Outrageous. Beautiful. Misfit.

Last post - Redirecting

2008-12-08T22:49:00.002+11:00

Hi all, this is the last post for my blog. A new blog - incorporating my dog Toby, my family and myself - has been created. Visit The Marching Jester.

Until then, so long from Blogger.com.

2007-10-03T18:25:00.000+10:00

"Hello, have you met my boobs?"

With the Spring Carnival just around the corner, everyone's gearing up for another great season of racing. Healthy horses permitting.

While punters have a flutter at the races, fashionistas prefer to put their money on a sure bid. Yes, the annual fixation on the Big F.

Here's hoping flat-chested girls have as much of a chance as Hillary Berry. Berry, the new 'Face of Caulfield', had on herself the most hideous boob dress. Designed by Sydney designer Alex Perr, the dress looked unflattering and uninspired. If anything, Hillary looked like she had Glad-wrapped herself with thrashy garbage bin liner and went to town with it. Her boobs are too squashed, and the shape it completely wrong.

Above: Hillary Berry, her boobs and designer Alex Perry.

I'm completely opposed to skimpy looking hoe-dresses on race day. Firstly it's not appropriate. Secondly knowing how unreliable the meterologists are in Melbourne and the weather in Melbourne, prancing around like a slut screaming 'Fuck Me' doesn't exactly warm my heart.

Give the dress to a flat-chested girl Alex. Spare Hillary's boobs the blushes. And pain.

2007-09-26T10:55:00.000+10:00

If this had happened to my wife...

Horror birth

I'd be scarred for a very long time.

According to economicobjectorvism, Sydney's patient-doctor ratio is along the lines of 1700:1. It gets worst as you head out to the coast, with ratios of 5000:1.

That is shocking. This is Australia. A modern, extremely wealthy and resource-rich country. Public hospitals should not be lacking the funding to hire more doctors. While everyone's playing catch up and apologising to the Aboriginals, we do tend to forget about the other 'forgotten' people in Australia - the middle class.

What happened in Sydney's Royal North Shore Hospital could have been prevented, and while the genuinely ill or patients with life-threatening symptoms wait in queue for their turn, fucking morons who wana chuck a sickie in the next day beats them to the doctor.

I say hospitals should have two queues - Sickie queue and the Genuinely sick queue.

2007-09-26T01:01:00.000+10:00

The modern day Adolf Hitler

You truly are a fucking idiot Mr Admadinejad.

2007-09-15T00:49:00.000+10:00

As Kevin Sheedy would say it...

Was channel surfing free-to-air tele earlier, and caught about 10 seconds of the footy between West Coast Eagles and Collingwood. The commentator commented on how the semi finals (or perhaps footy?) is the greatest sporting spectacle in the world.

More on adrock2xander's latest post in Metroblogging Melbourne.

2007-03-17T20:19:00.000+11:00

24 hours?

When i look back at three years worth of blog entries, it brings me joy and i feel like a little jig, skip and hop.

However, with the way my schedule is going right now, i simply don't have time to commit myself to my experiment. Outrageous. Beautiful. Misfit. is temporarily on hiatus.

Again, you guys know where to find me.

Or grab a copy of Catalyst! :O

2007-01-21T21:30:00.000+11:00

I'm Baaaaackkkkkkk!

I knew it had to come. One day, i'll return to Outrageous. Beautiful. Misfit. To bitch (perhaps), discuss (probably) and blog (definitely). And hey, the bloody bug bit me real hard today.

It didn't really go away. For the last 6 months, i have been blogging regularly for Metroblogging Melbourne and every other week or so, I am Toby. Besides, i've always known i'll return to the blog anyway. Hey, i still remember the password!

After a three months hiatus, i'm completely recharged and feel like a raging bull has risen from within me. This bull wants to do some really silly and spontaneous stuff. I just hope i can keep the bull restrained.

Remarkably, this blog consistently gets several hundred hits a day. The blog is still churning out at least 150 hits a day in the last three months. Weird, i say. Half of them come from keywords including 'fuck', 'sex', 'gay', 'bisexual', 'melbourne', 'asian' and 'singapore'. I know. Weird, you say.

For my new take, Outrageous. Beautiful. Misfit. will now take a new direction. I won't reveal too much yet. I hope the readers return.

Above: Dodgy self-portrait on dirty grass patch in Ballarat, Victoria.

2006-10-30T12:58:00.000+11:00

Just Another Update - New or Old Template Notwithstanding

Hi guys,

God i hate this new template. It's so ugly and simple. I much prefer the older template from August 2006 before.

Anyway, just to reiterate my point just over a month-and-a-half ago on September 11 (of all dates), i've decided to take a breather on the blogging front. Yes, it appears that i've stopped blogging completely and as my mate Joe Gordon of the Woolamaloo Gazette said in a desperate email sent a week ago in a plea to tempt me to blog again, "Are you in a coma?"

Well, i'm still here am i not? :O

Blogging commands a lot of importance in my life, so i've never truely given it up. I never will. Just that after 3 years of blogging you tend to lose track of the other things in life. And i'll be the first to admit i spend far too many hours in front of the PC.

You can all still find me blogging on Melbourne Metroblogs; i'm an authorised author of the city blog and though it's nowhere as witty or sarcastic as Outrageous. Beautiful. Misfit. i'm sure many will appreciate a different adrock2xander. And hey, i do live in Melbourne. So find out what i think of the beautiful city.

Also, i have my hands full with my puppy Toby. He has a blog as well - the aptly named I am Toby - so do visit the site and find out what's going on in my real life.

There're some other developments and projects that i'm working on at the moment. In a nutshell, i've successfully campaigned and was elected editor of RMIT Union student magazine Catalyst for 2007.

I have a new tv program and am working out plans to set up a media company; these are all out in the horizon and should all become clearer over the Australian summer holidays. Right now, i'm just concentrating on my own 'personal effects' such as just having a normal life, sleeping in to 12pm and pigging out on ice cream and marijuana. It'll be an exciting few months to come.

Whether this blog is revived again is another matter. I do appreciate all your friendly comments and questions related to my sudden hiatus; it warms my heart knowing that people still find irreverance, sardonic comments and wit a part of their lives. In this political environment that we live in post 9/11, nobody laughs at themselves anymore.

Well i really am still alive, and you can all find me on MSN (adrock2xander@email.com) or email me on the same address. To my Melbourne friends, i'm only a phonecall away :O

Ok i've got a 1.30 appointment with my Playstation 2. Ciao.

2006-09-17T21:24:00.000+10:00

2 Things

The Misfit

Alright, 2 things.

Firstly, my pilot episode is finally out! Head on down to RMITv's website to download it, or just click on this link.

Secondly, just reading Sam of Sam & The City fame latest article on the Sydney Morning Herald. Says here, she interviewed a chick who reckons a bloke with a hairdryer is a bad date.

What is she on about? I own a $130 hairdryer, chicks and blokes dig my hair, i get quick access to heat in a cold winter's day, and most importantly, i dry my nether regions with it.

What's not to like about a bloke with a hair-dryer?

2006-09-11T22:07:00.000+10:00

Re-evaluating My Priorities

The Misfit

After blogging breathlessly for 3 years, i've decided to take a breather and slower, more relaxed approach to Outrageous. Beautiful. Misfit.

At last count my post counter reads 926. That's almost 26 posts a month, or just under a post a day. I made up my mind, a day after purchasing my beautiful new puppy Toby, that something had to give as a puppy is a full time commitment.

Couple that with my extra-curriculum activities in Melbourne, i simply do not have time to maintain a blog that's regularly updated.

Of course, this blog will not be neglected. I'll be blogging less frequently here, and more on Toby's blog and Metroblogging Melbourne, of which i have a responsibility to write for. I reckon snippets of my life are far more interesting from a puppy's point of view; my posts on Metroblogging are also far more readable and less random. It makes for a more palatable way to digest adrock2xander for all readers.

My madcap adventures and manic thoughts will be more condensed in this blog, and i'll slowly phase over to my own domain. Yes, it's something i've been talking about for a long time. But 3 years on Blogger is far too long.

Fasten your seat belts guys, as this blog matures and plods along like a geriatric.

2006-09-05T15:44:00.000+10:00

Woof!

The Beautiful

I bought a puppy! He's so cool, he even has his own blog!

Of course, with Outrageous. Beautiful. Misfit. still in the midst of renovation and what with I am Toby being created, i hope readers are patient enough. Don't be complaining about the template! :O

2006-09-04T09:25:00.000+10:00

Brought To You In Widescreen

The Beautiful

This blog, and along with future MSN conversations, emails and work-related stuff, is brought to you by a 20'1" widescreen monitor.

Yep, a marvellous brand new computer. Life is good.

2006-09-02T01:13:00.000+10:00

Outrageous. Beautiful. Misfit. Spring 2006 Collection

The Beautiful

Fret not. It's still the same adrock2xander. Just a different look.

While mucking around with my template late last night - i always seem to have time for that, i have waayyyyyyyy too much HTML time on my hands - my naughty fingers accidentally deleted my entire set of codes. After a minute or two of stunned horror, i realised it's not all that bad. I've been meaning to have a complete overhaul of my blog anyway; this mistake gives me the perfect opportunity.

With this clean look i can look to start afresh with a proper comments system, a more personable template and just a more reader-friendly blog. A proper comments system means i'm now able to reject inappropriate comments (they're plentiful in this blog) and one has to be a registered member of Blogger to leave a comment. Which means, more interaction, less cloak-and-dagger.

The previous template has been bastardised and operated on so frequently i honestly cannot remember how the original template looked. Gaudy colours i've gotten tired of. Time to go back to basics. White is in.

So while you're reading the posts, which i'll continually update as you've all come to expect, excuse my ugly sidebar.

2006-09-01T00:48:00.000+10:00

And I Keep Stalking...

The Outrageous

Just a quick note to all my Prof Comm friends in Networked, and to continue my somewhat morbid interest with them. (Insert obligatory Harry remark)

I do spend time reading your blogs. And turns up certain surprises, least of which is how and why the passive but talented Wye Keen has added my blog to his blogroll. Stranger things have happened.

It's interesting, and somewhat fascinating to discover how many of you have never taken to networking through a blog (not, i repeat, NOT myspace). It's an excellent way to brush up on our now rusty journalistic skills, hone your nosy attitude and hey, you get to learn a funky new skill in the form of HTML.

Though I think i'd have to shoot myself with a staple gun if i read another friendly blog that's an encapsulation of the week's readings or reflections. If you find me holding my head in my hands (above) in uni one day, you'd know i've read one too many. You're missing the point of having a blog! Some of you furry friends have already developed your own personality. Yay. I like. Talk about how you woke up next to your neighbour's hot son, stark naked. Or like, why you shave your armpits but not your pubes. Maybe discuss the merits of breath mints over chewing gum.

Now THAT'S a blog.

Ok that's taking it a bit too far. I can't see any of you doing that lol.

And NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo, please do NOT use imageshack as your image server. Take it from someone who's been blogging for 3 years. If you want a dedicated server, sign up for photobucket. It's free, it's amazingly friendly, there's an awesome community in the forums, and you get heaps and heaps of space. Bonus points - they're all yours!

Speaking of myspace, is anyone out there cool enough to withstand the Dark Side? Hell, even yours truly has succumbed to peer pressure and gotten himself one.

Ok i've said it. I've gotten myelf a myspace account. Now all you girls (yes you know who you are lol!), please leave me alone while i wallow in my own pity.

Non-conformist indeed.

2006-08-30T10:46:00.000+10:00

Learning On The Job

The Beautiful

One of the more interesting aspect of working in the F&B industry is, regardless of how long you've worked, you're always learning on the job.

I waiter in a mid-sized hotel in the CBD, and understood the true meaning of 'learning on the job' several evenings ago.

Working the busy dinner shift, a regular customer by the name of Brendon Roughead must have had a truly bad day at work. He must have made it a point to be the meanest man-bitch to anyone who was serving him.

Unfortunately, that was me.

Brendon asked for a Carlton Cold, which i duly obliged. The beer was served, and while working the register several minutes later, my manager came up to me and whispered that Brendon didn't like the way his beer was poured.

I paused for awhile. "Bad luck," i thought, "the beer glass was freshly washed and there weren't any cold glasses."

Brendon called out to me several minutes later, and asked for a glass of red. "What kind of red?" i asked.

"Do you have a shiraz?" he asked, barely looking up at me as he flipped through the papers.

I had checked the bar counter earlier in the day, and remembered seeing only bottles of merlot. The bar has seen lots of action the night before.

