Saturday, November 15

 
I LOVE MYSELF

Yes...what can i say...i'm a narcissistic ethnocentric debonair who loves spendin time in front of the mirror and posin gamely for the papparazzi who hounds me to death...i love the attention!!! The papparazzi loves me!! They cant get enough of me!! I want them to know who im datin now, how drunk i look in a club and what choice of soda i drink!!! I want to appear in the next issue of Vogue!!! I make Zoolander's flashy stunts look schoolyard...I declare that im in the list of 2004 Teen People Magazine 50 Sexiest People...if not i shall sleep my way to the top!!! Women love me!! They cant get enough of me!! I've slept my way around to get to where i am (which sadly, doesnt amount to much...i obviously have been sleepin with the wrong people)...so what's a few more??? The spotlight focuses on me when im introduced by David Letterman and it shall stay on me!! Letterman loves me so much that he even comes up with "10 Reasons why John Ng Xander must run for President"...People shall clap and cheer for me!!! Women will throw their underwear when i appear on the red carpet for the Oscars, Emmys and Grammys even though im not an actor or musician!!! It's mass hysteria when im introduced as the special guest of the Late Show with Conan O'Brien...producers want me to cut an album not becoz i can sing, but purely becoz i ooze sex appeal...i shall stay on numero uno on BillBoard Top 100 for 26 weeks, eclipsing any rubbish 50 Cents or 3 Dollar Bill (that's Limp Bizkit's first album btw)...i shall become SOOOO FAMOUS AND POPULAR that Japanese folks paste my pictures OVER DAVID BECKHAM'S UBIQUITOUS ENDORSEMENTS...people will eat John Ng Xander Instant Noodles and style the hair with John Ng Xander wax!! I shall show Arnold how to pronounce 'California' and usurp the throne of the state, amidst wild celebration...I SHALL ACEHIEVE ALL THESE...BUT WHY...GOD DAMN WHY...DO I STILL HAVE ONLY 5 pictures to post??? I WANA POST MORE PICTURES OF MYSELF!!!

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