 minutes into 'Made' i spy a multitude of mind-numbed...unsuitably attired...hopelessly decked out in passe tog...all conspicuosly sportin the currently 'acceptable' piercings on MTV...

Look around you...from shockinly ubiquitous shopping malls to restaurants with fucked up sportin piercings are most developed cities the paradin of barely pubescent piercing enthusiasts hits you almost like an afterthought...most of these kids are almost always clueless bout piercings...almost any event in their lives would trigger an inate urge to pierce their friend Jane got laid last night? "Let's get a nose ring!" dog Pee Pee gave birth to 5 puppies? "A tongue stud would so cool on us!" Geeezz...

Body5And 30 years down the road? "OMFG why did i fuckin pierce my fuckin *insert body part here* my fuckin *insert body part here* is gettin fuckin diseased and i cant do anythin bout it coz my stupid *insert event that triggered piercin 30 years back* childish mind thought it was really cool and now im sufferin and old and ugly and saggy nobody loves me everybody hates me..."

Ahhh...dont we just love the word 'regret'...

So...with one fell swoop...ive cast all of these hopelessly believin twats onto my 'passe' shelves...

Then it hits goin to get myself pierced within the next few weeks.... a fashion victim too...

Tuesday, June 8

This post is unrelated to the previous post - WARNING!! STRONG SEXUAL CONTENT!!

I have a confession to make. I have a fetish. A really kinky fetish. I love wearin women's lingerie.

If you have no wish to read bout my sexual fantasies or look at me differently the next time you see me...then read no further...I strongly suggest you seek parental consent if ya below 18 years of age...

Nothin beats the soft fabric rubbin against a man's skin...the fabric...made for the gentle, supple and freshly scented skin of a woman...when pulled over my not-so-gentle, strangely supple (thank you moisturisers!) and (more often than not) scented me the most incredible sexual turn on...

I find nothin more sexy than a woman orderin me to put on her (preferably worn...slightly sweaty...with a 'lil whiff of her pussy juice and aroma) undergarments...paradin in it...performin gravity-defyin acts with it to please her achin loins...and slowly masturbatin into it...

As it is im lucky to have dated women who were comfortable with Most women would think an attempt to act out such a perverse fetish would underline the man's masculinity...dressed in her lingerie...her fears of her man being a gay or transvestite MUST be put at ease... this are still readin...give yaself a pat on ya back...if you arent disgusted already...stricken me off ya list of friends...or have labelled me a pervert...i congratulate you...

Few mortals would be brave enough to write bout this...let alone in a public 2 cents' worth? What's wrong with admittin my fetish? Many men get their kicks out of makin love to women in stilletoes...dressed as *insert occupation here*...or just simply outdoor sex...

But remember...for all those closet cases out respectful of your women's wishes...look for a compromise that allows you to have something of what you want and for her to feel you are listenin to her...issues like these are a tad bit tricky...

To all those men out there with a closet fetish...i salute you...

Monday, June 7


LMFAO...omg THIS i have to share with everyone...

So...i came back home from a punishin route...i tried out a new route home...turns out there're too many upslopes and few downhills...i must've pushed meself too hard...i felt like throwin up when i got home...laid down in the dining area for bout 10 up...walked passed my Mom who was preparin dinner...trooped to the balcony for a breather...and guess what i saw????


Ok the picture doesnt justify the actual color and sexiness of the lingerie...neways...

I spun around and asked if we had an unannounced female guest at home...and joked if i had a sister i never knew i had...

Mom replied non-chalantly: "Boy it's mine...why do you ask?"


OMG...lingerie like these are not meant for my Mom...who's 20 years past her prime...20kilograms overweight...20 light years away from becomin a sexy woman...and 20 more menstrual cramps from her menopause...

I spent the next 10 minutes hecklin and makin fun of my Mom...her lingerie...and not failin to tell her how fuckin traumatised i was...MY EYES...MY POOR EYES...OMG...THE Mom in a lingerie fit for a sexy teen...

So i took a picture of this with an intention of bloggin it...and Mom had to make it worse...

"Hey that's a G-String alright...why are you takin a picture of it?"