"I may have to check with the manager. I'll get back to you." i quirped.

Going through the wine store thoroughly, i found 3 bottles of Little Penguin shiraz sitting idly in one corner. The shiraz was poured, and i brought it to his table.

"What shiraz is it?" You could almost sense the sinister sneer from his voice, snarling and cursing at my youthful face.

"It's Little Penguin from South Australia."

"Which region of South Australia?"

I was bowled. I honestly had no idea. Brendon was trying to make it difficult for me. Perhaps it wasn't obvious enough that i was a casual staff, not a fully certified sommelier. But i was more incensed at his remarkable lack of courtesy at a staff. I've never agreed with taking your anger out on someone else, and though i may at times have been guilty of it, it's always been at people i know really well. This Brendon dude, i've only seen twice.

A beat. And i told him honestly, "I've no idea."

Brendon looked up and peered at me for the first time. He shook his head and waved me away. "Oh nevermind."

If this was a Hollywood movie and i was a blonde teen, i'd have ran to the back of the kitchen and cried. But i saw in this awkward situation, a challenge. Brendon had presented to me a perfect opportunity to learn a little about wines. I'm not much of a wine drinker, though i do enjoy a nice glass of sweet white from Brown Brothers or sweet red from Monichino.

A full hour later, Brendon stood up to leave. I stopped polishing the glasses, looked up and wished him goodbye. And threw the wine region at him.

Unexpectedly, Brendon laughed.

"You're quite a character, John" Brendon's face flushed red with wine and food. "I just had a bad day at work, i apologise for being nasty."

We stood there for a moment or two and chatted.

Before he left, i told him cheekily, "Ring in the next time you come for dinner. I'd like to serve you again."

Brendon laughed heartily, bid me good bye and left for his room.

Now, if you'd excuse me, i've a sommelier course to attend.

2006-08-29T23:22:00.000+10:00

The Book

The Misfit

This week, my worthless Asian hands found a gem of a treasure. A book. Not just an ordinary book, but a very old book.

2006-08-26T08:59:00.000+10:00

Weekend Work

The Misfit

Great. It's 8am. The manager calls me up to replace someone else. I'm due in 2 hours.

Ok that didn't sound right.

Happy weekend everyone.

2006-08-24T20:29:00.000+10:00

Why I Love Melbourne

The Misfit

I come from a city that claims to be 'multicultural'. I used to believe in that hogwash as where else can you find a mix of Malays, Indians and Chinese living harmoniously with one another.

Then i arrived in Melbourne, made friends with the wonderful folks here, and had a change of heart. And a whole new opinion and mindset.

No disrespect to other metropolitan cities, but i can't think of anywhere in the world where you find yourself sitting next people of Hungarian, Macedonian or Colombian background.

Or become good friends with Polish, Sri Lankan or German heritage.

How about enjoying some excellent Bulgarian hospitality, tasty Greek delicacies, Italian cuisine or French fare?

I can drive my Australian car to a shop to buy a Chinese-made refrigerator, a Japanese-made television or make a detour to an Indian spice shop or a Vietnamese milk bar.

Perhaps sip coffee with Jews, snack on fast food with a Romanian, go shopping with a Moroccan or talk about politics with an Iranian?

And of course, the huge number of Anglo Saxons too!

They're all lovely, and this is what makes Melbourne a wonderful city. Call it multicultural or multitolerance, we're all immigrants who left our countries for a better life.

I love Melbourne, do you?

2006-08-24T00:28:00.000+10:00

I Get Nosy With Networked Media Blogs

The Misfit

Many people have asked me why i did not choose Networked Media as a subject. I've been blogging and dabbling with HTML for almost 3 years now; studying Networked would have been a given and scoring a Higher Distinction would have been easy.

I disagree. Having a knowledge of HTML and interest in blogging is one thing, but blogging about your lectures and readings is another. I believe one of my greatest strengths is to make something out of nothing; i can make a trip to the milk bar seem like the sexiest journey ever or embellish bullshit to the point of complete unreadability. However, I can't for the life of me blog about a Bruce Mau reading, the beginnings of HTML or why Fugu is a bloody bitch of a program. Also, i highly disagree with Macintosh's accessibility. It has compatibility issues with PCs; for every smooth OS or gimmick that a Mac possesses, it can never truly replace the ubiquitous PC.

There's another reasons why i've chosen not to do Networked Media. My closest pals in Professional Communication would know why. For obvious reasons i cannot state what (or who) is. And for this reason alone, i decided to study Broadcasting instead.

You can learn a lot about the Media and Professional Communication (Networked) students from their blogs. A curious thing about the nature of the Prof Comm structure is we're so bloody scattered; sharing a lecture and tutorial with first year newbies does feel like a throw back to the days when your mom still changed your diapers. It's great to see my mates on their blogs and find out what's going on in their lives.

So what have i discovered so far? Apparently, a lot! As you can see, i had problems finding where my Prof Comm friends were. They're only apparent after i found Nicola.

Monica's blog is an online representation of her - diligent, no fuss and comprehensive. Talk about scary! Her shout out to my blog scores brownie points with me too! (Thanks Mon!)

Ziba likes her fashion! Like i couldn't tell! :O

I've gotten to know Alexandra a tad bit this semester. This blog betrays what she really is, that is, an interesting and opinionated girl! Go Macedonia!

I personally don't know Ash, but how can you not spot a girl with funky pink highlights in her hair sitting in class? You can almost sense her pride when she finally figured out how to put an image up on the server.

Justine usually comes to uni dressed like she just got out of bed, but woah she's a party animal! Or was that a ploy to show everyone that she has heaps of blonde friends? And she likes her soccer too. Which is damn cool.

Caity writes like an absolute weirdo in her blog. Nah just kidding, you really don't.

Sandra's blog makes for easy reading. As she has absolutely nothing on it. 3 posts? Cmon girlfriend...wtf?

Latch is weird. Quite weird indeed.

Harry is gay. As usual. PS: dude when're you getting on Starcraft man? GOGOGO Zealot rush!

Jen's blog requires a pair of binoculars to read for users with a default 'smaller' font. Once the size has been rectified, it's a really interesting read.

Matt loves himself. And his blog. Go statcounter.

Stare at Sean's background for too long, and you may just cross-eyed.

Fraser's asking for a pinch on his buttocks what with putting my full name on his blog roll. But hey i'm on his blog. Cool. PS: any response from Mr Jolly yet Frase? And change my name! It's ugly!

Siobhan's favourite color has to be green.

Nicola loves her grandmother. To bits. Oh and your sidebar isn't correctly aligned Nic. Or is it just me?

I'm still trying to find out who Corporate Honey is.

Gabrielle likes flowers.

I love you Sophie :O

Jenika's been blogging many entries. Far more than many others. Where's the fire Jen lol. Why the rush?

Argh Greta, too pink! And half your images don't work. Meh.

Samantha likes fairy floss and kitties. Oh wait, we already knew that :O Eh, your sidebar's not aligned Sam.

Who have i left out?

2006-08-23T11:42:00.000+10:00

In Metroblogging Melbourne: Conversations with a cab driver

The Misfit

*BURP*

It's Friday night. I stepped out from the warm interior of Shoya restaurant into the cool, wintry air. Melbourne sits on the cusp of winter and spring, but it's still a tad bit chilly. I pulled my jacket closer to my body, and conscious of my Yebisu breath, i poppsed an Eclipse mint into my mouth.

Melbourne CBD changes on Friday nights. The working crowd, starved of fun and excitement in the week, walk around the narrow streets, talking loudly and happily. On occassions, you get the odd karaoke fanatic and reckons getting an old shoe thrown at them is an attractive proposition, as they burst into their rendition of *insert song here*.

Anxious to get home, i flagged a cab. Something i shouldn't have done, as the cab driver got me laughing so hard, it was almost a crime not to shed tears.

How to laugh really hard in a cab

2006-08-20T00:11:00.000+10:00

New-Age Brothel

The Beautiful

Brothels these days sure don't make any attempts to mask their catalogue of women. This brothel has a choice collection.

Nah, just a hair salon along Mount Alexander Road with a funky name.

2006-08-19T23:47:00.000+10:00

A New Mouse!

The Outrageous

I've got a Superman Mouse!

2006-08-17T10:01:00.000+10:00

You Fucking Cock Wanker

The Outrageous

WARNING: This post starts off really light-heartedly, and tapers off to an angry conclusion. How i manage to pull it off, i don't know. Let's just say when it comes to racial profiling, it's a lose-lose situation.

Is anyone aware of the awesome-ness that is Sam de Brito? I reckon he's the funniest journalist/comedian in Australia, and i absolutely love his writing.

Sam's blog, All Men Are Liars, on both the Sydney Morning Herald and Melbourne's The Age, appears everyday with the funny currency.

Yesterday's post, "How do you say 'yobbo' in Vietnamese?" was one of the most politically-correct article on Australian Asians i've ever read. Or the only one i've ever read. Sam's clarity of thought and his honest writings have always appealed to a large pool of audience. I don't agree with everything he says, but i must profess to love his form of humour and well thought-out articles.

Interestingly, the only ones who are irritated by "How do you say 'yobbo' in Vietnamese?" are of Caucasian background. Most Caucasians can never truly understand what it feels like to be a 'minority' as they've never been to a non-Caucasian country before. I'd like to find the fucker who claimed that Asians "may look different but so long as you act exactly the same way as us then that's fine, just make sure you subsume those nasty little cultural habits to the dominant white australian culture and we'll all get along fine."

I'll fucking kill you, you cock-wanker.

The truth is, Asians don't normally appear on the radar of Australian medias. They rarely register a blip. When they're not speaking English, selling bread in bakeries or trying hard to be understood, they're minding their own business in milk bars, insulating themselves from the supposedly 'superior' white culture or doing a bloody good job as a cultural outsider.

White-Australians claim that Asians do not speak English. They're always immensely surprised to find an Asian who speaks good and fluent English. I suppose in today's global climate, it shouldn't be surprising anymore. Hell, i'd hardly be surprised if some white man came up to me and spoke Bahasa Indonesian, Tagalog or Mandarin.

If Australia claims to be a free country - the government has a habit of saying that - then everyone should be allowed to do, say and practice what we want. As long as it's legal. This means if i decide to speak Mandarin in public (shock gasp horror!), visit the nearest yum cha outlet, shop in Chinatown or decide to start a Falun Gong rally, it shouldn't be anything out of the ordinary.

And just because i don't speak with your Australian accent doesn't mean that my English is worse off than yours. It just means i speak more than one language, have been to many countries and am more world-wise than you are.

Which makes me, more superior than you.

Look out for adrock2xander's reply to Sam's blog at the 12:35 AM mark. He tried his hardest to be civil to the white supremists on a public blog.

2006-08-17T00:25:00.000+10:00

Potential Tee Shirt Slogan

The Misfit

So i've been thinking of printing my own tee shirts. Some ideas i've thought of:

WTF I'm a Gook!
I shower twice a day
Today is Gook Pride Day
Ninjas killed my family, need $$ for revenge
Gook and proud of it

2006-08-16T18:03:00.000+10:00

I'm Lousy With Women

The Misfit

I'm terrible when it comes to my ex-girlfriends. They all tend to leave the country upon our unamiable breakups.

Yes, that's how loathe they are to see me. They want to get out of the country. Apparently, breathing the same air kills you.

Last i checked, i'm a really nice bloke. I walk on the outside of the pedestrian, i open doors, i pull out their seats, i drop little notes in their purses, i give them hugs and kisses, and i definitely leave the toilet seat down. Can't fathom their urge to leave the country. I think someone's trying to tell me, nice guys always come last. Fuck.

What's worse, is they always do better after they leave me. They must like using me as a stepping-stone of some sort. Someone give them a brownie point already.

I used to date girls with Chinese extract. So i find it hard to believe that people call me an Asian racist. Pfft.

Tina* (she of the statuesque model of Japanese/Chinese descent) left for Japan and became a globe-trotting air stewardess.

Tatyana* (she of the waitress of English/Chinese descent) uprooted for Southamptonm, England to be with her family. Last i heard she's working in her dad in a pharmaceutical company.

Melissa* (she of the Literature teacher of Indian/Chinese descent) refused to see me for months and left with her mom for Taiwan. Friends tell me she's a public relations practitioner in Shanghai now.

You see, chicks generally flee from me. 'Coz i'm this big, bad flesh-eating necrophilic bastard son of a child molester. It's sad. I find myself singing "Nobody loves me, Everybody hates me, I'm gonna eat some worms" to myself all the time.

