Outrageous. Beautiful. Misfit.

Vote for an Oreo?

This is pretty amusin...the pollers must be really bored too...they've drawn a direct distinction between the way an ordinary folk eat an Oreo and vote...

What a relief

A good samaritan returned my lost wallet at 2.30am this mornin. Ive never felt more relief and heartfelt gratefulness.... and the number of times i said "Thank you so much.." and actually meaning it...

I'd just came back from Indulge's Day 1 of it's 3rd Anniversary Party at Lola...freshly scrubbed from a shower...i had the thought of insertin more Saatchi namecards into my wallet since i had given out quite a few throughout the course of the night...

Then it hit me...FUCKIN HELL...WHERE IS MY WALLET???

I distinctively remember comin out of the cab with it...since i removed $15 from it to pay the taxi driver...who was unusually polite :)

I was just bout to press the panic button when my cellphone went off...piercin the silence of the night...it was a number i didnt recognise...

Me (rather distraught): Hello?

Stranger: Hi...is this John Ng Xahn-da? (lol...i swear that's how he pronounced it...)

Me: Yes this is he...you are?

Stranger: I picked up your wallet...are u still around?

Me (wide-eyed): Oh! Where did you pick it up? Where are u?

Stranger: At the bus-stop...

Me: Where are u?

Stranger: Im in block 540...you are in block 535? That's not far...

Me: Yes yes...thank you so much for pickin it up...i was lookin for it...can u give me 10 minutes? What's your unit number? Your name is?

Stranger: My name is Rohman...#0X-XXX...please come soon as ive to sleep soon...

I must have did a Clarke Kent...coz i changed into a costume as quickly as u can say "Superman sucks"...with cellphone in hand i went straight to 540...half wonderin how fortunate i am...and what great mystery life is sometimes..

Turns out Rohman is a Chinese...his English is strangely quite accented though...not somethin ive heard before though...he was standin outside his flat with my wallet in hand...i took a quick glance into his flat...and saw his wife sittin in the couch smilin...

I couldnt thank Rohman enough...it wasnt the money i was concerned about...but the hassle of applyin for a new Identity Card...Teller cards...my Zouk card...

As i was walkin back home...it hit me...how on earth did Rohman find my cellphone number?
Perhaps it was my lethargy...but it took me awhile before i realised Rohman had found my namecards...a quick check with my Identity Card...and it doesnt take a poodle to put one and one together to figure out who John is...

My namecards saved me...

Q&A

A little bout me...

1. What are the first things that you do in the morning to start your day?
Hit snooze for the fourth time. Curse. Wish I was staying in bed.

2. What are the last things that you do at night before going to bed?
Brush teeth (if i remember...since im almost comatose from exhaustion), check alarm clock.

3. What daily routine have you recently added to your day?
Work, work. All 12 hours of it . 5 days a week.

4. What routine do you wish you could get rid of?
That's an easy one, commuting.

5. What's the one thing that makes you feel like something is missing if you don't do it some point within your day?
Even easier, ice tea with milk and a cigarette.

Sick

Check out this link...Good Grief

This is just sick shit some perverse white mind came up with while smokin a reefer after sex with a farm animal...

To think i was mindless enough to click on the gallery and the subsequent pictures...those poor kittens...

Virginity...or the lack of it...



The topic of virginity - 'should we save it for marriage?' was all the rage over the weekend...

A harmless weekend article on Sunday Times depictin the valiant efforts of several Singaporean couples choosin to remain celibate for their partners till marriage has caused a minor uproar amongst the different generations of people here...

The plethora of comments seem to be split firmly in 2 camps...those who strongly agree with abstinence...condemnin those who sow their seeds randomly...and those who strongly agree with pre-marital sex...findin reasons to justify their behavior...my allegiance lies with those who practice pre-marital sex...and for obvious reasons...i found myself laughin to no end when i read the reports of the couples...

Take...for example...Shahril Saleh's 3 years' relationship with Nur Idayu Mohamed...they've never kissed...the furthest they've gone is holdin each others' hands...on movie dates they limit their choices to mainly comedies as R(A) movies are out of the question...