My evenin is complete... :O

Sex with David Beckham

Ok that's it...i've held this to my chest for too long...for fear of arbitration...rejection...ostricization...seclusion...being thrown into the gas chamber together with Jews...hurded into a leper camp...i hope the world knows where im comin from...for every man worth his times like these...would succumb to delights like these...

I've slept with David Beckham...

David 1Like Rebecca Loos and Victoria tall, dark and slim. Together with my girlfriends I met David in a place called the Buddha Bar. I'd a bad run-in with my neightbor's cat 2 hours before...and i was feelin i got my girlfriends together and decided to hit the clubs for a night of wild abandonment...

Who's to know David was present at this opportune time? There he stood...all manly...golden...bronzed...finely textured like well-crafted Chinese noodles...sippin his Martini...he was with a couple of other 'distinguished' gentlemen...they must have been fellow footballers of Real Madrid FC...coz they're sitted in the most expensive area...with bulldogs of bodyguards all decked up in shades and mini-microphones millin around them...

Thank god my friend Maria knew one of David's after a brief group of girlfriends were ushered into the V.I.P area...but not after some very raunchy friskyin of my parts of my body was left 'unfrisked' was pretty tight it seems...not that i was complainin...

David turned out just the way i thought...rude...cocky...loud...unashamedly proud of the bastardised football club Manchester United FC...i gota tell ya...if he werent so David 2good lookin and rich...i would have been lookin elsewhere...besides...ive been hearin rumors of David being a legend in bed...i was anxious to debunk that myth...

Seducin David wasnt difficult...cuddlin up close to David was a no-brainer...holdin my breath every 15 seconds from the venomous breath of his was the real challenge...i had to constantly look away from his less endowed friends no less...for some respite...

So after some muckin around...the entire entourage headed to the hotel where David was puttin up...and David was asked to pick some of us to spend the night with...i stood there poutin my swollen lips and flaunted my assets...and before long i was under the sheets with David...thank god i had some breath mints in my bag...David sucked them with such aplomb...yet to my horror that was limited to mints...for all his strokin and suckin...he just couldnt get me interested and aroused..."What a night im in for..." I remember tellin myself...

David 3But not before i woke up in the mornin to find a fat cheque of US$10,000 on the bedside...with a note that said: "Tanks fo de sax. U wer veri good." GOD...not only can he not make love...he cant i know why he's earnin big bucks for just kickin a ball around...


On a more serious note, this is my 2 cent's worth on those women who claim to have slept with David. For starters...Rebecca Loos is a cross-eyed fuckhead who cant swallow a load as well as she cant drum up replies to Knock-Knock-Who's-There? jokes...women like her must be destroyed all costs....this vicious...calculatin...little tart is just another in a long line of media-savvy prostitutes attemptin to beseige the rich and famous (ok but since David's in Manchester United...ignore the famous...for Manchester United is nothin but a glorified conglomerate that cares nothin for football...only $$$$$$ matters...) for their own personal gain...

Of course...little Miss "Loos Lips" has no respect for the sanctity of marriage or any kind of appreciation for the consequences her ridiculous behaviour may have on her victims...point to note...has she ever taken a look at herself? In the mirrors to start off at the least? God she's DOG is Sarah Marbeck and every other sorry-ass buffoon i wouldnt shed a tear for...i couldnt give two hoots bout David Beckham or any other celebrity for that matter...but I cannot stand to see parasites use the media as a tool to whip up a campaign of scandal and lies just for a few minutes of fame...

Ive no doubt they're both calculatin...vindictive...back-stabbin 'lil bitches who would grossly exaggerate any dealings they had with Beckham in order to substantiate their claims...women like these must be stopped immediately...I strongly encourage anyone in a similar situation to use all legal avenues available to stop shameless attention-seeking (sounds like me lol...trouble-makin motards who persist in making malicious accusations from interfering with their lives...this shows how far society has gone downhill...I mean...can anyone take these women seriously?...even if their proposterous allegations contain any element of or both of them still had an affair with a married man...just a tad it not?...assumin the "Big Bad" Becks entirely responsible anyway...surely these women are adults and are therefore entirely responsible for their own actions...if any of it is true...perhaps they wouldve been more inclined to keep their mouths shut.

Somethin bout me that'll you'll laugh at...