So imagine how i felt, when my stunning ex-girlfriend of Indian descent sent me a 'hi' message. Sasha* had broken up with me, packed for Spain and got married 6 years ago. She must really hate me as it seemed marrying was the only way to rinse me out of her system. Or so i thought.

Honestly i have no reason to respond to her. She has no reason to hate me either! Sasha was a real bitch to me, treated me like dirt and in the months leading to our eventual breakup, refused to communicate with me. Did my breath really smell that bad?

And wouldn't you know, i was the last person in our circle of friends to find out she's gone off to marry some bloke - who's pretty well-off if my sources are correct.

Oh well, you dump a poor Chinese in Singapore and marry a rich compadre in Spain. Not doing too bad yourself Sasha!

But i'm gona be civil. Hey this isn't schoolyard no more, and what's done is done. I think i may just drop her a friendly email. You know, we could become friends again. And i'll piss her off once more, and she'll pack off to the Moon and marry a funky purple Martian this time.

*Names have been changed

2006-08-15T21:27:00.000+10:00

Money Matters

The Misfit

Meet Carly*. She's a bubbly 19yo girl who loves her high school friends, her partying and her booze. She finds it hard to hold down a permanent boyfriend and is popular, pretty and outgoing. She holds down 3 casual jobs but finds it difficult to save money. Her bank balance often reads into several tens of dollars, for quickly as her her weekly income is deposited into her account, she's out buying booze and partying.

And there's Danielle*. The pretty 19yo girl is slightly more introverted, but absolutely loves Uni nights, partying and shopping. She works a fair number of hours a week, juggles 2 jobs and also finds it difficult to snag a nice man for herself. Her bank balance, however, suggests she's far-sighted and thinking about her future. At last read, her bank balance hovers in the region of 10 grand. That's absolutely amazing money for someone so tender.

It amazes me how teenagers treat money these days. It's hardly a commodity, but the way some kids look at it, it's rather shocking.

In one camp, money is exchanged as quickly as they're earned. Transactions flow freely, and these teenagers do not give one thought about saving for their future. Their future is now. And this includes going out every other day, on Uni nights, on Fridays and Saturdays, and shopping for clothes. And more clothes.

In another camp, sits the teens who're careful about their hard-earned money. Displaying maturity beyond their youthful years, they put a dollar from every $2 they earn from their holiday or weekend job into their savings. That's good money management and wise cash handling.

I have a couple of money management skills for you kids out there. It's not just about saving money; it's about putting where the money works best for you. I know it's hard, when you're a hormone-raged teen, fueled with alcohol and looking for a quick pash. It's even harder to put money aside; you barely get by on a weekly basis, let alone thinking of your future.

I've had the privilege of growing up knowing exactly what these teens are going through. I was an excitable teen who had no want for anything; partying, shopping and causing grief to my parents became routine for me. I lived life on the fast lane, and enjoyed getting away with things most people can't. Of course, i was brought down to earth in late 1999 when i got into the wrong side of the law. I grew up real quick after that.

Save your money. Start now. It's never too late. It's never too big. Drop a dollar coin into a large plastic container every time you return home from work, from partying or from uni. Only stop to count how much you have when you can no longer shove a coin into the container. You'd be surprised how much you have saved.

Look out for saving plans that give you good returns. I know it sounds easier on paper, but the truth is, it's easier doing it. Let your money work for you while letting your money work hard. This means, put your money in areas where they can protect you (insurance policies come to mind), while maintaining a monthly contribution where the payoff is at least double (endowment policies come to mind). I bought myself a couple of endowment policies in late 2000 - a full year after my not too pleasant experience - and i can safely say that i've let my money work for me.

Also, dabble in stocks and shares. It's different from the Australian Stock Exchange game we had to play around with last year. This is real money we're talking about. Nobody's telling you to buy 1 lot (1000 shares) worth of ABC stocks. A smart way to do it, is to treat this more like a game and less of a serious, life-and-death matter.

Team up with your mom or dad. Let them do the big buying, and chip in 10-50 stocks. I assure you, your appreciation of money and how the economy works will sky rocket. You're never too young to invest. My first investment was made at 21. Al-Qaeda timed my investment to the dot, as they chose to commandeer planes into the World Trade Center on September 11. I lost several hundred dollars, some pride and a better understanding of foreign politics.

Oh well, you lose some, you win some.

Check out eBay. For a token amount of money, you can set up your own family business in the comforts of your armchair. Sell anything. You'd be surprised at the stuff people buy these days. And the best part is, in the heat of a bidding war, they pay far more than what the product is initially worth. Either way, you stand to gain.

Look up the smaller banks. Bendigo and St George's Bank have some of the best Term Deposits in and around the Melbourne metropolitian area. Awesome interest rates for a tidy starting sum of $1000-$5000. If you've always wanted to make money while sitting on your ass, your nearest branch is just a hop, skip and a jump away.

Hope this advice helps. Just being an elder statesman here, watching over you kids :O

adrock2xander is now worth over $13,000. His endowment policies do not mature till 2020+, but he's not holding out for it either. In his free time, he plays with shares in Asia, sells cosmetics and video games on eBay, consolidate funds in his Term Deposit account and is generally a very cash poor person. Do not turn to him if you're hard up for cash.

*Names have been changed

2006-08-15T20:45:00.000+10:00

In Metroblogging Melbourne

The Misfit

The Swanston Street Church of Christ has just found a new group of devotees - drug users. Shock horror gasp! Nah don't get too excited. Here's what's really going on.

Lightsaber toilets!

2006-08-15T19:05:00.000+10:00

RMIT Blogs Are So Cool!

The Misfit

Eh you Networked Media kids have such cool blogs. Us Broadcast Media lackeys ain't got them same cool stuff as you do.

Makes me wana swop Broadcast for Networked.

Then again, there's Seth Keen. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo! Geme a horrendous TV or Radio project over Seth Keen any day! Nah just kidding Seth. You know i love you :O

Btw Monica, why was your blog under lock and key with a security pass? I wanted to see what naughty stuff an almost married woman writes about! Haha...

I'm back to stalk more blogs. Pity i can't leave any comments.

2006-08-14T09:45:00.000+10:00

In Metroblogging Melbourne

The Misfit

Are you guys aware of Connex's fantastic travel deals on weekends? I don't recommend travelling on Melbourne's incredibly monolithic beast of a train system, but the weekend deals are awesome. Makes the hassles and delays look like scratching an itch.

Why drive when the train's so cheap?

2006-08-14T09:39:00.000+10:00

I'm A Mystery?

The Misfit

You know what shits me? People gossiping about my life behind my back.

What's with all the cloak and dagger? Why don't you discuss it with me in person? It'll clear up your doubts, hearing it from the horse's mouth.

I don't bite.

2006-08-13T15:01:00.000+10:00

When You're Ugly

The Outrageous

Millions of people walk down the streets each day not knowing how ugly they are. But all it takes is one person to point it out to them, and their lives are changed forever.

Poor ugly regular people. When you're so ugly, you must be blessed with some other talent.

2006-08-13T14:58:00.000+10:00

Argh The Curse!

The Misfit

My good mate in Edinburgh, Scotland Joe Gordon has passed the Curse of the Internet Questions to a very unsuspecting me. Aren't they supposed to have died a tragic death last year? I thought these questions were meant for 12yo who reckon walking their pet dogs is a viable alternative to glue-sniffing.

Joe, of course, needs no introduction. He's the first bloke in the European blogosphere to be sued by his company, for all things, blogging.

This curse Joe, has to stop! It's going the way of the dodo, or at least it used to! And now you've brought it back! But it looks fun, so let's get the curse under way!

5 Things In My Freezer

Ehm, i live with 3 roomies, so the fridge is a hodge-podge of stuff we generally whip up for dinner and brekky. Let's see what actually belongs to me.

Just under a kilogram of breaded fish cutlets. I love fish.

A bag of traditional Aussie meat pies.

A large bag of frozen peas.

A large bag of frozen corn. Peas and corn go hand in hand, no?

3 trays of ice cubes. Can't have my Midori and Coke without them.

5 Things In My Car

Who's batty enough to drive a car these days? With petrol prices beyond the stratosphere, you've gota be earning heaps to drive a car. I take the tram btw. So here's what's always in my bag.

Creative Zen mp3.

Canon A95 camera.

A large 1.5L water bottle.

Nivea Nourishing Care Lotion - gota keep my body moisturised!

A notepad and a pen - you'd never know when a new blog or story idea may hit you.

5 Things In My Purse

A Purse? Joe what kind of questions are these haha. 5 things in my business card holder are:

An identity card from Singapore. Australians are arguing over the benefits of having one; many countries have had an i.d card for decades. I don't leave home without it.

My ATM card. Money = Power!

A student identity card. Some folks find it hard to believe i'm a student.

My credit card. Money = Power!

A photocopying card. A student can't afford to buy a $95 book these days. Especially when it'll hardly be used throughout the semester. At 7 cents a page, it makes more sense to photocopy what you need.

5 Things In My Closet

Who makes these questions Joe? LOL. I don't have many skeletons to hide ya know.

Clothes - My clothes come in every hue and colour. Mixing and matching is fun!

Accessories - No one can accessorise better than i do. I put Gianni Versace to shame. After all, i can't think of anyone else who uses a female scarf as a belt.

Undergarments - I need more underwear and boxers. I have this habit of losing them.

Shoes - No where to go, they're placed neatly alongside my clothes.

Cologne - I collect scents. Miniatures and large bottles alike. My favourite scents are Bulgari's BLV and Chanel Egoiste Platinum.

Ok, enough of dissecting my life! The curse ends here! :O

2006-08-11T00:49:00.000+10:00

In Metroblogging Melbourne

The Misfit

So what perilous obstacles does The O.C star Mischa Barton have to negotiate when she arrived in Melbourne for the first time? adrock2xander finds out as she appears in David Jones together with Australia's top supermodel Megan Gale. WARNING: Getting within 3 feet of a Hollywood star may be a considerable health hazard. Please consult your doctor before you visit the link.

M&M - melts in your mouth and not in your hands

2006-08-10T22:30:00.000+10:00

You Say Tomato, I Say Tomato

The Beautiful

How do you say the word fillet?

If you're from the extreme British/Australian train of thought, you pronounce the word the way it is spelt - 'fir-lert'.

I just can't say 'fir-lert'. It sounds so much more right to say 'fir-lay' - the American version sounds so proper. Then again,you can't blame me as i've never EVER heard anyone say 'fir-lert' in Asia either.

I got into this conversation with Victoria last week. An Australian Anglo-Saxon through and through, Victoria was so amused and couldn't fathom how anyone could say 'fir-lay'. So much so she couldn't stop laughing during our live recording of the RMITv Uplate Program.

Firlay-ol-Fish at McDonald's. That sounds so fucking right. Man how could you ever destroy the word and say 'fir-lert'? Firlert-ol-Fish? Someone say omg...

How do you say fillet?

2006-08-08T23:16:00.000+10:00

I'm So Weak

The Misfit

I've lost 4kg in the last 5 days.

No, i havn't been purging my food. I am not a bullimic or an anorexic. I've been afflicted with the WORST food poisoning and diarrhoea. Ever.

When your shit follows through your farts twice in as many days, you know you stomach's t3h fucked.

The amount of fluids i've lost could have watered a small garden. Eating and drinking has been reduced to tiny morsels of dry bread and jam.

To top that, i've been working flat out for the last week at the hotel, waking up at 5am in the morning. I need the money. Such is the reality of life.

I'm so sick and frail, even a gentle breeze will topple me over.

I'm just glad i've an off day tomorrow. I honestly need to rest.

Now excuse me while i replenish my lost fluids.

2006-08-05T13:26:00.000+10:00

In Metroblogging Melbourne

The Misfit

Somewhere in Melbourne is the strangest light installation you've ever laid your eyes upon. Where is it? What's its purpose?

adrock2xander brings you there, in the comfort of your own home.

And God said: "Let there be light!"

2006-08-04T18:40:00.000+10:00

RMITv Uplate

The Misfit

Catch adrock2xander and his zany crew from Tehw00t Show at 2.30am tonight on Channel 31.

RMITv goes live for 10 hours!

2006-08-02T22:26:00.000+10:00

Tehw00t Show Update

The Beautiful

Oh on the subject of my 'cheap production', just a quick note to all the Prof Commies out there.

Post-production for the pilot episode has taken longer than it really should have; we're currently behind schedule but it's definitely finishing. I urge all of you to be patient as the entire crew's on unfamiliar territory. My job as host may be over (for the Pilot at least), but i find myself sitting around Final Cut Pro and the team, offering suggestions and ideas for editing!

