Friday, June 3

 
John Woo? Nah...I'll Pass...
adrock2xander is 4 months 4 days without a cigarette.

It happened right after dinner...i have been sittin in the lounge for an hour with my laptop and a plate of carbonara...im tradin in eBay...and everythin's fine and dandy...Australia's SBS foreign film was on...and i was lookin forward to a cool Italian or German flick...but no...i had the terrible opportunity to sit through a large part of what was a John Woo movie made 19 years ago...

Yeah yeah i know John's like acclaimed and all respected in the Hollywood industry...but fuck them...if they only knew what John did to movies and the way he seemingly enthralled Asian viewers back then...John wouldnt be the hero he is today with Tinseltown action movies...

I cant believe of all the fuckin movies SBS had to show as a foreign film...they had to show a fuckin low-brow Chinese action movie that made the American Pie series look serious...i mean...check out the title:


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If that's not cheesy enough...i dont know what is...i mean...HEROES SHED NO TEARS? Wtf was John smokin? From start to finish...i had to put up with lotsa Chinese and some other actors of Asian origin shootin blanks...throwin fake grenades...lame-ass pyrotechnics blowin up everywhere...and exaggerated deaths...WTF? If i needed a reason to remind me why i hate everythin Asian...this must be one of them...even Westerns made 50 years ago werent so bad...god im so embarassed...

And the credits...WTF? 'Special Guest Stars: ABC French actor and XYZ American actress'...damn it was so funny i actually forgot their names...back in the days of old China...(where Caucasians were still a fascination...oh wait...Caucasians are still a fascination for most Asians)...anythin that had a Caucasian name to it just made it look more glamorous...but who the fuck are those 2 actors? And that French actor got to fuck one of the Asian chicks! Wowee! Oh and did i forget the big hair and bloody bad actin?

If the movie havnt had the John Woo tag to it...it could have passed off as another cheesy run-of-the-mill-straight-to-videos-and-obscurity Asian movie...

Can you believe this is the same bloke who made fine actions flicks such as Broken Arrow and Face/Off? Im not convinced it's the same John Woo...it's gona be another bloke who uses John Woo as an alias...

Unless John uses Paris Hilton as his lead...now that i will not complain...

Hmmm...


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