Or Kevin Yan's 3 years' relationship with Michelle Lim...staunch Christians...they've vowed to remain virgins until they get married next year...when asked how he avoids temptation...he replies...as-a-matter-of-factly: "I dont just keep away from temptation. I try to flee from it." And he practices his sermons - 2 years ago when a nude scene came on halfway through the screenin of Gangs of New York...he and several of his friends walked out of the cinema...his partin shot? "Scenes like that arent good influence."

Im sorry...but i beg to differ...but before i continue...i would like to take this oppotunity to laugh at the 4 of them...4 pathetic souls...4 stupid blimeys...4 silly overgrown egos who think their faiths binds them together for a higher purpose...and finally...a big FUCK YOU...

I dont know why and how these ppl choose to live their lives...and i do not profess to be able to tell a stranger how to live his either...but one thing i do know...you lead only one life...the fruits of your labor will eventually be reaped...the bad will be damned...the good will be rewarded...yet somehow the notion of all this is seemingly lost on these ignorant fools...

I dont know who these ppl think they are...but they seem to graduate from the school of 'sex is bad and evil'...i find their behavior oppressive...misguidin ppl into appropriatin their lives into the hands of a higher power...tryin to inculcate this behavior to their fellow friends and colleagues...not once considerin their own beliefs...or are unknowingly subjected to ridiculous heckles behind their backs...

There's just no way one can control your sexual inhibitions when ya stripped down to your birthday suit with the one u absolutely adore...skin to skin...cheek to cheek...flesh to flesh...the warmth of your loved one rubbin against your genitals...im sorry...but you are a fuckin MOTARD (moron + retard) if you refuse sex...and walkin out of the cinema coz the scene depicts nudity just tells me ya an ignorant bigot...

Earlier this mornin on Class 95 the Flyin Dutchman and Rod Monteiro had a field day readin out several SMS and answerin phonecalls...i applauded their decision to talk bout this...it's a sore point of contention...many religious factions and pious individuals would squirm in their seats for one...but ultimately they'll be the one suffein..I...for one...would laugh at anyone who stoops so low as to 'preach' their faith...believin in celibacy...and that it's 'special' with your first one...

I do have several friends who still uphold their staunch beliefs on pre-marital sex...as their friend i do not laugh or judge...but as someone who comments on the side...i do shake my head and wonder why people would resort to the things they do...

Kristin!! OMFG...

This is one reason why millions of men go ga-ga over Smallville's Kristin Kreuk...in Battle.net speak...omfgggnorekkthnx...

Actually im just testin out the insertion of pix into my blog...still in the alpha stage...hehe...it'll get better i promise! :)

Tattoo



i helped myself to a tattoo on Saturday.

It's right above my right nipple...emblazoned across my chest...is the feather of the wing of the Angel of Redemption...and a drop of water at the end of the feather...representin what i am and will be...a drop of water...fillin up any containers...never a solid...a non-conformist...



It's a tattoo 7 years overdue...ive always harbored a desire to get one...initially for vanity's sakes...now for remembrance's sake...

For the last 2555 days (that's 7 years for ya) ive experienced the most mind-numbin...life-alterin...eye-openin...gut-wrenchin and tears-inducin period of my...indeed...any teen's life...in my twilight years...when Death descends upon me.. to steal my soul...i would have experienced so much...and have permanent marks and scars on me to remind me of my past deeds...rich rewards and life-alterin moments...

I wish to talk abit on the experience of gettin needles inscribed onto your flesh for abit...yes we've all heard the stories..."i liken it to an ant bite"..."it's tolerable pain"...yada yada...so much for all the yakkin...no better way then to experience it on ya own...

The NUS portal/newsletter Funkygrad.com had struck up a deal to interview some tattoo artistes from Rebirth Tattoos in Far East Plaza..in return for free publicity Rebirth would give a discounted tattoo to one of the crew...perhaps it has been the way my life has laid itself out for me...or perhaps it could be the chance to fulfill somethin ive been wantin to do...but i jumped on the deal when i heard bout it...

Note to self: Flesh tearin and searin pain... that's how i felt when the first needles punctured my deflowered skin...some neat stuff non-tattooed ppl wouldnt know:

1) Vaseline is used in vast quantities...my artist Oliver would wipe them onto the inflicted area...to provide lubrication...

2) An outline of the tattoo is drawn with 3 needles...i tell ya...that fuckin hurts...