Hope this helps. We're just as anxious as you are.

2006-08-02T22:07:00.000+10:00

So Far Away

The Outrageous

One of the shittier hassles of filming for a low budget production is the distance we've to travel to establish a shot we want. We simply cannot recreate a scenario in our multi-million, cavernous studio.

One of the more wacky locations our crew ended up in was the Glen Waverly station. Who the hell lives in Glen Waverly? Gosh! Don't people live in proper, good old-fashioned inner city suburbs such as Hawthorn, Brunswick or Footscray anymore?

2006-07-31T00:09:00.000+10:00

Powa To Da Random!

The Beautiful

How many songs do you have in your mp3 player?

In my usual swashbuckling anti-conformist style, i've bucked the trend and went ahead to buy a Creative Zen Touch just about 2 years ago. Fuck Apple. Fuck iPods.

But i digress.

My little baby packs a powerful 20GB punch of memory, so i tend to over-indulge and chuck my entire CD collection into the device. Thing is, you lose track of what music you have after awhile.

My Zen Touch has only 6GB worth of songs right now. That's 1216 tracks or 98 albums. That's a shit load of tracks. Too many tracks if you ask me. So much so i had no idea i had some gems in my collection.

I'm a huge dance music afficionado. 70% of my music is uptempo, dancefloor killers. It starts my day and it ends my day. More often than not, when you chance upon me in Melbourne with my oversized silver headphones, it's dance music i'm listening to.

I got bored of my usual listening habit of listening to full albums this morning. Sitting at the tram stop on my way to work at 7am, i decided to fiddle around with the Random button just to spice up my trip.

To my amazement, i 'dug' up nuggets of music brilliance. Tracks i never even knew existed. Perhaps i simply wasn't paying enough attention to my compilations.

A random press, and it's an uplifting vocal trance number by Armin van Buuren. Several minutes later, it's a dark house floor-filler by Danny Howells. And just several minutes ago - 17 hours into my Random experiment - an awesome white knuckle rush by Dave Seaman.

Gota respect the Random button!

2006-07-30T13:47:00.000+10:00

In Metroblogging Melbourne

The Misfit

If you're 18 and above, blonde and attractive, chances are you'd have slept with Shane Warne.

Ok that's a sweeping statement.

The statistics are quite mind-boggling. A man, still in his mid-30s, with over 1000 conquests. Rich, famous and a fucking sex machine. Now isn't that the dream of all men out there.

Today, i talk a little about Shane Warne's unauthorised biography, Spun Out by Kerry Packer biographer and award winning journalist Paul Barry.

Shane Warne and the 1001 Dalmations, eh, Women.

2006-07-29T20:02:00.000+10:00

In Metroblogging Melbourne

The Misfit

Today, i review the movie Click. Well, sort of.

Btw, Kate Beckinsale is too hot. She has to disappear from the face of the earth. Or the fate of men hangs in the balance.

Have you seen the movie Click?

2006-07-28T21:28:00.000+10:00

How Fat Will They Become?

The Outrageous

The most powerful country in the world, yes. Ease of passage to other countries, no.

How much bigger will human beings become? Already i'm struglling with the tram and cinema seats. Mind you these were built for the previous generation of adults.

I pity the next generation of growing children. They'll be little sardines packed in a compact tin.

2006-07-26T17:47:00.000+10:00

Hard Being An Asian

The Outrageous

It's hard being an Asian in Melbourne.

It don't matter how you dress or how you talk, people here always assume an Asian is in Melbourne for educational purposes.

I'm hardly the shabbiest dresser around. Most university students are as they're poor and can't afford to buy clothes. I've got 9 years on them. Which explains my wardrobe.

So why do nice, old ladies in the bank, the pimply-teen working in the op shop and the educated gentleman with a $80,000 annual salary always ask if i'm a student when quizzed on my profession? It's proof that the people here do not judge Asians on their dressing. They look at the face. How shallow.

What's worst, is they immediately assume an Asian's partner is a student too. What're they implying? That students can't date white or blue collar workers? It's extremely offensive and rude. And these are the ones who stare when you walk down Bourke Street with a pretty non-Asian girlfriend.

Talk about double-standards.

I'm not denying i'm a student. What bugs me is, there're several hundred thousand Asians who're born and bred in Melbourne. They speak in the same affectionate Aussie accent, consume the same products as everyone else and vote for the same folks in the government. Are they immediately pegged as foreign students too?

And they're always Anglos. Even the Australian Asians and Wogs are civil enough.

Asians are still seen as outsiders. I'd like to remind the the Anglos that they're outsiders themselves.

'Anglos flew here, they didn't grow here' - someone should have thrown this at the Anglos in the Cronulla riots last year.

2006-07-26T12:40:00.000+10:00

Australia Is The Best Country In The World!

The Outrageous

The forums in Australia are buzzing with delight what with Erin's surprise non-appearance in the Final 20. I wouldn't go as far as using such a word, but some where even shocked. Donald Trump's backing you say? How about no?

This is one of the funniest response from a Carmel Egan.

10 reasons why "Our Erin" should have won Miss Universe.

1. Australia is the greatest country on the face of the planet.

2. Erin is hot.

3. People from the Third World are always given more slack from judges.

4. She did not sleep with Trump.

5. Australian women are the hottest women in the world.

6. We shave our armpits.

7. We got robbed in soccer (and the cricket, the hockey, the tennis etc), its high time the judges side with us.

8. She is much smarter than the other contestants as she is from QTS.

9. Real Aussie women don't dive, unlike those cheating Latin American ones.

10. Australia is the greatest country on the face of this planet.

I cannot agree with most of the points raised. Especially point 6.

No doubt about it, Carmel's your regular Joe Blow Aussie.

Oi oi oi!

2006-07-26T12:29:00.000+10:00

In Metroblogging Melbourne

The Misfit

Image taken off Dallys Models

Today i wonder how the Final 20 is decided. Erin didn't even make the cut. Blasphemy!

McNaught? More like McNought!

2006-07-24T17:36:00.000+10:00

Accents, And The Likeness Of It

The Beautiful

The new semester resumes. I'm glad. The holidays do not present much of a fun atmosphere as much as a 19yo. Guess when age catches up on you, an extended holiday is just another excuse to laze and be extremely unproductive. Which i detest.

But i digress.

Sitting with my sidekick of the day, the very likeable Bridget (you'v got a messed up family girlfriend lol) in a late afternoon lecture, i listened to the introductory speech presented by our co-lecturer Amanda Crane.

It hadn't occur to me at all, but Amanda was harping on and on for a full 5 minutes before she mentioned that her American accent sticks out like a sore thumb.

American? In our progressive society, where the American behemoth gradually constructs and takes over the every facet of Australian life, the North American accent wasn't apparent to me at all. Until she mentioned it.

In the following 10 minutes i mentally tried to deconstruct her accent and compare it to the Australian accent. They're very, very different. But having lived here for over 18 months and being brought up on the American culture my entire life, i realised i was having trouble trying to pick them out! It's so ingrained in my speech and intonation, to the point where i couldn't even pick out a different accent when i hear one.

It's then i realised my problem was my English. I speak with a three-tone American, Australian and International English all thrown into one. It's hard to pick out where i'm from when i speak.

3 weeks ago while shoving chips into a chip bucket in a busy retail outlet (a very humbling experience i gotta tell ya), the register girl told me she had problems trying to figure out where i was from as my English sounded very American. I was amused. I don't think i sound like an American i sound. International English is what i prefer. I do not profess to love everything American, but American English is the de rigeur for the listener. It's very easy on the ear and i love the way it resonates, particularly the East Coast American English.

Australian English on the other hand, sounds more rough and forced. I do love way many words are stressed differently than their English counterparts in Britain. It does have its charm though. Putting it to use often makes for dinner table conversations. My folks back home still think i'm batty when i use words like fair dinkum. Like, wtf?

Nobody believes me when i tell them i've only been in Australia for just under 2 years and i hail from a land more notoriously known for her strict drug laws and fines.

Such is the beauty of an International English. Haha. It's easy to get around. People can't pintpoint where you're from. It's a great conversational piece and sets you apart from your regular blow hole Aussie bogun or American yobo. Which are the same thing. *chuckles*

American and Australian English. Two completely different continents with contrasting use of inflections and native slangs. I marvel at the way English has amalgamated over these few decades.

English truly is a work of art, don't you think?

2006-07-24T07:47:00.000+10:00

Porn Storm

The Beautiful

A huge uproar over Miss Universe Australia Erin McNaught's recently published semi-nude to nude photos in the local mag Zoo Weekly is making for tabloid fodder in the Australian media circuit.

adrock2xander has been lapping all of them up.

I'm not denying it. Erin is not beautiful. She's pretty. Royally pretty and a dash of cute. Anyone who looks so pretty in just a casual tee shirt and jeans (left) must be worth some sleepless nights. I know i did (and lots of hand cleaning too).

There's talk in the local circles that Erin doesn't deserve the title and should be stripped of her crown. Afterall nude for a cheap men's magazine is so below the belt. Pfft.

So what exactly should an Australian model be these days? With the much harped-about Australian yokel fighting spirit? I honestly think nude pictures, if tastefully done, are alright. Nipples and bare bottoms are part and parcel of our society. The world is not averse to nude men either. I'd like to know who these naysayers are. One moment they're masturbating to porn flicks. The other they're lambasting Erin for not representing Australia's women in a good way. Hypocrisy has many layers it seems.

Now, i don't suppose a respectable model is supposed to fight for world peace and fight fires no? What's wrong with nude pictures? 2004 winner Jennifer Hawkins didn't pose nude, but she was a cheerleader before fame caught up with her. Now why isn't cheerleading frowned upon? The Australian public is so fucking fickle minded. Isn't cheerleading selling your body too? Does cheerleading not involve scantily clad girls? It's just another regular gig that the girl enjoys. She probably gets paid for it. Get over it Aussies.

Erin enjoys modelling. She clearly has the looks for it. And she's abusing it to earn some money. She enjoys it. Men enjoy it. So what's the fuss here?

Why should a woman be ashamed of her beautiful body? A lithe and svelte body is the epitomy of health, sexiness and beauty. Had all women caved in to society's pressures there'll be no women for men and lesbians to ogle at right now.

The only ones who crying foul over exposed nipples and bare bottoms are old, fat and ugly women who're way past their prime, can't remember what an orgasm is and can't get sex even if they offered to pay.

Get over it Aussies. Whether she wins or not, she's flying the Australian flag. We should all be proud of it.

2006-07-24T00:03:00.000+10:00

Pirates > Ninjas

The Beautiful

"Finally, a movie worth seeing over and over again" - Larry King

This movie in as many words as possible.

A movie based on a theme park ride. I'm speechless. First hour is a snore fest. Rest of movie: LMFAO.

Three Stooges!

Johnny Depp to win another Best Actor? I'll run around Bourke Street topless.

Keira Knightly in a corset, pushed up cleavage and all: Priceless.

Well worth your A$15.

Larry King boring me on CNN: gay.

Larry King watching a cheesy Hollywood popcorn summer flick: gay.

Perhaps this movie settles the thousand year old argument: pirates truly are better than ninjas.

2006-07-23T01:46:00.000+10:00

In Metroblogging Melbourne

The Misfit

Today, adrock2xander reveals and reviews one of Melbourne's best kept video game secrets.

Crawling in the Dungeon

2006-07-19T01:20:00.000+10:00

What Colorful Language!

The Outrageous

"See, the irony is what they need to do is get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit and it's over."

So President Shrub made a big boo boo on the microphone and copped a huge media outcry. Big whoop. This is the way regular folks like you and i talk. Shrub is a human being too. Off camera he's just another ordinary man with a family to feed, an ordinary job to return to and an ordinary portfolio of works.

I'm sure he farts and burps, pees with the toilet seat down, enjoys the missioanry position, leers at sexy women and masturbates to porn too.

Just like you and i.

2006-07-17T02:36:00.000+10:00

It's A Family Affair

The Beautiful

Looks like the Wilson family's up to their annual brotherly joust again. In the Red corner we have the younger Wilson Luke starring in a comedy with mean bitch Uma. In the Blue corner we have the older Owen starring in another comedy with another mean bitch Kate. Is it me or is there a common theme here? I smell a conspiracy.

Comedy runs in their blood? Or is this a work of art by their PR practitioners? You be the judge.

2006-07-14T23:52:00.000+10:00

The Asian Prostitutes Persuasion

The Outrageous

So cheap and usually illegal Asian prostitutes in Australia are stealing a march on local Australian prostitutes.

