Friday, December 19

 
THE TOILET BOWL INCIDENT and LEEDS' REVIVAL

Another week has gone by....and oh boy what a week!! A week of many firsts...when i stepped out of home yesterday mornin for Sunday football it was the first time in 6 days that ive actually left the comforts of my humble abode....terrible weather not withstandin my illness kept me cooped in the home snugglin under 3 sweaters and a giant blanket...

Somethin good came out of those 6 days though...i was so sick i felt no compulsion to take a bloody cigarette at any one time...it was only after the comsumption of some very poor kaya-and-butter roti and an iced milo did i pop a fawkin stick into my mouth....then again...i cant tell u how comfortin it feels to have those first puffs again...it's like the old girl u've always had sex with....it's borin and dull...but u know it always satisfies u LOL....

Then there was the football...our old friend Jay's back from his studies in Brisbane....everyone seems to have the money to study overseas these days...sometimes i can only shake my head at my family's financial problems and leer at my friends in enviousness....

I felt really dead durin the football session...imagine gettin all worked up after 6 days of inactivity...

Then there's the absolutely hilarious shit episode in Rudy's place....headed to his place for a shower before returnin to Terence's place for afternoon gaming....i had the intention to take a dump since i left home in the mornin...i havnt taken a dump for 6 days....lol...i mean...ive been sick so many days i hardly ate anythin...Rudy warned me bout the faulty flushin system...i had suggested usin his washin area toilet...but it would be too incvonvenient...besides...i wanted a read his fawkin 8Days while i shat...

And shower...and shat i did...i cleaned my ass...stood up...reached out for the large silver button that activates the flushin system....and all hell broke loose....the water level started rising...my shit started rising...the toilet paper started swirling...it looked like the giant whirlpool of frosty chocolate...i raised my eye in horror...half wantin to run out coz it looked like it was gona spill over...then...silence...

The water just stagnated...before gradually decreasin in level...all this time BRINGING THE SHIT ALONG THE JOURNEY...NOT FLUSHIN IT DOWN AS IT SHOULD....

Panickin...i ran to the kitchen..grabbed a pail...did what every handy man would do...and filled it up with water...and decided to FORCE FLUSH it...and i made it worse....the water now takes even longer to drain...and the whirlpool of shit was beginning to smell...YOU DO NOT WANA SMELL SHIT THAT'S BEEN ON THE SURFACE FOR MORE THAN 15 MINUTES!!! health hazard....somebody should stick a health hazard sticker on all toilets after this...jesus...

So it was shit vs John for a good 20 minutes...until i gave up...i decided to scoop the shit...yes..MY SHIT...with plastic bags...Rudy our friendly neighborhood hero has gamely decided to stay in his room...preferrin NOT to come out while i tackle the...eh...crisis...thank god he's got many plastic bags that came in handy...so i rolled up my invisible sleeves....i was still clad in the towel u see...and got down to scooping shit out....WARNING: SCOOPING SHIT CAN LEAD TO HEALTH PROBLEMS AND POTENTIAL NIGHTMARES...i dont know if i can sleep tonight...

On a good note...i just watched my beloved Leeds play the game of their lives...a last minute header by Dominic Matteo gave us a 3-2 win...ive not watched a game of such magnitude for a really long time...i mean...the nervousness...the tension...the shouts of whoop...and moans of disappointment...and the ecstatic glee of winning the game...i will never forget Eddie Gray's smile when the final whistle was blown....Leeds are a good team...we're not goin down just becoz of some short-sighted business dealings by the previous management...WE WILL STAY UP....

I shall now turn in...gettin a bad headache now....sports in the mornin...games in the afternoon and late nights dont cut it for me now...gettin old....till we meet again...

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