3) Shadin and colorin involves 5 needles...it hurts less...but your skin turns numb due to the excessive colorin most tattoos involve...

4) Bleedin is common...my breast was bleedin for awhile...i had to wait it out to dry before i could put on my tee shirt...

And yes...the sayin 'Once u get one tattoo...you'll wana get another one" holds true...i do have intentions to mark myself again...Ive been admirin the tattoo for most of the day now...i dont see it as somethin i would live to regret over...rather...i look at it as somethin to constantly remind me of...what i used to be...what i am...and what i will become...

IS Editorial Test results...

Just checked my email...Sharon from IS magazine has gotten back to me finally...it's been like 3 weeks? Well it's good and bad news...but either way i look at it i can only profit from it...here's the mail:

'Hi John,

Sorry for the delay in getting back to you. We've been flat out on multiple
clashing deadlines.

I've read through your test. It's a good effort, with good writing and some
fab ideas. You definitely "get" and possess the I-S attitude in spades. Your
persistence in following up on the test (by bugging me) is also an asset.

HOWEVER, I have some issues:

1) Your test was sloppy. We all work under intense deadlines, but everyone
has to deliver clean, clear copy no matter what.

2) Your test is the equivalent of a story brief. You didn't complete
everything required in the brief, ie the story ideas section.

3) You project a certain snarkiness that you may not be aware of. Rubbing
people up the wrong way will not help you, or whoever you work for.

I'm telling you all this because I believe that you have a lot of talent,
but that you also need to know some issues that could potentially be
ingrained problems later on.

As for our intern situation, we STILL have no physical space to speak of, so
mid-April is still the earliest we can take on any new interns.

Give me a call.
Sharon Lim'

Im snarky? LOL...im just bout the most pleasant and mild mannered person anyone has come across...im gona hafta give her a call soon to iron things out hehe...

Being single...

I just found out...rather embarassingly...that a girl ive had a crush on lately is gettin married...

What a bummer...why do Singaporeans...or rather ppl in general...contract the marriage bug and pursue the forbidden fruit of marriage...solemnisin a formal emotional connection on a piece of paper...

But that's not my gripe...over the years ive read and heard alot bout how Singaporeans are findin it difficult to find a life partner...work and timie restricitions aside...i wonder how difficult it really is to meet and be attracted to someone of the opposite sex...

I mean...seriously...single women and men are out in full force day in day out...wakin up even before the break of dawn...trudgingly makin their way to work...mixin it up with the rush hour traffic...being in close physical proximity and contact with more single counterparts...drawin an imaginery circle around themselves...shuttin themselves from the ppl around them...

How many of them do actually look up and around...still harborin hopes of meetin their one true love...when their other half could potentially be standin right next to them?

It's a perplexin issue...most times it really isnt within our control...ive encountered so few examples where a reunion of man and woman is formed due to the most unpredictable of circumstances...it's even more glaringly amplified in the movies/novels/TV where we have handsome everyday John Smith meetin the Jane Doe girl-next-door...guy knocks into girl...girl drops everythin she's holdin onto the floor...both bend over apologetically to pick things up...look up into each other's eyes..and love blossoms there and then...

If only it were so easy in real life...then again i remember im in Singapore...and there's a reason why SDU exists...ha! the day i sign up for them...that'll be the day...

Ive been single for so long now...sometimes even the most mundane of women would interest me...can u believe that girl i had a crush on was a chinese? OMG...i should go get my brain checked...a complete CAT scan...perhaps pickin up the loose bolt that has fallen off my cranium...

I have a good job...a charming personality...pleasantly attractive...sufferin from no deficiencies or handicaps...yet im painfully single...

Oh well whoever said life was fair? I just hope i dont have to trade what i have now for a woman...that would be really blatantly unjustified unfair...

Dododo

Dododo...it's 8pm...and im still stuck in the office...dododo...advertisin world dododo...back in the office in 13 hours dododo...no lifer dododo...

Blog Update

Hi all...im pleasantly surprised to see my hit counts still steadily increasin over the weekend...my internet connection has been disconnected for bout 3 days now...no thanks to my Mom who has forgotten to pay the bills...