Now local Australian prostitutes are finding it difficult to earn money by opening their legs. Oh woe is them.

I blame the white men's obsession with Asian women for this weird phenomenon. Why anyone would find an Asian woman sexually alluring and attractive is completely beyond me.

Slant eyes, flat nose, no butt and a runway cleavage? Pass the peas please.

2006-07-13T23:14:00.000+10:00

Natalie Outbares Herself

The Beautiful

As hot Jewish girls come and go, Natalie Portman rears hers beautiful head when she strips for the camera. Again.

Of course, Closer did not warrant a completely nude Natalie. The final cut was passed without a nude Natalie in it. But this time it seems Natalie's hell bent on exposing not just her beauteous head (left), but also her even more beautiful body.

I don't care what the movie's about. I don't care what kind of torture she's subjected to. I don't care if she's into S&M. I've got front row tickets on opening day. Anything for Natalie's supple tits, lithe body and hairy bush.

Sheesh. The thought of watching a nude Natalie in the comfort of a cinema with horny men salivating all around me; you know what i think i'm gona have to pass on the front row bit. I'll buy the DVD instead and have Natalie all to myself.

2006-07-13T21:24:00.000+10:00

Personal Computing Just Got Personal

The Misfit

I've become Mr PC Man in the last week.

Flushed with some funds, i've been sourcing for a brand new PC (yeah, fuck the Apple revolution!) and some games that i havn't had the opportunity to play in the last 5 years.

Specifications for my brand new PC varies, but i've roughly inscribed this in stone:

AMD Athlon x2 Dual Core 3800
Nvidia GeForce 7600GT
2 x 1024MB DDR2 RAM
250GB 16MB SATA2 HDD
19” WXGA with 8ms response

No doubt about it. I love my PC gaming. Throw a wireless keyboard and card into the fray and we're looking at a 'future-proof' PC that should equip me well for the next 5 years.

Games that i'm looking out for and will be purchasing include Command & Conquer: The First Decade, Titan Quest, Caesar IV and a game i've put off buying for many months now due to the pathetic performance of my Dell 2650, Football Manager 2006.

2006-07-11T18:22:00.000+10:00

In Metroblogging Melbourne

The Misfit

Today, i wonder where you can find a loud Asian.

Where can you find a noisy Asian?

2006-07-07T22:05:00.000+10:00

The Family Just Got Bigger!

The Misfit

This apartment, with an occupancy of 3, just got more crowded.

micheLe's sister, Crystal has arrived in Melbourne to pursue her Bachelors in Public Relations. Gavin's also Crystal's boyfriend. And Gavin and i go back to our Army days. It truly is quite a family affair.

But again, this apartment cannot accomodate 4 people. Someone has to go! By hook or by crook! Die! Muahahahaha.

2006-07-05T19:38:00.000+10:00

Final Project perfecthaz-style. Co-starring adrock2xander.

The Outrageous

This is a video project perfecthaz and i did several weeks ago.

For perfecthaz aka Harry's final video project in Editing Media Text, he decided to do a FPS (first person shooter) parody. The rules were simple - edit together a short film representing a location that has some meaning to him. The catch? It can only be done with (and must include) two seperate continuous shots, seven still shots, 50 words or less and all packed in under two minutes. Needless to say, lol pwn3d.

In Harry's words: GET THE TISSUES AND VASELINE READY BEFORE WATCHING BOYS AND GIRLS!!!

The evil baddie btw, is me. Haha.

2006-07-05T18:54:00.000+10:00

Hitting The Job Brick Wall

The Misfit

I've strong reasons to believe that my position as an Assitant Secretary in the City of Melbourne Council is detrimental to my application for casual jobs in the city.

The same resume and CV sans my Assistant Secretary gig triggers a quick response from my prospective employers, yet i get no reply from the other companies when i do it.

Is it so hard to believe this Asian's ass is good enough for minutes taking in the Melbourne Town Hall?

Fair go?

2006-07-04T20:53:00.000+10:00

Own Worst Enemy

The Outrageous

I had the biggest fright of my life today.

Leaving for the gym at 6am this morning, the street was very quiet and deserted. I was walking towards the tram stop, huddled under my warm clothes with the street lights casting huge, long shadows all around me.

I wasn't paying too much attention to anything, apart from keeping warm in the winter cold. I must have spaced out for awhile, but when i came to my senses, i glanced to my left and there was this LONG UGLY MOTHER FUCKER that was just about to pounce on me.

I don't know why. But i started running.

Like 3-4 steps. Then i realised it was just my shadow.

Oh my god, the things we do to scare ourselves.

2006-07-04T20:02:00.000+10:00

In Metroblogging Melbourne

The Misfit

Today, speak of my admiration of cabs and abhorrence of cars.

So it's cheaper/safer to take the cab then?

2006-07-02T19:58:00.000+10:00

The Crying Shame

The Outrageous

Wana know what's more sickening than a rich white man telling the world to clamp down on racism?

A bunch of adults sobbing on the football pitch after a quarter-final elimination.

These footballers each earn in excess of £80,000 per week just for kicking a football; they're multi-millionaires over and over again and can buy anything and do everything. Yet here they are crying like a fucking jailbird.

I can't understand why they're crying. The English team has for years, under performed. Their elimination didn't surprise me. Overpaid footballers with egos the size of Mount Olympus crying on the pitch did.

Stupid retards. Money can buy you anything. Even the World Cup. Go home to your fat bank accounts, give oral pleasure to your Latin maid and act like a man for once.

2006-07-02T01:15:00.000+10:00

What Does He Know?

The Outrageous

You know what sickens me? David Beckham reading out a short passage on the stamping out of racism before the quarter-final game between England and Portugal.

What the fuck does David know about racism? He's white, he's rich and the media laps up everything he does.

Only a person of non-Caucasoid origin will understand what racism is like.

Shut the fuck up David.

2006-06-30T15:58:00.000+10:00

Australia's Impossible World Cup Bid

The Outrageous

Prime Minister John Howard has once again proved his questionable prime ministering skills is no match for his complete ignorance to football, or soccer if you wana get all Australian on me.

After Australia's successful World Cup campaign John clearly was letting the success get into his head by claiming that "There is no world event that is beyond the capacity of Australia to organise superbly."

He went on to say, "We are very good at it, we proved that in Melbourne in 1956, we proved it in Sydney in 2000, Melbourne again with the Commonwealth Games (this year), and the very successful Rugby World Cup (in 2003). I'm sure, anywhere in Australia virtually, where there's a large population and the necessary infrastructure, we could do it."

Picture: John Howard celebrates Australia's success in his official residence in Canberra.

John clearly has been smoking too much dope lately, and the effects have been affecting him somewhat. There's simply no way Australia will be able to host a World Cup event. Firstly, Australians have been fed on a diet of cricket, Australian football and rugby. (All bullshit sports btw). Non of these football fields are sufficient for a football (soccer) ground. The size of football pitch is different from a cricket and Australian football pitch. The markings are different from a rugby pitch. And who plays football on an oval pitch!

Secondly (and more importantly), will Australians endear themselves to a football code that has been ridiculed, bastardised and abused for decades? Will they get tickets to watch World Cup games that does not involve the Socceroos?

USA serves as an excellent example. It's size is relatively similar to Australia; the population follows its own brand of sport that is unique from the rest of the world. Football is lags behind popular team sports in USA (after American football, ice hockey, basketball, lacrosse, and baseball) However USA has hosted the World Cup in 1994, and it may not have registered a blip in most Americans radar, but football has increased its profile in USA indefinitely.

If USA can do it, i suppose Australia will be able too? I doubt it.

Let's analyse John's claims and examine Australia's chances of hosting the World Cup.

A common theme in all countries that has hosted a World Cup is the number of cities that're large enough to accomodate millions of fans, tourists and locals alike. Australia has 5 'big' cities - Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Perth and Adelaide. By any stretch of the imagination, only Sydney and Melbourne truely qualify as big. A World Cup has 32 nations and is divided into 8 groups. Going by that logic, Australia needs 8 world-class stadiums AND cities to accomodate 4 nations in any one city.

Problem is, Australia does not have 8 large cities. Or even 8 world-class stadiums. Or do they?

Let's look at USA's participating cities in World Cup 1994.

9 cities - that fulfills the quota of 8 cities. USA proved that distance is not a problem if a successful World Cup is to be held. However, what USA has is a myriad of large cities all over the country. And large cities mean a good infrastructure.

If Australia adheres to the 8 cities rule, it should be perfect as there're 8 states in Australia. Each state will be elect a city to host the games. I can see some problems in some states, particularly Northern Territory and Tasmania. Such is the reputation of these 2 states, I can't envisage anyone living there having ever seen a football!

Australia has a trump card in her stadiums. That is, bar Northern Territory and Tasmania, there's a world-class stadium in every state. Here're the biggest stadiums, statewide, that're the only viable option for a World Cup game. Information sourced from austadiums.com.

New South Wales

Telstra Stadium in Sydney

Capacity: 83,500
No problem here. Telstra Stadium hosted the Sydney 2000 Olympics and also witnessed Australia's historic win over Uruguay in last November's World Cup playoff. However, it's an oval stadium (to accomodate Australian football); spectators would be too far from the football action.

Victoria

Melbourne Cricket Ground in Melbourne

Capacity: 100,000
As the name suggests, it's an oval stadium to accomodate cricket games. As is Sydney, it's home to many Australia football games. I work in the MCG, and i can't deny it'll be an excellent venue for a World Cup game. Too large though i reckon.

Northern Territory

Herein lies a problem. NT does not have a stadium at all. ROFL. Pity the residents there.

Western Australia

Subiaco Oval in Perth

Capacity: 42,922
Subiaco has an advantage over MCG and Telstra Stadium in the sense that her capacity is perfect for a World Cup crowd. I simply cannot see FIFA releasing 100,000 tickets around the world for a game in the MCG. It's simply too many. It allows for an abundance of black market sales and a mad rush for tickets. On game day a lack of crowd paints a terrible picture for the bigger stadiums.

As with most Australian stadiums, the pitch is oval. Too far from the crowd.

Queensland

The Gabba in Brisbane

Capacity: 42,000
Another stadium with the perfect capacity. But again, it's oval.

South Australia

AAMI Stadium (formally Football Park) in Adelaide

Capacity: 51,515
Another stadium with a wonderful capacity. Pity the shape though. What's with Australians and the egg shaped objects? Geez...

Australian Capital Territory

Canberra Stadium

Capacity: 24,647
Here's a peculiarity. This stadium is rectangular in shape and is perfect for football games. However, the capacity leaves a lot to be desired. A 20,000 increment in seats would be perfect.

Tasmania

Aurora Stadium in Launceston

Capacity: 23,000
Another Australian Football-catered stadium. It is, however, too small for a World Cup venue.

Other potential venues include Suncorp Stadium in Brisbane (capacity 52,000), Queensland Sport and Athletic Centre in Brisbane (capacity 48,300), Telstra Dome in Melbourne (capacity 56,347) and Sydney Cricket Ground in Sydney (capacity 44,000).

So that's a grand total of 11 stadiums - 9 of which have a good capacity and are considered above average to world-class standards.

I can't see the Australian government building a stadium in Northern Territory just to accomodate the World Cup - the stadium would be left to ruins after the Cup anyway. Launceston is a wonderful place to visit; it'll be wonderful if the government can increase the seating capacity to around 45,000. A boost to Tasmania's tourism industry.

Canberra Stadium is ideally suited for football. However the size and A.C.T's lacklustre image could undermine its potential. As far as i'm concerned nobody has any business to visit A.C.T unless you wish to visit John Howard! Why a wonderful rectangular stadium sits in, of all places, Canberra is still up in the air for discussion.

Which brings me to 2 prickly topics. The World Cup, held in June and carrying over to July is a summer event. However, as Australia sits in the Southern Hemisphere, visitors will be greeted with a chilly winter blast during this period. I can't understand how people will watch a football game while huddling together in near freezing conditions.

Another topic, and more pressing, is the World Cup sits in the middle of the Australian Football and rugby season. The World Cup runs for about 4 weeks, and that could be a logistical nightmare for the Australian football officials. The Australians are mad about their football. Does that mean their loyal (if not stupid - oval balls? Lol!) fans will have to wait a month before the Australian Football or rugby season resumes? Again, another problem for Australia to contend with.

Well let's wait and see how Australia plans to work this out. A lot of money will have to be spent for upgrading and publicity. Perhaps just once, people will remember Australia for her wonderful people and great cities instead of kangaroos and deserts.

