Monday, March 27
Fat People
The Misfit
I hate fat people. They're inconsiderate.
On my way to uni last morning week, i was presented with the oasis of an empty seat in a packed tram. We all know what it's like in rush hour traffic. Everyone's trying to save the world and the world ends tomorrow. So like what every other civic-conscious Melburnian would do, i sat down. Fuck the old fogies, the handicapped or the pregnants. I saw the seat first.
That was my big mistake numero uno. Mistake number two was not standing up and leave.
You see, i'd sat next to this fat excuse of a human being. For the entire journey i was hanging half my posterior off the seat. If i had sat on the inside against the window, i would have been squashed. Why go to the mosh pit when you have first-hand experience in the tram?
It hasn't been a good week for me and fat people. Last weekend at work i had a fat supervisor loafing around with her boobs hanging by her hips. Now it's a fat bloke acting like it's our fault that the seats aren't big enough.
There should be a fat form of public transport. A fat tram. A fat bus. A fat train. Skinny people (read: regular sized please, no upsize) like you and i will get on the regular bus. Where regular folks sit as and when they please. Without the fear of an uncomfortable buttock.
Them fat people won't just get on a fat vehicle. The vehicle has to be specially equipped and reinforced to accomodate fat people. You see, fat people have special needs. They think that it's the whole world's fault that everything isn't a McMansion, a McBook or a McToiletSeat. Why not just upsize everything when you're presented with an orgy of sizes in a supermarket? Why buy a 600ml apple juice when a 2 liter juice sits next to it? Why the 75ml yogurt when the 230ml yogurt's in the upper shelf? We already have large cars, large clothes and larger-than life personalities. Heck, we have blokes who're into fat porn.
To make the fat people's journey more exciting, the fat vehicle will be equipped with a 50inch big screen tv showing Australia's The Biggest Loser. On reruns. With highlights. On a side note, does anyone think that the host needs to lose some weight too?
Come to think of it, we're surrounded by fat people. We just choose to filter them out from our peripheral vision. Fat people are ungainly. Mostly, they smell. And they obscure our vision. They take up too much space.
Fat people are also really lucky. When they travel on a plane, they pay the same price as a skinny bloke like me on Economy class. What the fuck? Shouldn't they pay twice the price? Or thrice the price? Perhaps airlines should start charging excess body weight instead of excess baggage weight. That would ease the load of planes and potential delays with luggage.
And if you're really unlucky, you're seated next to a fat person on a direct flight to Los Angeles from Sydney. Fuck. The fat person's ass on your seat. You can't move as the pretty lady sitting next to you is fast asleep. What do you do? Don't even get me started if the fat person farts.
Skinny people should start standing for themselves. I say we start a movement to educate skinny people on their rights. For far too long fat people have had too many priveleges that only skinny people should have. Why must we pay 50 cents more for a large fries and Coke when we can't finish the meal itself? Why can't we reduce the price of the meal by 50 cents if we choose to DOWNsize the meal?
Why is everyone buying SUVs and MPVs when the family consists only of Father, Mother, Son and Dog? Whatever happened to the small cars that are road friendly and do not burn a hole in your wallet?
The world needs less fat people. I'm not asking for a diabolical change. It's not finding W.M.D in Iraq. It's just fat people.
The Misfit
I hate fat people. They're inconsiderate.
On my way to uni last morning week, i was presented with the oasis of an empty seat in a packed tram. We all know what it's like in rush hour traffic. Everyone's trying to save the world and the world ends tomorrow. So like what every other civic-conscious Melburnian would do, i sat down. Fuck the old fogies, the handicapped or the pregnants. I saw the seat first.
That was my big mistake numero uno. Mistake number two was not standing up and leave.
You see, i'd sat next to this fat excuse of a human being. For the entire journey i was hanging half my posterior off the seat. If i had sat on the inside against the window, i would have been squashed. Why go to the mosh pit when you have first-hand experience in the tram?
It hasn't been a good week for me and fat people. Last weekend at work i had a fat supervisor loafing around with her boobs hanging by her hips. Now it's a fat bloke acting like it's our fault that the seats aren't big enough.
There should be a fat form of public transport. A fat tram. A fat bus. A fat train. Skinny people (read: regular sized please, no upsize) like you and i will get on the regular bus. Where regular folks sit as and when they please. Without the fear of an uncomfortable buttock.