As such im accessin the Internet from office now...i have so much to tell y'all...the highlights of the weekend...especially the MTV Asian Music Awards...which i covered extensively...and a gazillion pictures...from the red carpet walkins to the backstage pics...i'll also be puttin up links and several more interestin add-ons to my blog ASAP...that is...once i get my internet connection up at home...grrrr...

Thank you for your support...

John gathers momentum...

My writin credentials officially went up a thousand notches today...

The CEO of Saatchi seems to be a genuinely likeable person...he's one helluva interestin bloke...i mean...he's got a ponytail....that's right up my alley hehe...he took me out for lunch...and we had a good conversation...chatted bout general stuff...i swear he's gay lol...

Turns out he's exactly the same as i am...school drop-out...loves writing...undecided at his life in his early 20s...until he found his callin in the advertisin field...he's a 'people's person'....hence we talked like we're friends...geeezzz....this guy's a CEO...probably earns 20G a month...and we're laughin at silly jokes over wanton mee and soya bean...

After lunch he came up to me and asked me to join a new project Saatchi has undertaken...it's a small project...but a huge deal to me...CISCO has hired Saatchi to come up with a newsletter...and the CEO has entrusted me to do the write up....omfg...im in dreamland...good thing ive to work with the designers and the copywriter....i can learn loads from them...

Just more of the same old same old...lots of learnin...and im still comin to terms with the Macintosh and PageMaker...it's really difficult to adjust...and im really afraid to make mistakes that i cannot rectify...in advertisin there's almost a zero tolerance for failure...

After work ive met up with the people of Funkygrad....these ppl are behind the NUS newsletter and website...i'd shown my interest in joinin their team several weeks' back...and i met up with them to show the 'Funkys' my portfolio...

One of the editorial staff Kelvin liked my work enough to offer me an assignment...topic's on tatoos in Singapore...i'll get to interview one of the owners of a tatoo parlor in Far East Plaza...and in return for free publicity i get to have a free tatoo done on myself...

Years ago i'd told myself i'll get a tatoo with my first f/t pay check...it looks like it's gona be a reality...with a twist :)

Im gona take a short 5 minutes check of myself before i fall asleep tonight...re-evaluatin my life in the last 48 hours...and what could possibly happen in the months to come...

These are indeed excitin times in John Ng Xander's life...

First day of work...bummers...

The pressures of the advertisin industry....ahhhh...we've all read..watched and heard about it...but how many live it? I did...and im a dead Duracell battery...

My first day in Saatchi...how sexy it sounds...the on-the-spot-job-offer...the surprisingly good pay for a fresh grad...and the sultry siren of a name in Saatchi...but yes it comes with some misgivings...i believe ive never utilised my adaptation skills to such a gruntmanship extent...i think i must have learnt PageMaker in Mac format in like half a day...ive never handled a Macintosh in my 25 years of miserable existence...the one-button mouse...the use of 'command' instead of CTRL...closing a page on the left....*cries*...'throwin one into the deep end' sufficiently described my day...

But yeah...there are some excellent tradeoffs too...the women in Saatchi are HOT..."Hello sunshine!"...and the staff is really friendly...amazing in the light of their hectic and pressurin environment...couple of them even came over and teased my diligent attitude on the first day of work....hmmmm...an inkling of things to come? Dont bet on it...

Ohhhhh...*stretches*...im so so tired...and i havnt even had dinner...fuck...another day ends...another day begins...

Job - Saatchi vs SiliconPlus

I'm an Account Executive for Saatchi & Saatchi....

Been a crazy day...too many things happened today...i wished i could tell it all in its entirety...but here's the gist:

7am - Left home for interview at Saatchi n Saatchi (sucky n sucky lol)

8am - Interview at Saatchi...which turned out to be a free 4 hour 'hands on' experience...

12pm - Left Saatchi office....bummed...which brought me to...

3pm - NUS...met Vowel Man to get my portfolio sorted out...

5pm - In Bugis for my 6:40pm interview at SiliconPlus...i was kinda lonely...and i thought of Crystal...so i called her...and for an hour we chatted...how gay...

6:30pm - Arrived at SiliconPlus...

7:30pm - Dilemma arrives...Saatchi offered me a post as an Account Executive...but they deal mostly with Classified Ads and bookings...which bores the shit out of me...SiliconPlus deals with Integrated Marketing...they produce websites...brochures...ads for banks...beers....toys...which excites me...

