Wednesday, April 19

 
Tom Cruise Is Mad

The Outrageous



It's official. Mr Cruise is loco. He's a gay, vodka-loving cannibal.

Not only is he still in denial about his sexuality, his artificially inseminated sperm has produced a baby girl with a dodgy Hebrew name.

Suri? Is that the female version of Yuri? Is Scientology really a Russian coverup for another nuclear bomb operation?

Of course, to further prove that he is indeed the father and straight, Mr Cruise intends to cannibalise on the baby's placenta.

The poor girl. She'll grow up tall and awkward with a closet fondness for pussy.


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