Monday, November 28

 
My Fat Aunt/Granny Wants To Have Sex With Me!!

I'd taken a rare afternoon at home to slip an afternoon nap into my itinerary...micheLe had taken the family out to do some shoppin before they left Melbourne...i believe i'd done my part in the last two weeks...being the unofficial tour guide...the responsible road navigator...and the sensible boyfriend...

So while everyone's out along Sydney Road buyin their wares...i slipped into bed and popped in a
Futurama Season 1 DVD...after 2 episodes of laughin at Bender's antics i dozed off and fell into one wacky dream...

Y'know how dreams are always said to be an extension of your darkest thoughts...researchers have made correlations to the state of your mind to the kind of dreams you made...im bringin this up coz in my dream...my spouse had just passed away...and my fat aunt or grandmother took the opportunity to profess her unrequited desire for me...not only did she want to marry me...she wants to have sex with me right there right now...i remember in the dream...i was so terrified i started fightin with her...and in my exasperation i'd used a Jim Beam bottle like a cudgel and killed her with a mighty blow to the side of her head...

This was followed by a massive cover-up operation...i was decidin whether to chop her up into pieces or carry her massive body out into the car and dump her into the sea...

At this point i was woken up by the sheer silliness of the dream...it was frightenin enough to wake me from my slumber...

And while i sat in the bed wonderin at the dream's remarkable similarities to Desperate Housewives...the bell rang...

The family's home...

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