Them fat people won't just get on a fat vehicle. The vehicle has to be specially equipped and reinforced to accomodate fat people. You see, fat people have special needs. They think that it's the whole world's fault that everything isn't a McMansion, a McBook or a McToiletSeat. Why not just upsize everything when you're presented with an orgy of sizes in a supermarket? Why buy a 600ml apple juice when a 2 liter juice sits next to it? Why the 75ml yogurt when the 230ml yogurt's in the upper shelf? We already have large cars, large clothes and larger-than life personalities. Heck, we have blokes who're into fat porn.
To make the fat people's journey more exciting, the fat vehicle will be equipped with a 50inch big screen tv showing Australia's The Biggest Loser. On reruns. With highlights. On a side note, does anyone think that the host needs to lose some weight too?
Come to think of it, we're surrounded by fat people. We just choose to filter them out from our peripheral vision. Fat people are ungainly. Mostly, they smell. And they obscure our vision. They take up too much space.
Fat people are also really lucky. When they travel on a plane, they pay the same price as a skinny bloke like me on Economy class. What the fuck? Shouldn't they pay twice the price? Or thrice the price? Perhaps airlines should start charging excess body weight instead of excess baggage weight. That would ease the load of planes and potential delays with luggage.
And if you're really unlucky, you're seated next to a fat person on a direct flight to Los Angeles from Sydney. Fuck. The fat person's ass on your seat. You can't move as the pretty lady sitting next to you is fast asleep. What do you do? Don't even get me started if the fat person farts.
Skinny people should start standing for themselves. I say we start a movement to educate skinny people on their rights. For far too long fat people have had too many priveleges that only skinny people should have. Why must we pay 50 cents more for a large fries and Coke when we can't finish the meal itself? Why can't we reduce the price of the meal by 50 cents if we choose to DOWNsize the meal?
Why is everyone buying SUVs and MPVs when the family consists only of Father, Mother, Son and Dog? Whatever happened to the small cars that are road friendly and do not burn a hole in your wallet?
The world needs less fat people. I'm not asking for a diabolical change. It's not finding W.M.D in Iraq. It's just fat people.
Comments:
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Key term there is PEOPLE you retard.
And don't even get me started on those skinny tooth pick mother fuckers. Always crying about this or that. "Oh the fat people". Apparently those skinny shits don;t have enough real work to do so they sit around writing in blogs about how they had to interact with people in the real world and just except them for who they are... because it's not like you did (or can do) a damn thing about it. Wow, sucks to be a whiny little powerless cunt like you. No wonder you cry so much.
And don't even get me started on those skinny tooth pick mother fuckers. Always crying about this or that. "Oh the fat people". Apparently those skinny shits don;t have enough real work to do so they sit around writing in blogs about how they had to interact with people in the real world and just except them for who they are... because it's not like you did (or can do) a damn thing about it. Wow, sucks to be a whiny little powerless cunt like you. No wonder you cry so much.
I find it very sad that you have no life so you have to write blogs about fat people which reminds me fat is a doposit under the skin that consists of lipids so find a different word to call them. So instead of complaining about the person sitting next to you taking up half the seat how about next time you get off your lazy ass and let someone that is greatful to have a seat have it. Your inconsiderate of other people and your just plain ridiculous and rude. There are larger people that have to pay for two seats on a plane because they take up to much space how do you think that makes people feel when the airline tells them they have to get two seats or they can't fly because they weigh to much. Oh thats right you don't care about anyone but yourself you self centered peice of shit. Losing weight isn't easy for everyone it's even harder for women too because of the hormone imbalance. So instead of complaining about larger people why not complain about something of importance.
A seperate train for larger people thats a horrible idea but if your going to complain about being on the same train then why don't you walk to wherever your going I mean since your obviously skinny enough to complain about large people then i'm sure you'll be able to walk long distances.
Quit your bitching.
A seperate train for larger people thats a horrible idea but if your going to complain about being on the same train then why don't you walk to wherever your going I mean since your obviously skinny enough to complain about large people then i'm sure you'll be able to walk long distances.
Quit your bitching.
I agree completely. Fat people are too much in the way.
And it's not hard to lose weight. You just do it. Weak-minded idiots.
(I know from experience)
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And it's not hard to lose weight. You just do it. Weak-minded idiots.
(I know from experience)
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