2006-06-29T18:06:00.000+10:00

In Metroblogging Melbourne

The Misfit

Today, i lament at Melbourne's warm winter.

A cool summer's evening - NOT!

2006-06-28T02:21:00.000+10:00

In Metroblogging Melbourne

The Misfit

Today, i wonder what's in the name of a lane along Lygon Street.

Cutesy Melbourne Road Names

2006-06-27T14:41:00.000+10:00

White People Are Stupid And Ignorant (sic)

The Outrageous

So Australian media mogul Rupert Murdoch has asserted that Muslims identify themselves by religion before nationality.

What's the beef here?

At least the Muslims know who they are.

Most white people i know - all of European origin - describe themselves as 'white' when asked about their ethnicity.

Or their nationality.

Or worst, 'aryan'. 60 years after his death, Adolf Hitler's legacy of lies and bullshit lives on.

So where do you stand if you're completely oblivious to your cultural background and use a neutral colour to describe your ethnicity?

It sickens me when White Australians tell me that they hate ethnicity - in reference to all the wogs and Asians here.

What they don't know - which makes Asians and most wogs better people in this aspect - is that everyone has an ethnicity. Whether we come from a Venezuelan background, a Icelandic background or any combination of the two, these ethnic cultures play a very important role in shaping how we view, interpret, and interact with the world.

Hey look at what Rupert Murdoch is - he's a white.

2006-06-27T04:46:00.000+10:00

So Near, Yet So Far

The Outrageous

Socceroo fans will never forget this moment - the sorry sight of the innocent Lucas Neill protesting against a last minute penalty-winning goal and Fabio Grosso digging for his speech for his Best Actor award with his face. He looks almost like he's sniffing for truffles. Then again, a diver deserves to be a pig.

But oh well, it was in the writing. 40 minutes with an extra man to play with, and Gianluigi Buffon wasn't even tested. Australia simply didn't have the killer instinct.

Let's see how long the Australians' interest in soccer will last. With the Australian football season resuming this weekend after 2 weeks hiatus, i'd say - no chance.

Final Verdict:
Australians and their stupid sport no one else around the world cares about - 1
The World Game - 0

2006-06-27T02:02:00.000+10:00

Half Time Post

The Beautiful

One of the beauties of watching a World Cup game from the comfort of your own home is having the option of blogging at half time. Haha.

I've spent the last 2 weeks imitating the behavioural patterns of a barn owl. I sleep in at 7am after the final live telecast of the World Cup, get up at 3 in the afternoon and hit my Playstation 2 or laptop. Some life i'm having! Of course, once my work at the cricket ground resumes, i'll be back at work.

What am i playing on the laptop? Only the best RTS in the 1990s - Starcraft and her awesome expansion Starcraft: Brood War.
If you're keen, catch me on Battle.net on US West and look for my online moniker adrock2xander.

2006-06-26T15:36:00.000+10:00

In Metroblogging Melbourne

The Misfit

Today, i question the need for more clueless football fans.

So who's batty enough to visit Federation Square tonight?

2006-06-26T07:29:00.000+10:00

A Snore-Fest In The Battle Of Nuremberg

The Outrageous

"Here, have a whiff of my armpit for the umpteenth time." Image off Getty Images
Before this morning's games, I had believed 17 days of sleep deprivation and a coffee and apples diet deserves some mentioning.

No longer.

I was barely able to keep myself awake at 2am at England's comatose display against Ecuador. It was so bad, i was anxious to find any source of interesting visuals to keep me awake. A streaker. A sexy English or Ecuadorian fan. Hell even a couple of fat beer-bellied English fans with the Union Jack painted across their viscera would have been nice.

Which serves to remind me why i've never followed the English team; English league football is one thing (Glory Leeds United!) but the national team is a fucking joke. Give me a traditional meat pie over David Beckham anyday.

The game at 5am though, was a complete cracker.

Aptly called the 'Battle of Nuremberg', the Russian referee Valentin Ivanov decided to take centerstage and dish out 16 yellow cards and 4 red cards. If the final round game between Italy and USA was a farce (where 3 players were sent off), this game was Russian Roulette where all 22 players were in the firing line while a diabolical madman (in this case, the referee) takes pot shots at the players.

Which means England play Portugal in the quarter-finals. If this morning's spectacular performances were anything to go by, i'd need a defibrillator, lots of dry whiskey and a large packet of smokes.

2006-06-25T01:19:00.000+10:00

adrock2xander, Metroblogging-Style

The Beautiful

Imagine writing for an international blog you've been reading for many months, that'd be swell wouldn't it? Well it just happens I've been recruited as an author for Melbourne Metroblogging.

Metroblogging is an online media project founded and owned by Sean Bonner and Jason DeFillippo that has its humble roots in Los Angeles.

The project has gotten so popular it has expanded to almost 50 cities worldwide in just under 3 years, spanning four continents and is the largest and fastest growing network of city-specific blogs on the Web.

I'm hoping to use Melboure Metroblogging as another source of valuable writing experience, to widen my professional blogging circle and to promote individuality and speaking up for oneself.

Do visit the site regularly for Melbourne-specific entries by several authors who love Melbourne more than their partners, dogs or food. I'd also encourage all of you to check out other cities around the world. Some wonderful Metroblogs from your favourite cities are written by the most eclectic bunch of folks. Check out Paris, Vienna, Istanbul and where it all began, the City of Angels.

Check out my first post here.

2006-06-24T23:29:00.000+10:00

Sometimes, Asia Does Have Its Perks

The Beautiful

After 17 months away from home, i had my first taste of something i've missed heaps in Singapore.

Nasi lemak has never tasted this good.

So good, that for someone who cannot eat chilli, i consumed a sizeable portion of the chilli that came with the nasi lemak. It was good, traditional nasi lemak at its best. I enjoyed the food so much, i struck up a conversation with the owner of the eatery.

Strange how i've always given Nasi Lemak House in Carlton a pass, and to think i was heading to KFC for some original recipe.

Gosh, i miss good old fashioned Malay food.

2006-06-24T23:21:00.000+10:00

Anglos Do Not Maketh An Australia

The Outrageous

The Australian media needs a serious reshuffling of their ideas; they've to understand that Australia is not an Anglo-Saxon society. It never has been. Australia belongs to the indigenous people. So stop showing pictures of pretty Anglo-Australians celebrating Australia's success at the World Cup. Australia is made up of other colours too.

2006-06-21T15:27:00.000+10:00

What Will You Do For A World Cup Ticket?

The Outrageous

Ehm, only if she's slim and pretty, with nice perky breasts and spreads like peanut butter. Oh, a history of non-psychotic behaviour is well-appreciated too.

2006-06-20T13:13:00.000+10:00

Green And Gold - Australian & Brazilian-Style

The Misfit

So when i said last week i'd make my way down to Federation Square to watch Australia take on Brazil, i wasn't kidding.

micheLe and i decided to brave near freezing winter temperatures - it was 4 degrees yesterday night - and cheer on the Socceroos.

Apparently, 12,000 other Socceroo 'fans' - i wonder how many of them even follow the game - thought the same too.

It's crazy. I've never seen so many Australians watching what they call a 'foreign' game. 12 months ago i'd never have thought it possible. The Australian media has whipped the entire nation to an almost tribalistic frenzy; not that i was complaining. My only concern is how long is this sudden interest towards the round ball code going to last.

To show my support for soccer in general and to a lesser extent the Socceroos, i decided to drape myself in the Australian flag. Generally a very 'white' thing, this was a very uncommon practice for an Asian to do - i was getting weird stares from skips and wogs. If only they knew i wasn't even Australian. That'd be funny wouldn't it. Then again i've never felt Singaporean. Fuck Singapore. Go Australia.

I reckon micheLe has been living with me for far too long. She's picked up my habit of being a rebel to the norm and decided to head to Federation Square draped in a Brazilian flag! She copped a fair amount of verbal abuse but got away with a physical beating as Australians are pansies who wouldn't touch a woman but would beat up a man without rhyme or reason.

Of course, i'd not given enough thought to what standing in the middle of a 12,000 strong Australian crowd standing together to keep warm would be like. It truly was one of the days when you simply needed an excuse to head out and join every other man or woman, Brazilian or Australian, and party to the world's biggest game. My back hurt from standing from standing for 3 hours, my feet was getting trampled on and my bladder was bursting for relief. But i enjoyed it. It was enjoyable torture. Watching Australians getting excited over soccer truly is a feat in itself. I was not going to miss this moment.

Crowd trouble! One thing missing from the English Premier League is the use of flares. It's a very continental-European thing to do; for 2 hours Federation Square had a distinctively European feel to it. I didn't quite enjoy the smell of the burning flares though. Nor was i too please when the smoke obscured my view of the giant television. I hope those guys who set off the flares got away with it.

Those who didn't get away with it, were the extremely stupid gits who decided to climb the Federation Square structural supports to an unused platform on the 3rd level for a better view. Firstly it was dangerous. The structure did not look like it was able to support 20-odd rowdy blokes and sheilas. Secondly it was stupid. The platform was off-limits to the public for a reason. And there was a high police presence. You'd be found out sooner or later. Sure enough, cops were shouting and physically forcing the kids to come down after several minutes or so. Did i mention they're stupid?

I wonder how the pubs and eateries coped with the crowd. This is Hungry Jacks at 1am - one hour before the game started. I'd rather go hungry than brave the crowd. When fast food staff gets busy, large chips tend to become medium chips, your burger has less tomato sauce and your drinks have no ice in it. Yes, i'd rather go hungry.

It's a pity the game ended with an Australian loss. Australians, so used to seeing their sporting heroes winning golds, are learning quickly that they're not the best in all forms of sports. But i say that with great optimism, for Australia's 2-0 loss was not a true reflection of the game. It's not always about the result, sometimes the way you've played your game matters just as well. And that's what Australians need to see - how soccer truely is played. It's not as boring as they've previously thought and it's not about the statistics.

Now, if only 12,000 Australians understand that.

2006-06-16T02:44:00.000+10:00

What Women Want

The Outrageous

Ask a woman what they want in a man these days, and cringe to yourself as they launch into a monologue about their desire to snag a rich and handsome (preferably white if the woman's Asian) man with a good sense of humour. An 8-inch cock and a bloodthirsty gladiator in bed gets extra brownie points.

I never knew women were capable of so much balderdash.

The Australian reporters Elizabeth Gosch and Patricia Karvelas have written a most disparaging article on the plight of women's inability to find a partner these days.

I say women never have it better these days.

As much as women hate to admit, they do have a list of criteria that their prospective men have to meet. Having said that, i also believe that women's inability to lower their expectations impedes their potential to score a wonderful night out.

Men these days are the ones sitting down and out on their luck. You have men who're wonderfully eloquent and are talented artists in their own rights, yet are unbelievably poor. You have men who've double degrees in I-am-a-nerd, come from a rich and influential background but are unfortunate looking. You also have men who're just the perfect blend of brains and pockets but suffer from a psychiatric problem

So what exactly are women looking for these days?

Meet Jamie. She's extremely attractive, a finalist of a beauty pageant and models part-time. As a sexually-inexperienced 19yo girl, she spends her free time dreaming of her Prince Charming (which changes every other week), kissing random boys on a weekly basis in night spots, wondering why the boy she had unprotected and painful sex with last night hasn't yet called, and talking into the wee hours of the morning with a bloke whose only concern is to get into her pants.

When Jamie's 22, her expectations of men would have changed somewhat - or has it? As a recent graduate, she now has some disposable income to call the shots. Her experience with men now include several painless one-night stands, a bad brush with STD that's thankfully gone, many sleepless nights spent wondering why she can't find a perfect man and asking why the one shot she had with the perfect gentleman was foiled when she found him in bed with her best friend.

The pendulum still refuses to swing Jamie's way. Now 27, she's ready to marry but her resume of men reads a who's who of dodgy men. She's been in two serious relationships that ended acrimoniously. Her first boyfriend was a kleptomaniac and was arrested pilfering goldfish from the local pet shop. Second boyfriend was a nymphomaniac; Jamie couldn't handle him wearing her lingerie anymore and broke it off. He was last seen in an adult club as a transvestite.

When she hits the big 3-0, she realises she's not going to be marrying anytime soon. She's financially secure, but is lonely and single. Her girlfriends have all walked down the aisle; some are mothers and wives of wonderful children and husbands. Desperate, Jamie goes on the Internet and enters her profile on online dating services. 2 Weeks later she risks a blind date with a man she's been having pleasant conversations with, and ends up bound and gagged in a dumpster. Her possessions have all been taken, and she's been raped three times over.