It just occurred to me that i can no longer fit into the jeans im currently wearin...i cant fuckin button it fully...ive put on some girth around my as i speak my jeans are unbuttoned...but fully zipped...hahahaha....

God im fat...


Im feelin kinda lousy...

An office mate of mine has just told me that the GM isnt too satisfied with a particular work of mine...


Excuse me GM...has it ever occurred to you that a fuckin Balance Sheet is just bout the most tedious thing EVER...second only to child-bearin?? It's the first time i had to do a Balance Sheet...and it's a fuckin FULL PAGE Balance Sheet...not those teeny weeny A4 sized cretins...

Do you even realise how insufficient my PageMaker skills are...those fuckin guidelines do not show lines...regardless of it being drawn or da fuck was i suppose to know...

It's my first Balance Sheet...a huge one...and you dont cut me some slack...

Sunday, June 6

Wholesale changes to stomach

You dont realise how stone you look until you've smoked 10 fags in an hour and puked ya ass off from alcohol intoxication...

I feel inebriated...

On a side note some changes are in stall for all you rabid fans of mine out gettin kinda tired of my staid and dodgy look...

Saturday, June 5

I feel your pain Brad...

Breathe in right away,
Nothing seems to fill this place
I need this every time,
Take your lies get off my case
Some day I will find,
A love that flows through me like this
This will fall away, this will fall away

You're getting closer, to pushing me
Off of life's little edge
Cause I'm a loser
And sooner or later you know I'll be dead
You're getting closer, you're holding
the rope and taking the fall
Cause I'm a loser, I'm a loser, yeah

This is getting old,
I can't break these chains that I hold
My body's growing cold,
There's nothing left of this mind or my soul
Addiction needs a pacifier,
The buzz of this poison is taking me higher
This will fall away, this will fall away

You're getting closer, to pushing me
Off of life's little edge
Cause I'm a loser
And sooner or later you know I'll be dead
You're getting closer, you're holding
the rope and I'm taking the fall
Cause I'm a loser
Well I'm a loser

You're getting closer,
To pushing me off of life's little edge
Cause I'm a loser
And sooner or later you know I'll be dead
You're getting closer,
You're holding the rope and I'm taking the fall
Cause I'm a loser

You're getting closer,
To pushing me off of life's little edge
Cause I'm a loser
And sooner or later you know I'll be dead
You're getting closer,
you're holding the rope and I'm taking the fall
Cause I'm a loser

Thursday, June 3

Stoned Sarah

She turned away, what was she looking at?
She was a sour girl the day that she met me
Hey, what are you looking at?
She was a happy girl the day that she left me

What would you do?
What would you do if I follow you?
What would you do? I follow

Don't turn away, what are you looking at?
He was so happy on the day that he met her
Say, what are you looking at?
I was a superman, the looks are deceiving

The rollercoaster ride's a lonely one
I pay the ransom note to stop it from steaming
Hey, what are you looking at?
She was a teenage girl when she met me

What would you do?
What would you do if I follow you?
What would you do? I follow

What would you do?

The girl got reasons
They all got reasons

What would you do?

Hey, what are you looking at?
She was a happy girl the day that she left me
The day that she left me
The day that she left me
She was a happy girl the day that she left me
The day that she left me
The day that she left me
She was a happy girl the day that she left me

Miss Universe 2004 - the aftermath

Jennifer HawkinsI sit in stunned bewilderment as the credits for Miss Universe 2004 rolls on my simply stymmied...stupified...stumped...hang-dogged...knocked unconscious and rendered speechless...Miss Australia Jennifer Hawkins simply took the last sliver of breath i had away with a stunnin delivery of succinct poise...brilliant smiles...postured grace...her beautiful blue eyes had me eatin out of her hands...her bashful countenance ran rings around my beatin heart...for 2 hours i thought i had fallen in love...

Then there is Miss USA Shandi Finnessey who i took biggest fancy for a really long time...the American Beautiful Face Factory never fails to churn out amazing 'sunny-side up' girls from their conveyour know what i hair...BIG smile...Shandi Finnessey Shandi looks so bloody natural on stage...i had the opportunity to take a closer look at her when Miss USA 2004 was shown on TV over the weekend...she was the most outstandin girl and i had props on her to win...and she did...