My beef is...Saatchi offered me the job on the spot...and i had till 12am to decide...whereas SiliconPlus liked me enough...but could only get back to me by Friday earliest....it was a case of 'Win all or Lose all' situation...my decision durin dinner time could greatly affect my career...i mean....WTF IT'S SAATCHI & SAATCHI...advertisin agencies dont get any bigger than this...if a fresh media grad needs a boost for his first career choice...u cant fuckin go wrong with Saatchi....and they want me...but...it's such a boring job....

SiliconPlus is a small name...most havnt heard of it...but the job is so excitin...i get to be involved with the creative side and most importantly...i get to write taglines and flex my writin prowess...but...they may not hire me...

So for 2 hours i was jugglin the pros and cons of each job...thank god for my media friends...a shoutout to Amy from MediaCorps...Stephanie from SIA and my dear editor Patricia for your helpful advice...

In the end the powerful name of Saatchi won me over...

Here's to the start of a borin but succesful career....

Technology and loved ones...

My good friend Gavin left for Melbourne this evening to pursue his Bachelors. In spite of my bad back...an old injury aggravated from a football game on Sunday...I was at the airport to send him off.

Gavin's entire family...which went down to his extended family was there to send him off...his gf and family were present too...for awhile i felt a pang of enviousness when i saw how close knit the entourage was...tears were shed freely when Gavin was about to leave...i was too impressed with the family setup to miss Gavin...but 5 hours into his flight...i do feel a tinge of sadness that he's left...

Which brings me to wonder...why do humans cry when a loved one leaves for a distant destination for an extended period of time...be it work or studies...but nary a holiday? Ive not seen anyone cry buckets when a family member leaves for a one-week trip to Timbuctoo...but mention a one-year furtherin of education and u get the whole Singapore media with clickin cameras and busy papparazzi...

I could understand ppl's angle...the whole 'missing him and not knowin how he is' part...yes im a human too...if my pet poodle left for Pluto i would miss him like no tomorrow...but with the advent of technology these days...and indeed the rapid ascension of electronic communication...your loved one is just one click, dial and a punch of a button away from a conversation...and did i mention how cheap it is to talk to John Smith half the world away?

One's argument is that no matter how integrated technology is into our lives...it can never replace the mere physical presence of that special someone...the laughter in Live! Surround Sound...the warmth of that touch...and just the general electricity one generates from being there...but i disagree...

The whole idea of email...cheap IDD phone rates...pictures from digicams, voice-communication and the likes is to simplify one's mode of communication...when i wana chill along the coast i call up Joyce for a live weather report from Marine Parade...when i crave some chocolates from Rome i press 5 on my speed dial to Julie for some good ol' aphrodisiac...if i miss my sexy crushee Edina livin it up in London i go on MSN...double click on her name and say 'HI'...need the latest update on American news? Who needs CNN when i have AOL and my whole Battle.net friends residin in San Francisco...Heck...if i need the latest Mango or Zara Spring/Summer collection i could probably get Lavina to send me the latest collection direct from Spain..

Yes i see detractors pointin out my flawed argument...but i must highlight one important issue which all 'We were cryin 10 hours ago coz John Smith left' fail to notice...upon reachin home the family awaits patiently for a phone call from John Smith...then logs on conveniently to have a conversation that has msgs received almost instantaneously...which precedes the quirky photographs John Smith has taken from his new dorm/apartment/workplace/environment...

So i ask myself...apart from literally having sex with John Smith...what else can the family not do and share? Has technology not progessed leaps and bounds over these 20 years to accomodate the feelings of lonely hearts and worried families? Why...may i ask...is there the need for the most solemn of moments...the emptyin of Kleenex paper towels...and the sore red-eyed look? Is there...given the dangerous climate these days...a possibility that he/she wouldnt come home in one piece? God punishes those who do bad...and good things befall those who do good...so unless John Smith had left for Munich to exchange the WMD-Bush-was-all-paranoid-about with some leftist Commies...rest assured...John Smith will return at your doorstep..in one piece...still loving you...and missing you...with gifts from his land...

Thank god for technology...now isnt that the best news anyone can hear?