A running theme here. Blame it on bad luck or her karma, Jamie can't find a proper man, and all because she's too proud to date below her expectations. While greatly exaggerated, Jamie's story is shared by millions of women around the world. All they want is someone to love - someone who's rich, educated and fun.

And they say all men are bastards. Oh bore me already.

The attractive lady in the aforementioned article clearly highlights this phenomenon. Elizabeth Jean's (left) is pretty, well-travelled, living comfortably and desperately wants to get married. And somehow she's delusional enough to think she'd be comfortable at home, nursing the baby while her husband brings home the bacon.

I'm all for feminism and her various mutations. I believe women are on equal footing with men and deserve just as many opportunities societies are depriving them of. Men should share the burden of womenhood and shouldn't think washing the dishes and cleaning the house is an unmanly thing to do. Hell, if it was possible, i'd like to be pregnant and experience what it's like to have a big bun in my oven.

Yet, i feel women should start putting themselves into the cold and uncomfortable shoes of men. Women really have it all these days and men are forever on the short end of the stick. Men really have a lot to live up to and societal pressures and media stereotypes means men cannot be resting on their laurels. If marrying a woman means giving up their career or their limited finances to keep their woman happy, what's the point of getting married then?

And this hyperbole of men having something interesting to do in their lives? I think senorita Jean should just shove it up her ass. Last i checked shopping, baking and spending 4 hours in the hair salon isn't exactly a dash in the park.

Now all i need to do is find myself a perfect woman who loves cooking, spreads like peanut butter, a supermodel mother of my two kids and takes me on holidays every month.

2006-06-14T22:20:00.000+10:00

adrock2xander The Asian Emo

The Outrageous

We all hate emos.

Though we can't really say why.

It's like, so uncool to be bashed 'coz you're emo.

Nobody likes an emo friend.

Like, emo is the new goth. Except goth's still around.

But i reckon, since emo is getting so much publicity, i should go emo myself.

I already have the horn-rimmed glasses, tight tee-shirts, black nail polish and black hair.

Now for the tight jeans.

Imagine that, an Asian emo.

2006-06-14T20:55:00.000+10:00

Unreal Tournament

The Misfit

With a dying whimper, Semester One ends.

After all the hustle and bustle of the last three weeks, the tranquility and lack of action is almost, unreal.

It ended almost as quickly as it hit us. I stepped out of Seth Keen's office wondering if i've satisfied his interview assessment. And then, a beat.

"That's it?" I ask myself.

It sure is. A boring tram ride home ensued. I dozed off on the tram and got off at my usual stop. A slight detour to the pet shop today; i've been so busy these weeks i barely had time to check up on the rabbits, puppies and kitties.

Dinner was tasty, but eaten with silence. I felt like i was eating in a morgue. Something's just missing. Oh yes, no deadlines.

The holidays ensue; a regular job with a regular pay. Travelling perhaps. Time to obtain my drivers. Time for self-refletion.

Oh how unreal it is.

2006-06-13T12:28:00.000+10:00

The Barmy Green & Gold Army!

The Beautiful

Australia 3 Japan 1

"Only soccer does this to you," said soccer fan Craig Bailey. "As far as sport goes, that was the most amazing thing I've ever seen."

Well said Craig.

I woke up this morning to the ring of Australia's 'Advance Australia Fair' in my ears.

I may not be Australian, but i'm proud to be part of this moment.

It took just eight minutes for Australia's day of reckoning after 32 years in the World Cup wilderness to turn from agony to ecstasy. With 6 minutes left of regulation time, and Australia staring at a defeat, attacking midfielder Tim Cahill wrote his name into the record books as the first Australian to score in the World Cup.

For anyone not having lived in Australia, it's hard to explain it. When soccer is the 4th most popular code of football here (after Australian Footy, Rugby League, Rugby Union), it's hard for a passionate soccer fan to show his love for the world game. So imagine my surprise and somewhat amused look when talk of 'soccer fever' is sweeping through the nation in The Age and The Australian.

The feeling cannot be described. I shouted and cheered myself hoarse last night. My neighbours must have been wondering what the fuss was all about. Of course, i wasn't silly enough to head out in 5 degrees cold last night to Federation Square, where 6000 Socceroos fans gathered to watch the game. Come to think of it, i should have made the journey to the CBD. The atmosphere must have been electric. Hmmm, i'm seriously contemplating a trip for the next game.

Let's dispense with the joke that is Australian Footy for once, and revel in this history-making moment. Perhaps, just for once, myopic Aussies are opening their eye to what truly is football?

Cheers Socceroos and Guus Hiddink. You've done everyone proud. You've shown the world that Australia can play football without the use of hands, weird scoring systems and 8-storey high goals.

Now for Brazil.

2006-06-12T01:51:00.000+10:00

What's In A Banana?

The Beautiful

Last month, i'd talked about how expensive bananas are in Australia.

I'm not the only one feeling the pinch, as snacking on Australia's favourite fruit (and mine too), has become something of a rarity these days.

So much so The Age columnist Alan Atwood felt inspired to write an absolutely hilarious article on the ascension of a regular fruit we've all come to appreciate.

adrock2xander has not eaten a banana for over 4 months now. He swears, he has no idea what a banana is.

2006-06-12T01:02:00.000+10:00

Australia's World Cup?

The Beautiful

Image taken off The Green & Gold Army.

The World Cup started 2 days' ago, but for many Australians, the World Cup truly starts today.

The hype and media frenzy built up over the months leading up to Australia's first game against Japan has reached fever pitch (pardon the pun); to the point where Australians are lapping up every 'word of wisdom' randomly rattle off.

Word has it, among the Australian media that is, that Australia will beat Japan. That Japan, though no pushover, is a team of a handful of stars who'll fold under the the big names of Australian players.

That Japan, who qualified easily in the Asian section, did not play and beat South American powerhouse Uruguay in a two-legged game to gain entry into the World Cup.

That Japan, with the legendary Brazilian Zico as coach, still cannot be counted as anything but cannon fodder as Australia possess in their ranks a world-class coach in Guus Hiddink.

It cannot be further from the truth.

Until i arrived 18 months ago, thanks to my familiarity with European football, i could name only 5-6 Australian players off the top of my head. In fact, perhaps due to my 'Asian-ness' and exposure to Asian football, i had less problems recognising the Japanese.

I honestly think the key to this battle lies in midfield. Australian media has waxed lyrical about their first defensive midfield specialist Vince Grella (left). No disrespect to Grella, but what chance does a player have when he's up against the sleek passing unit of attacking midfielders Hidetoshi Nakata and Shunsuke Nakamura (right)?

It'd be most intriguing to see how the Japanese midfielders perform, particularly Nakamura. He has simply been nothing but a revelation since he joined Scottish giants Celtic last summer; some of his deadball deliveries and flair is nothing short of a true genius. Check out some of the godly stuff he's produced in Celtic and Japan colours here.

Of course, Australia will always use the 'divine Harry Kewell' argument. As a Leeds United supporter, I'm not about to bash Kewell on his acrimonious departure from my beleagured club. Rather, i'd like to point out exactly how much Kewell's been playing in the Australian team. If he isn't injured, he's injured. Like, he's making a sore groin muscle look like it's in vogue.

I'll leave the soccer analysis to the experts. Living in Australia, you can't help but get sucked into the 'Australianism' and barrack for Australia. I was, shouting and cheering myself hoarse when Australia qualified for the World Cup on a hot evening in Sydney last November.

I hope you Australian readers will to.

adrock2xander is keenly following the adventures of the Green & Gold team, followed closely by the Czech Republic. He won't deny his Asian heritage, and will be following the misdemeanours of the Japanese and Korean team.

2006-06-10T19:27:00.000+10:00

Football...Eh...Soccer In The Fog

The Beautiful

Gavin and i went to the park for a round of winter soccer today. He's organised a game among his Advertising mates - everyone turned up. Boys and girls. I don't think i've ever had a game of soccer with girls before. I was careful not to misplace my hands around them; last thing i want is a red card!

It also got progressively foggy as the game progressed. Until the onslaught of winter over a week ago, I've never seen so much fog descending upon Melbourne before. It truly is quite a pretty sight, kicking a ball in the fog and watching the misty breath evaporate in it.

2006-06-09T21:20:00.000+10:00

One Monkey Left!

The Beautiful

It's great to see the warm, contented smiles of the media students at 5pm.

Congratulations guys, job well done. It's great to get one media monkey off our backs. It truly was hektik leading up to submission day.

Now for the other media subject. And for some of you out there, an exam too.

As for me, i'm simply too spent and tired to come out with something coherent this time.

I'm just gona rest, knock back some chilled spirits, and watch the World Cup.

2006-06-06T21:43:00.000+10:00

Another Mail To The Students

The Outrageous

Hello it's The Devil here,

it sure is hot in Hell. The weather could use some cooling, the hot chicks could do with some simmering and i can never get martini on the rocks.

Anyway, i've been out today. Once a millenium, on the 6 of the 6 on the 6, Hell releases me from my black gates duties and give me free rein. So what do i do? Go on a holiday! In RMIT Building 6 no less!

I'm hoping the pranks i played today were worth the distress. Lack of paper? Check. Lack of time? Check. John almost screwing up Alana's and Sandra's video file? Check.

How about that blasted email about the deletion of files on your hard drives? You guys liked that? I absolutely loved it. It was so funny to see everyone trying to beat the 5pm deadline, only to realise your precious works and files are still on the system at 8pm. You humans are so pathetic. So gullible and stupid. Next time try raising a pet rock.

But i feel bad. I may be the Devil, but i'm not a meanie. To quote one of your human friends Fraser, this 'Information Holocaust' was a good, twisted joke that was played too far. I sincerely apologise for any missed shifts, frayed tempers or skipped meals.

Your humble Devil,
The Devil.

2006-06-05T22:23:00.000+10:00

In Sickness Or In Health

The Beautiful

Hey wadya know, i'm feeling good enough to watch some TV now.

I'm still shivering and breaking out in cold sweat, but there's nothing like a hearty bowl of warm chicken soup and vegetables.

2006-06-05T18:52:00.000+10:00

When adrock2xander Feels Under The Weather

The Misfit

In our busy lives, we learn to organise our schedules around daily activities be it work, school or commuting.
I learnt it the hard way this morning.

Waking up at 6.30am, i was bathed in sweat and shivering. The heater has been on the entire night so it made no sense. Then it hit me - something was fast approacthing my throat from my guts and i had to throw it out.

I ran to the bathroom and must have thrown out a liter of fluids, last night's dinner and stomach acids.

I felt my forehead; i was burning up.

Any layman would tell you to pop 2 paracetemols, drink lots of warm fluids and get heaps of rest. I had however, an appointment with a lecturer at 10.30am and the camera + tripod to return.

So there i was, walking in 5 degrees cold, with camera gear, shivering, dehydrated, weak and nauseous. It was the worst physical experience this year. I'd have given anything make the pain go away.

I got home at 12pm, on the verge of collapse.

5 minutes later, i'm in bed.

It's almost 7pm now. My first meal of the day? Mushroom soup with some bread. I'm having trouble swallowing it.

Oh my aching body.

2006-06-04T15:11:00.000+10:00

Porn Wars

The Outrageous

You know porn has truly breached the mainstream media when lighsabers start making an appearance in 'porn' flicks.

2006-06-04T10:18:00.000+10:00

Soccer Is?

The Outrageous

The Age writer and Melbourne poet and critic Chris Wallace-Crabbe has written a really Australian-friendly and politically correct article on the beauty of soccer.

What still riles me, and amuses me somewhat, is in the lead up to the World Cup, which is less than a week away at the time of writing, molly-coddled Australians still need to be told and explained what soccer is.

Trying to describe the beauty of soccer to Australians is like shoving a square peg into a round hole.

I've been lapping up articles and stories in the last six months on soccer in Australia. The landscape of Australia soccer changed forever when John Aloisi scored the winning penalty in Sydney against Uruguay last year. I remember that night as clear as crystal. I was cheering and screaming so hard for Australia. My neighbours, stuck in the anachronism that is footy, must have thought their Asian neighbour must have had one too many bowl of rice.

As a passionate soccer fan, i watch and follow any soccer that deserves watching. I was in my late teens when i watched Australia getting dumped out of the World Cup play-offs by Iran in 1997. The pain and the manner of the defeat was hard to swallow, especially when the Australian team - or any team for the matter - was leading 2-0.

Perhaps it's the pain of not qualifying, and the omnipresence of the silly national game Australians call 'football', or footy, that has numbed the soccer senses of Australians.