Just when you thought natural beauty and big heart could get you anywhere...along came Miss Norway Kathrine Soerland...i thought i had completely lost my marbles when she appeared on stage...Kathrine is SO porn-star material! Piercin blue eyes...glowin blonde locks...intense Scandinavian beauty...when Kathrine took the stage for the swimsuit competition and twirled her little sash...i felt my boner pressin hard against my shorts...THIS CHICK IS HOT!! COMPLETELY FUCK-WORTHY!! A little peak into her portfolio and you realise Kathrine's a former Miss World semi-finalist. Back home she's a runway model and a TV-presenter...Kathrine Soerlandfor fuck's sakes...if you look like can do anything...

To sum it all up...ive decided to take a week's leave from over to Ecuador...muster what's left of my deflated ego and ask:

1) Miss Norway out for a good fuck
2) Miss USA out for a good date
3) Miss Australia to marry me

That's gona do that...stay tuned and keep your eyes on this page...

Tuesday, June 1

You are all below me!

Call me what you want...but im an elitist racist xenophobic homosexual fag who walks around with a huge middle finger...

Im fuckin sick and tired of tryin to be everyone's pet...being belittled and mocked to the point of submission...dont you ppl get it? I will NOTand NEVER conform to society's pressure and stereotype...a dress code in the office? Ok i'll come to work in shoes...but i'll be walkin around with black sandals and socks...women wear skirts? Fine...i'll wear skorts...who said only women put makeup on? Ive been slappin on expensive facial products and nail polish for as long as i can remember...

I dont get many ppl mistake my confidence for it my fault that i speak better English than the most of you? You ppl actually feel much to the point of beatin me up in High school, shunnin me in Polytechnic, isolatin me in Army and...for that motherfucker who sodomised me back when i was are a sad example of a human speak bad English...ya probably a car mechanic who marries an illiterate wife after servin time in prison for engagin in oral sex with a man...

Im a racist...yes i buddies geme stick for being a racist all day everyday...but i wouldnt fault them coz they've known me for years...i love black skinned women...i love olive-brown skinned women...i simply detest yellow skinned women...same culture women bore me...after the initial whirlwind courtship it's back to more borin Chinese cuisine and fuckin ugly kids with single eyelids, eyes that you can blindfold with a thread, flat noses and broad as hell faces which you can serve your dinner on...sue me got a problem? Get in line and go let that load of cum explode in ya dim-witted heads...

Im an elitist...yes i am...i choose my friends wouldnt see me hangin around with ppl who judge buddies? I know most of them used to judge me...i wouldnt mention names...but these years they've matured enough to see the real me...i dont hang around with ppl who speak bad English...i cannot have a conversation with them...we have no common interests...our lives dont intertwine and you bore me with your endless prattles on cars...prostitutes in Batam...F4 and what-nots...

Im a xenophobic...yes i am...i hate white fuckers who come to this country proclaimin this is their new country...act like they're the biggest twat around...walkin with that swagger...speakin with that accent...refusin to learn the local ways...stayin within your communities...thinkin that we Asians dont speak English...squirin our women...and earnin fat bucks doin JACK-SHIT nothin...

Im a homosexual...yes i am...i totally dig their idea of free love...i love their lifestyles...their drugged-up life...refusal to conform to Darwin's Evolutionary Theory...i cannot watch porn without a man in it...lesbian sex turns me off...dont know what Queer As Folk and Will & Grace is? HELLO??

Im a fag...yes i am...i paint my nails...L'Oreal's my best friend...tight tee-shirts make me happy...hangin out with gay ppl doesnt embarass me...i laugh when ppl call me faggot coz they dont know what they're missin out on...a whole new lifestyle that's not only wholesome and good fun (mind you im not gona fuck a man)...but it bothers on pushin the envelope of what the society can tolerate...which is SO what im hell bent on doin...rules and meant to be bent...just dont abuse them...

How engagin i am...aint i?


Crystal what you did wasnt too cool at did not go down well with me...i always thought i could tell you stuff...and being privy to my personal thoughts was a has nothin to do with me wantin it public...

Some friend you are...

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