Wednesday, June 22

 
Dear Tom,
adrock2xander is 4 months 23 days without a cigarette.
Profitting BIG TIME through eBay: 191 days left.


This is a letter written by someone from the other side of the Pacific...you see...i heard of ya squirtin incident over the local Channel Nine news...and i was appalled at the way you handled the incident...as a media student/advocate i believe it is only right the media properly portrays you as i dont think you have been presented in the right way...

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You see Tom...you and i both know it...you just dont wana admit to it...you've had 2 previously high-profile failed marriages...they didnt work out...so what did you do? Got into a state of greed and went on the Spanish Inquisition...but that too didnt work out...and in the middle of all these relationships...you went around adoptin kids and callin them ya 'own'...ive been watchin ya movies since the late 80s...and never once did you ever have ya own child...are you gay? Are you fuckin gay? Or just impotent? You cant father kids with 3 beautiful woman who took up over a decade of ya midgeted life? Stop lyin to the media and ya fans...no amount of fist-pumpin and jumpin on couches is gona save you when the news breaks out...Oprah isnt gona give you a show either...

Ya PR advisers sit you down and decide on the next big tabloid story...what do you do? Get hitched with a chick who towers over you...mate she makes the Eye of Sauron look like a sissy..if that tower could see all things...Kate's lookin at the dandruff in ya scalp right now...either get some growth hormone tablets or lose the chick...she deserves someone better i.e taller (read: me)...

So the squirtin incident pisses you off? May i ask why? Mate you ARE gay...facial cumshots shouldnt be surprisin to you...and definitely not worth a "You're a jerk" response...

Oh and while im at it? I do not appreciate the lack of vocabulary either... “You’re a jerk ... jerk ... you’re a jerk.”? Cmon...that was so cruise control...


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