Wednesday, April 28

 
2 Stupid White Men

So here i was this mornin...sittin along the flight of stairs at the ground floor...right outside the entrance to my company...smokin with my 2 Account Directors Petrina and Viko. The 2 ladies have this uncanny habit of bummin cigarettes from me...it's becomin a habit now...not that im complainin...the 2 ladies are very attractive...speak excellent English...and for all their world-weary age that borders on 35...they dont look a day past 27...we get along just fine...Petrina shares the same passion with me...and that is dance music...week ins week outs...she'll be so kind enough to invite me for events that celebrate Singapore's best in local jocks...Viko shares the same idealism with me...and that is...live life for the moment...fuck the world...and grab the oppotunity when it beckons...on top of that...she's also a huge Buffy fan...

But i digress...

Our office is located right smack in the middle of a touristy area...so tourists lookin lost are a common sight...so there we were...3 happy peeps...suckin the life out of our fags...when what do i spy with my little eye? 2 rather lost Caucasians...wanderin around the blocks...what ensues is somethin that bothers on pure absurdity...

The 2 men...noticin Petrina and Viko (i dont supposed they noticed me first...unless.....) lookin the pretty part...attempted to hit on them...millin around us for a good minute...they finally mustered enough courage to...well...let's just say...a very pathetic attempt to get into the pants of 2 intelligent and independant women...not that i mind...i would have tried sellin the ladies to the highest bidder...but what pissed me off was how the 2 Caucasians started the conversation...

"Hi do you speak English?"

OMG....so here they are...askin The Prince of English and Fine Arts of English Appreciation with a fervant passion for MTV and popular culture...with 2 Account Directors for company...questionin OUR ability to speak our lingua fraca? I wished someone had dropped an anvil on both of them...i would have spat on the carcass and fed them to the dogs...

Almost immediately...my smile turned into a scowl...

I shot back.

"What kind of question is that...of coz we speak English." I had almost wanted to end that with a line that i've always wanted to use on ignorant and bigoted red necks who think White Supremacy is the Final Solution...but i checked when Petrina hushed me...Viko was so totally ignorin them...we were talkin bout Buffy and it's supreme greatness...

The 2 men turned out to be New Zealanders...they're here on holiday...and were 'askin' if the pub directly opposite us was open to the public...

"Is the bar open?"

Stupid White MenWTF is this guy on? He smokin somethin im not? Coz whatever he's smokin...i dont want it ever!! The bar's SO fuckin closed...in fact...it's in various stages of undress coz renovations were gona be done! And those renovations were for all to see!!

My raging anger was fueled by his lame ass attempt to start a conversation...a clever retort.

"WTF do you think it looks like? It's fuckin closed." Petrina kept poking me to STFU up...but i was incensed...

The 2 men shot me a quizical look that almost said 'Wow this gook can speak English! Woah! And he said fuck! Man and he speaks it without any grammatical errors!'

Resigned to another day without a warm Asian pussy...the 2 men sat on the edge of the wall...not 5 feet away from me...that was another invitation from me to tell em that they've barked up the wrong tree....

Lookin at the first bloke..."Wow...dude that's a cool tee shirt you have there." This guy's tee shirt was so fuckin lame...it had somethin that went 'Sex is cool or somethin'...

The 2nd guy pressed his hands against his tee shirt to iron out the creases..."Who, me?"

LMFAO...what a retard...

To all the white guys out there who think ya better than me...FUCK OFF...go home to your farms where goats are waitin to be milked and surround yaselves with more bigoted reasoning...the only 1 good thing that came out from you guys is also the one thing that i admire...coz u guys come from a land where the Government doesnt control your movement...not being told to make fuckin babies or taught how to date...you are not being tracked or traced...and there's free speech and rights...

It's a fair trade off...i am smart but restricted...you are stupid but free...

Fuck off Jew...

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