Friday, November 5
It happened last week...
The end of a really long week finally came around...and i'd decided to head on down to megamall Takashimaya for some alone time...shoppin...and checkin out what's hot in the fashion...literary and music front...workin can really sap your energy and resolve...and i was determined to keep away from the manic hustle-n-bustle...some solitude and idle moments...stompin around with my lovely blondie Stefanie...everyone needs their personal time...i was havin mine...
So i was in the gents...takin a bladder-relievin piss in the urinal...when this bloke swaggered to the urinal next to mine...unzipped his pants and whipped out his schlong like it was the Weapons of Mass Destruction the Bush administration was lookin for...
Out of the corner of my eye...i spied the bloke next to me glancin over into my urinal non-chalantly...like it was the most casual thing to do...somethin you do everyday after you get out of bed...
Almost leanin over...he casually asked me..."Would it be OK if i ask you a question?"
"WTF... " i thought...
For all the women out there and weird minority of men who don’t pee standing up...here's an interestin bite-sized info...in general...talkin to strangers while peein is a breach of men’s washroom etiquette...a proper men washroom etiquette dictates that...while peein...one remains silent...with eyes locked onto the imaginary spot on the wall directly in front of one’s face...hands locked by ya side...one holdin ya weener to direct the jet-propelled stream of waste water...and the other to hold ya unzipped pants up...
Now there is a reason why God invented stalls in the washroom...so when men decide to take a piss or crap...they neednt have to worry bout pryin eyes from their neighbor who's doin the same thing (God forbid...masturbatin in a public place)...
Truth be told i'd always thought the walls that seperate the men from one stall from another is like a row of picket fences...it's just there to look pretty...but it doesnt serve its purpose as a fence...it's easy for same-sex offenders to stand on the toilet bowl and peep into the next stall...
But i digress...
I was almost mortified to have this total stranger talkin to me while im fuckin takin a piss...doesnt this guy memorize the washroom etiquette?? For fuck's sake...it's weird enough to have a guy leanin over to check me out...it's even weirder to be asked a question in such a vulnerable position...
Not wantin to sound rude or to piss him off ...i quipped with some wary:
"Yeah?"
"Im sorry...but i cant help but notice that you've shaved off all your pubes..."
My alarm bells were goin off like crazy...my first instinct was to fuckin tell him off...but i realized the uniqueness of the situation...immediately recognizin the blogworthiness of the incident...composed myself and assured him that my pubes were indeed all shaven...i gently added that it really isnt any of his business to ask or care...
The bloke smiled...thanked me and walked away...
Wonderin aloud with punctuated WTFs...i watched him as he washed his hands with soap...dried them with paper towels and stepped out of the washroom...
It's not that im sittin on a bed of nails with men checkin out my manhood...beer belly or not...im very comfortable with my sexuality...and more often than not you'll see me walkin around in my birthday suit in public bathrooms...what's there to hide anyway?
Dont like my excess foreskin? Go fuck yaself...
Got a thing for shaved genitals? Im not gay...fuck off...
Is it me or does this happen to most men? Do you get weird people askin you weirder things while ya fuckin peein? Gosh...i gota tell ya...ive been around a lot...nothin much fazes me...but i cant seem to trivialize this issue...it's been 5 whole days...yet all i could think about was to blog it...
Perhaps i just needed to get it out of my chest...
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