What's even funnier, is the writer's audacity to mock American football. And this is coming from an Australian. I don't know which is funnier, the dim-witted Australian, or comparing American football to Australian football.

Here're some excerpts from the article that had me chuckling from where i sat.

"This game is actually football, dominated by feet kicking a ball accurately. Thus it is more precisely named than any other such sport, even though there is some beautifully weighted passing or brilliant shooting for goals in the AFL."

Precise passes? Of course, it's only possible when you do it with HAND or the goal's 6 stories high and 50-feet wide. Or whatever the dimensions are.

"To start at the top of the range, Manchester United shops make a fortune, for example, even in Singapore."

It's Singapore, 'nuff said. It's a massive bandwagon there. Nobody has a clue about soccer there. They'll barrack for the team their pet rock is following.

"What is also evident is that parents like soccer for their boys and girls, especially mothers. It is felt to be a sport in which little kids are not going to get themselves injured, touch wood."

Here's a list of injuries i've sustained since i've started kicking a soccer ball:
- an internal bleeding on my right ankle, which needed operating on and left me on crutches for 2 months
- countless number of ankle sprains and abrasions
- popped right kneecap
- lost vision
- chipped tooth

Not so injury-free now huh.

"More annoying, to fans of high-scoring games such as basketball or one-day cricket, is the lack of goals. Plenty of Australian viewers, casual viewers, scoff at the low scores, those dogged 1-0 wins, and the like."

You are stupid and shallow. The rest of the world isn't.

2006-06-03T10:17:00.000+10:00

adrock2xander, The Shoplifter?

The Outrageous

So security guards stopped me twice, in shops across downtown Melbourne yesterday, claiming i'm shoplifting.

This was how i was outfitted yesterday while wandering the shops looking for a video game with my mate Harry.

Ooh yes, my ecumbrance is light and i have two free hands to scratch my balls. What are these security guards thinking? Do i look like a bloody shoplifter? When i look like i'm ready for urban warfare?

Seriously, get a fucking life. If you're bored out of your mind and have no one to pick on, at least pick on someone with your level of intelligence. Or go touch yourself in one corner, that way no one's gona be thinking you're loafing on your job.

p.s: adrock2xander apologises for the poor quality of the photographs. Next time adjust the settings Harry!

2006-06-02T13:33:00.000+10:00

To My Prof Comm Mates

The Misfit

Hello beauteous ladies and scrumptious-looking men,

in light of the deadlines, here's a little amuse-me email from your resident Asian redneck. Sit back and have a laugh. And i promise, nothing inflammatory here. *peeved grin*

As some of you may already NOT know, the PR folks have organised a Communications Cocktail Night and are actively (sometimes desperately) selling tickets.

I'm really impressed with the PR folks - not so much for their public speaking skills (ha!) but for their ability to organise regular activities for PR and to a lesser extent, the rest of Building 6 folks to mingle.

Which strikes me as strange. How are Prof Comm students not as cool as PR students? We are the jack of all trades, surely we can stake a claim as to being cooler than them no? So how is it that Prof Comm students don't hang out at all? Such is the bane of our lives that the existence of friendship in RMIT does not exist? Haha...

Take a look around us. The PR folks have ASPRA (that's Australian Students Public Relations Assoc. for the uninformed) - they've been partying as a group for as long as we know. The Journalism students have their pub crawl and trivia nights - which are fun. The Media (2nd year onwards) students communicate regularly on their blogs and are a very tight knit bunch. The Prof Comm students attend lectures in a zombie-like manner, line up in single file, wave bye after a lecture and return to their cocoons for hibernation.

Yessssss....surely Prof Comm students can't be the social rejects that we're making ourselves to be?!

Prof Comm has a underlying problem - students are geared to major in their own interests after 2nd year and see less of other prof commies as the semesters go by. Which is sad, as from what i've seen, this year 2 batch has every ingredient a soap opera needs.

We have the deviants, the social rejects, the fashionistas, the trumpets, the coat tail riders, the reclusives, the absentees...i believe there's space for normal ones in there but last i checked there were none lol.

Let's see what we can do next semester, or even this holidays. We spend 3 years together pursuing a degree, the least we can do is get to know each other. Who knows what our paths may lead to in the future? What's one more friend to know? =O

Not a sale tactic, but if anyone's interested in the cocktail night, it's on wed 7th June in Perseverance Hotel, 196 Brunswick St, North Fitzroy. Get there at 8pm. It's $10/tix and you get bar tab and drink specials. Did i mention live jazz too?

Head on down, let your hair down for abit and congratulate ourselves for a job well done this semester. Of coz WMT and EMT aren't due yet, but who's counting?

Anyway, here's to a great holidays. Safe sex, don't drink and drive and remember to vote for Pedro.

Most tenderly,
John 'i love cheeseburgers' Ng

2006-05-31T22:50:00.000+10:00

Savers Is Sexy

The Beautiful

One of Melbourne's finest bargain shops, and it took me over a year to patronise it.

I'd swung by the Sydney Road branch of Savers this arvo (that's afternoon for you non-Aussie folks out there) and nearly went potty buying good things that come in low prices.

Here's a list of what i bought:

1) 4 funky designed soup bowls - they went at 30 cents each!
2) 2 teacups and saucers
3) 3 beautiful ties
4) a jacket
5) a skirt
6) a sleeveless top
7) a short sleved shirt

And all this for a whopping A$48!

I still can't believe it! I've waited so long to shop at Savers! I must be the most dim-witted man on the planet!

2006-05-31T22:05:00.000+10:00

Kew Down, It's Just Sex

The Outrageous

A huge furore over an advertising billboard has erupted in the prestigious inner eastern Melbourne suburb of Kew.

My opinion? What's the big fuss all about anyway?

Condoms are 'tastefully' positioned at checkouts to remind customers to wear their Trojans. Companies spend million of dollars reminding women to keep their vaginas in decent and sanitary conditions. Sex for hire ads are 'discreetly' located at the back end of magazines.

Let's face it. Sex, or the art of reminding you of it, is everywhere.

There's nothing we can do to stop it or lessen the impact. Everybody needs to have sex, sex is beautiful. If people can't even laugh at a tastefully done sex ad no more, how are they able to laugh at themselves when they come in 3 minutes?

2006-05-29T03:41:00.000+10:00

Hot White Man

The Beautiful

So i'm sitting in Starbucks along Swanston Street.

A good looking white guy, maybe late twenties gets my attention. It's obvious he isn't from Australia - aussie blokes (popped collars) and girls (tight jeans and belt) all look and dress the same - which piqued my interest.

He says he's from LA and new to town and was wondering if i knew any cool places to go out. He's actually nice, physically fit, and strikes me as a nice guy. Good pick-up - the conversation is friendly, and even though i'm not really keeping up my end of it, he keeps it going for a little bit without being pushy at all.

Come to think of it, i'm kind of disappointed that i didn't reciprocate his come ons.

2006-05-29T01:37:00.000+10:00

Final Nail In Footy's Coffin

The Beautiful

Perhaps Australians should wake up from the dream that is their idea of 'football'; if they can't take a hint from me they ought to take it from the Socceroos coach Guus Hiddink.

"I think [soccer] in Australia has become so big now, although you try all kinds of sports with another-shaped object. I don't really know what it is, and you do something like that," he said, grimacing and making a handball gesture.

"The real game is growing and growing, all the world is playing this game and it will be the biggest game here as well, despite the other games you try and invent."

Good one Guus. Best quote ever. Australians need to open their bloody eyes and stop insulating themselves from their 'football'. Pah.

2006-05-28T12:21:00.000+10:00

Louis Vuitton - Fashion Disaster

The Outrageous

At 3.43am this morning, all Professional Communication students were inundated with what was the most peculiar of emails.

The contents of this email were possibly the most horrifying i've ever seen in many years. Nothing has ever prepared me for this. No amount of smelling salts will knock the sense back into me.

I give you, a potential fashion disaster in our program:

"Hi there, got the following bags for sale:

Louis Vuitton Denim Theda Bag (pics via email!)
Louis Vuitton Cerises (Cherry) Theda Bag (pics via email!)
Louis Vuitton 2005 green shoulderbag with gold monogram + matching make up case.
Louis Vuitton Mini Pochette bag

All items going cheeaaap!!! Clearing my closet & need the cash."

Honey, i know it's all hunky dory with designer goods; i like them designer brands too. But coming from where i'm from - the oldest Professional Communication student across all 3 years i'd say - would you believe me when i say LV goods are for rich mistresses with too many cocktail functions to attend and too many functions to gatecrash? I've been around the block far too many times to see fashion disasters fall prey to ~~public~~ adrock2xander's opinion, in this case, you (whoever you are).

I know you're not rich, coz you 'need the cash'. LV-toting folks NEVER need the cash. Cash needs them.

I suggest you need a complete revamp of your wardrobe. I'm having you pegged as an early 20s loafer with no sartorial know-how. Come up to me in uni and beg for my advice. I'll slap you two times over with a large trout and consider taking you under my tutelage. Anyone who wears LV at this age will die at 40 single, lonely and touching herself to sleep every night.

Please, stop embarrassing yourself. No one's envious of your LV products. Everyone's laughing at you.

2006-05-27T14:16:00.000+10:00

adrock2xander For Miss Universe

The Misfit

Becoming Miss Universe is every girls dream.

So when you become Miss Universe, what would be your first form of action?

If adrock2xander were Miss Universe, he'd pose for Playboy. He reckons all Miss Universes should be a centerfold girl. Now if only Jennifer Hawkins...

And yes, shaved pussy please.

2006-05-27T00:21:00.000+10:00

Hot Water, That's All I Want

The Misfit

Dearest TXU, your reputation as Australia's gas and electricity supplier must precede you at times. You get so big headed from your swelling coffers you barely have time to tend to lesser issues no?

At the time of writing, i've just stepped out of an icy cold shower in the middle of an arctic Autumn chill. It's 11 degrees celcius now.

"Why is this dipshit showering with icy cold water anyway?" you may wonder.

Well, if you are fucking paying attention to your heaters in a northern suburb, you'll find that the heater breaks down every 2 days. I'm paying $100 a month on electricity and gas bills and expect the basic necessities from you. I'm not even asking for a fucking stuffed koala bear every Christmas. All i ask for is hot running water everyday. I risk pneumonia showering with cold water. It's fucking autumn. Temperatures are hovering at 10-14 degrees everyday. Does the idea of dousing yourself in cold water sound appealing to you? Does it?

DOES IT?

Good job there TXU. Gas and electricity supplier my ass. Suck my fucking Asian cock.

Very very angry customer,
adrock2xander

2006-05-24T21:49:00.000+10:00

To Shane, From Samantha (& John )

The Outrageous

My dearest Samantha has run out of gift ideas for her partner Shane. I took it upon myself to write Shane a short poem.

"Dearest Shane - ive ran out of lovely things to tell you.
So i got desperate and ran to Mr Google.
So, do not profess your detest of me at the sight of one poem.
My attraction for you is beyond one poem.
It's more, eh, abstract than that.
As you can see i'm running out of words to tell you.
You're so beautiful no words can describe you.
p.s: thank you Mr Google."

2006-05-24T21:06:00.000+10:00

X-Men 3

The Outrageous

I'm questioning why the latest X-Men:

- isn't about the Dark Phoenix saga

- doesn't have Gambit

- has a skinny Beast

- still portrays Rogue 5 years too young

- still puts Magneto through all the trouble of wearing an upturned-bucket

- has a pre-Apocalypse Angel

- (Harry quoted this - LOL) "And Beast is also Frasier"

Yes. Why?

Feeling cheated with the characterisation of the latest Marvel flick, i decided to take quick peek at imdb.com for the full credits of X-Men 3.

I almost died. Everyone in Marvel should shoot themselves in the head.

I'm now questioning why the latest X-Men:

- still gives so much screentime to Mystique, who is at best, a secondary character in the comics

- has Pyro but no Gambit. Again. WTF PYRO? That lame Brotherhood of Evil Mutants outcast!!!

- lists Colossus below Kitty Pryde i.e Shadowcat. Colussus has so much more leverage in the comics. Not that phasing through solid objects aren't cool, but how dare they leave Colossus to the most miniscule of roles?

- Multiple Man!!! ROFL...i can barely remember him as Moira MacTaggert's assistant

- Siryn and Leech!? They're including far too many characters into the plot

- Kid Omega? OMG i had to google this fella. Too vague.

- Psylocke, right at the bottom of the credits. This director doesn't know his X-Men from his nuts. One of the coolest characters, reserved to die in a peripheral role