Outrageous. Beautiful. Misfit.

A bike and contact lens story

So i cycled to work today...felt great...sweated buckets...loved how good i looked when im all sweaty...women dig that...yummy...

So i cycled home later...sweat was gettin into my right eye...my left hand went up to dry it...somehow my finger had a strange attraction to my contact lens...and shifted it...i blinked once...and to my horror i found ive lost my vision in my right eye...it's happened many times...and every time i find my contact had slipped into the nether region of my eye...but there's always this strange lingerin feelin of doubt...that the contact had popped out...and there's no way i would ever find it again...

So i cycled to the gas station...parked my bike next to the toilet...removed my bike gloves...washed my hands...and tried pryin my right eyelid open...fuck for the first time i panicked...i couldnt even see the contact anywhere...so i blinked...

And i blinked...

And i blinked more...

And i felt a sharp sting in my eye...

*Sigh of relief* Fuck the contact's still in my eye! *to the tunes of Backstreet Boy's crap-fest of a song 'Quit Playing Games With My Heart'* Quit playin games with my eye!

A combination of dextrous blinkin and finger shovin that's all callous and rough after years of contact lens dislodgin finally brough my contact back to it's intended position...

FFS...contact lenses pisses me off...