Friday, December 19

 
GRANDMAs. HOKKIEN and SURVIVOR 7


My dad told me some pretty grave news just after dinner today...turns out my Grandma....that's my dad's mom for ya...so that makes her my paternal Grandma for those not in the loop...has been admitted into hospital...

I raise my eyebrow whenever my Grandma gets treatment from the doctors...she's like 75(?)...but she looks half her age...very strong and healthy...as far as im concerned old, frail and fragile just arent words i would associate my Grandma with...

Strangely enough though...im barely concerned bout my Grandma...im almost 25...and she's in the twilight of her life...i think i can count with the fingers on my hands the number of times ive spoken to her....thing is....she doesnt speak a word of English....and her Mandarin's not too good...Hokkien's all she can speak...as for me...English's my modus operandi...my Mandarin's laugh-a-minute (u dont wana hear me speak it)...and ive never given 2 hoots bout learnin Hokkien as ive always associated Hokkien (and any Chinese dialects for the matter) with gangster language....blame my 4 years of traumatic high school time for it...i was the constant bane of the school bullies....they liked pickin on me coz i spoke good English...the way i walked...the silly things i did to the Girl Guides (??!!)...forgive me but can anyone fill me in on the Guides part?? I dont remember doin anytin to them....John's a LOSER back then hello????

Neways...back to the Grandma part...i dont think i'll be too distressed or shed a tear if Grandma dies...whenever she comes over for visits our conversations are reduced to "Hi how are you?", "Have u eaten?", "When are u goin back to Malaysia?" and crude pick me ups....

Im always green with envy whenever i look at my Caucasian counterparts who cry buckets whenever their Grandpops or Mops pass away....ive never seen ONE Caucasian elderly NOT SPEAK the common language from wherever their grandkids are from...ive watched countless movies and TV serials depictin cute blonde hair blue-eyed kids sittin on the Grandies laps...chattin away till it's time for bed....ive never had that....

I can understand why the Caucasians cry and grief over the death of someone close...the day my Grandma dies...my other 3 Grandies have passed away a long time ago...u can bet your last dollar how flustered i was when they died....i will go for her funeral...but im not gona be cryin one bit...i'll be there to comfort my Dad...he's told me many stories of how Grandma took pains to raise my Dad...who was a really naugthy kid....guess who picked up his traits LOL....

Still not convinced of the Caucasians' fondness of their Grandies? The most infamous and recent example would be Survivor 7...now i know many of u have given up on Survivor...before u speak let me tell u how much i loathe Survivor myself....after Survivor Africa i thought..."Fuck...everythin is the same and it's just a bad rehash of the same old...same old..."....geme The Amazing Race anyday...but oh boy it was one of those gloomy Friday nights when jobless poor me...plonkin himself in front of the TV found himself glued to the last 5(?) episodes of Survivor 7...and all i can is it's riveting!!! Kudos to the producers of Survivor who've come up with new ways of makin Survivor really interestin...i dont wana go into details...but this year's Survivor has so many twists and turns...

But i digress...anyone who's watched Survivor 7 would remember 3rd placed contestant Jon schemed, lied, plotted and bitched his way to infamy...in fact he's one of the reasons why millions around the world picked up Survivor 7...the incredible 'Grandma is dead' ploy is so god damn convincin...even host Jeff Probst was moved to tears when Jon's good friend arrived with the bad news....

However it turned out to be the greatest lie ever told on CBS (that's the network that screens Survivor mind u:>)...Jon got his time away from the survivors...and shot himself to infamy...

Now many of us who dont speak the same language as your Grandies would be moved by that incident?? I could understand where the Caucasians and Asians-who-speak-the-same-language-as-Grandies come from...but for the rest of us....it's just another day....

As for me...im resigned to another week without a job...

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