Tuesday, October 5

 
American Idol fever hits Singapore!



The finalists of American Idol 3 arrived in Singapore over the weekend to perform in a one-night only concert for celebrity-starved Singaporeans...big whoop...i can now sit back and laugh at all the morons who've devoted the last 2 years of their lives followin a bunch of bathroom singers with record deals aspirations...honestly...for all it's big hoohaa...ive not sat down and watched an entire episode of any American Idol episodes...i honestly believe that goin up on air...live on national TV...sellin a package that reeks of fake and goody-2-shoes is one personality faux pas too many...

Im not even gona start writin on how lame the whole American Idol wave has plagued nations world-wide...wow is there no other way to become famous? Yay...im gona get on air...sing some lame songs that's penned by some artists who's past their sell-by dates...get into the last 20 (or 12...watever)...my hair's done by the stylist...my wardrobe's decided by the fashion guru...and wadya know...whether i qualify into the last 5 (?) or not depends on my fuckin skin color and the desperate finger punchin skills of mobile text messaging....

So...yay...im in the last 3...so what? As much as i hate watchin American Idol and all it's lame spawns...i make it a point to educate my pop culture awareness...and after some in-depth studyin...ive realised that the final 3 in every American Idol is a racial propoganda...look:

1) In American Idol 1...the last 3 were all whites...the media slammed the producers for protrayin the American demographics in a wrong light...the producers stayed indoors for awhile...plottin their revenge...

2) In American Idol 2...the last 3 were a big fat nigger...a skinny red neck...and some other person i couldnt give a flyin fuck about...wow the producers were really affected...

3) In American Idol 3...the producers took the racial propoganda a step further...and somehow got a nigger chick with big lips...a white girl who's dawg ugly...and a chink tryin real hard to look pretty with a flower in her hair...wow...


What next in American Idol 4? *Gasps* No whites in the last 3? 2 niggers and 1 chink? Nawwww....we'll see...

So...the finalists are here...and in an interview conducted by the Singapore press...the finalists revealed that they had no idea where Singapore was before they arrived...all they knew was "it's somewhere on the other side of the world"...hey stupid American fucks...i dont care how much you know bout your own country and how you think USA is the whole word...or how much you despise Canadians...but here's where Singapore is:



Now...let's do a close up:



Scroll your eyes right to the bottom of the map...right smack in the middle...see where that line connects 'S-I-N-G-A-P-O-R-E' to? Damn right! You dont say! That's Singapore!

It's strange how the finalists are makin Singapore the final stop outside of their gruellin 50-cities U.S and Canadian summer tour...ridiculous...49 other cities in their tour...and they could take time off to feed their bulgin pockets to travel half the world to pacify their screamin legion of fans here? Something's amiss i tell ya...there must be a catch...perhaps one of Singapore's Presidential interns in the White House is givin good lovin to President Bush as we speak...i dont know...*shrugs*

God forbid...the American Idol fever that threatens to take over the world would not continue for another 2 seasons...i just cant see how this cookie-cutter strategy to shell money out of parents' purses so as to fuel their children's music collection would help their daily livelihood...as it is...there're more important issues in U.S.A right now...the Kerry vs Bush show and the hurricanes' devastation of the East Coast come to mind...

Americans...and to a lesser extent...people around the world...i beseech you...please give Idol fever a borin bat of the eyelid...and live your life...fo sho...you dont want me to laugh myself silly when i catch you on the telly no?

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