Take care Gavin...God bless you...your family and friends miss you...

Beautiful

I've been teachin myself some HTML over the last few days...im determined to do up this dodgy blog of mine...it's as unpretty as John Kerry...i need a John Edwards...beautiful blog soon..

Ahhh!!! Stupid Singaporeans!! Fuck them all!!!

Apparently some companies are more desperate than the jobless ones out there...i just stumbled upon a company that has placed 2 different recruitment ads in Classifieds while i was callin companies up for interviews...

I mean cmon...2 ads for one company?? How hard up are you?...

The amazing thing was...this company...which deals with sales and advertisin...was subjected to an explosive outburst by yours truly...just 2 months ago i had gone for an interview in this company...my appointment was at 2.30pm...and i had arrived at 2.20pm...and for fuck sakes perhaps it was the number of interviewees...but i had to wait 2 hours to be called up...

Good thing i didnt wait for my turn...coz at 4.30pm i stood up...went up to the receptionist and roasted her for keepin interviewees at bay for such a lengthy period of time...lo and behold...it was my turn next...as the manager had just came out with an interviewee..the receptionist had turned green with embarassment...i mean...few people can talk me down...much less a chinese-speakin ah lian who speaks bad english...seekin the opportunity to redress the dire situation...for i was not just speakin for myself...but the 2-3 interviewees who've arrived just after me...i told the manager off forcefully...this isnt the way a company should be run...i can understand if you wana hire new recruits...but to be subjected to a 2 hour humiliation with retro music blarin from the hi fi and being stared at by clueless interviewees? Not me...

The manager turns out to be as meek as a mouse...im glad i told him off...

Im bugged by an issue....why can't Singaporeans speak up for themselves more often? WTF would they subject themselves to Patience and Tolerance 101 when a simple 'i must stand up for myself' would suffice...im fuckin sick and tired of lame Singaporeans givin the 'i dont wana be embarassed' reason...for fuck sakes WTF gives a fuck about you??? Everyone is out there tryin to get about with their daily lives...do you think they're gona sit and ponder bout 'that silly bloke who spilled his coffee on his shirt?'...are they gona join the stupid souls who queue up for hours to buy Toto/4D for a shot at wealth?? Who gives a fuck at the end of the day?

I blame ----- (edited) for this...communistic 'community before self Asian morals bullfuck crap' be damned...the education system here needs a total revamp...Singaporean children are taught at an early age to respect your elders and to put nationalistic and obscenely trite issues ahead of their own individual wants and aspirations...it's downright hypocrisy when u realise some people (ahem...) took a really long time to take a ---------- (edited) to augment the -------- ---------- (edited)....STOP BLAMING SARS AND WHAT NOT...you ------------------- (edited) need to take a reality check...

Listen to the youths of Singapore!! They have much to say! Listen!

We are street smart and know our bearings! Stop treatin us like kids!

Dont dictate our lives!

Money isnt everything! Stop danglin it in front of us when an Elections looms!

The 'Quitters' left Singapore for a reason!

The followin was edited too...but it involved badegerin and bleedin from an orifice...Alex's sufferin from Irreversible was tame compared to this...

--------- --------------------------- ------------------------- -------------------------------------------.

What is love?

"My love life is like a fashion show...You take a fuckin long time to prepare for the show...and it's over within 30 minutes...and what's left is the mountain of mess to clear..."

My good friend Priscilla was gripin to me for a good 2 hours earlier. She was comparin how her job as a fashion designer bears remarkable similarity to her love life.

I had the good sense to listen to Priscilla this evenin..it's been a good while since i spoke to her...besides Ken's friends came in the truckloads for a mahjong session...and mahjong...along with any chinese customs or practices BORES the shit out of me...heck...as i type they're still here...it's almost 2am!!! Get the fuck out of my parents' home lol....

Love is indeed complicated...some people spend their whole lives searchin for the special someone...others barely have to bat an eyelid to find their soulmates...the singles loathe to quote the affable 'Love at first sight' phenomenon...yet lovebirds continue to baffle naysayers and critics alike...what with Valentine's Day around the corner...ubiquitous advertisin and horrendous price increment of everyday flowers and set meals seems to be the order of the day...much to the chagrin of the broken-hearted and singles out there....public declaration of love for the lovebirds seems likely to continue...

Just what is love anyway? In 1997's Addicted to Love...Maggie, played by the lovely Meg Ryan explained to Matthew Broderick's character Sam what love is..."When i was a kid, my father had this dog. It started to go weak and sickly, so we took it to the vet. Apparently maggots have laid eggs in the dog's butt. There's nothin the vet could do as the maggots have crawled up and will eat the dog alive inside out. It's a dead dog anyway. My father took the dog home, puts in on the bed, and started to reach inside the dog. It took him all night to pick out the maggots with his fingers one by one. The dog outlived my father."

Well im not a champion of love myself...but Maggie's example was hardly over-the-top...but how often do we witness such selfless love? Ive seen too many relationships disintegrate over the course of time...the teenagers proclaimin empty vows of love when they're barely out of their nanny's aprons...the young lonely adults seekin companionship...and the 'Long Service Awards' for couples who've dated forever...all guilty of forsakin a promise to be with their other half...promises of givin and not expectin a return...only for the hope and love to be reciprocated with hurt..silence and ignorance...

Love is a beautiful thing...millions of people around the world attempt the 'Lover's Walk' everyday...yet there's always a reason for abandonin such a beautiful creation...i believe a breakup...irregardless of how it's judged or worth...always strengthens someone...there's always somethin you can learn out of a relationship...

It's funny how i can write and rant bout love and the basement bargains you get out of it...yet be such a hopeless fruitcake when it comes to love myself...i cant even begin to think bout all the endless lonely nights i spend with myself...talkin to myself...encouragin myself...somehow wishin i had that special someone to share my emotions, hopes and aspirations...it's strange how almost all my ex-girlfriends somehow leave the country...Reina left without a word for Japan after our acrimonious breakup...Lavina took flight for greener pastures in the Canary Islands...i must be a talisman for abandonment...

People do think bout their ex-other halves....some of them in spades....some in minute amounts...i think bout Reina and Lavina alot...last i heard Reina's just quit her air-stewarin job for somethin 'interestin' in Japan...and Lavina's married to the son of a millionaire lappin up every Spanish sight and sound...

Selfless love, hoping for love and givin up love...love just comes in all forms of embodiment...

To my ex-loves...my heart still goes out to you...

Screwed

This is just hilarious...someone uses this as his signature...'You know the world is getting screwed, when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the Swiss hold the American Cup, France is accusing the US of arrogance, and Germany doesn't want to go to war.'

Gah HTML newbie!!

Ok this sucks...im sick and tired of browsin through a stranger's beautiful blog that comes eqipped with music...movin pictures and flashin lights...it's like a home that's prepared for a nuclear war...residents just have to seal themselves in coz the home is self-sufficient...my blog wouldnt even survive a direct confrontation against a skunk...

Im not askin for much...but i think my blog needs some fancy artworks...grrr...HTML's just alien to me...

Beef: A post-mortem...

Hehe...this is cool...im sittin in front of Terence's computer with Danny Tenaglia's Global Underground: Athens groovin my ass in the background...

Dinner at Terence's place was eh...ehm...meaty affair...lots of beef..beef and more beef...cabbages and mushrooms complete the fare...scrumptious to say the least...

Rudy surprised me totally when he wished me a Happy Birthday...wata hell? How did he know?? Im totally clueless...im not one to walk around with a tee shirt emblazoned with 'I am 25 today' across the front...oh well while those bozos are out punching the PS2 buttons to death i have sole exclusivity to a computer for awhile...might as well make full use of it...

Damn Danny T's mix is good...

25

I turn 25 today...

I didnt even realise it until 2 hours into my new age...i must have been in Jay's car while careenin the empty roads to Jalan Kayu...

Another year to my age...a year less to live...more responsibilities to handle...some of my friends are married...some are holdin jobs...some are still studyin...some are comin home...

Im bout to embark on my career...at the turn of 2004 i told myself this was the year i carved a career out for myself...my wish list for 2004:

1) Write for a publishing house...
2) Establish deeper ties with friends...
3) Should my writin career not take off...find a job that pays enough so i'll never look at $10 the same way again...ive been broke for too long...

Nothin fanciful...just another day in life of John Ng Xander...