Thursday, December 30

 
Missin meat balls

The news today reported that of the thousands of tourists from Europe travellin in and around the disaster areas...Sweden's the most severely affected...with at least 1500 Swedish tourists missin...

Which got me thinkin...on the 18th of December...a week before the killer tsunamis hit...micheLe and i had headed out to Coral Island (off Phuket) for a day of sun and sea...the driver had picked us up from our hotel and drove us over to the pier in Chalong Bay where hundreds of eager tourists alike waited for colorful speed boats to moor...where they'll be taken to paradise...

I took this picture while waitin for our boat to arrive...and though i didnt know it at that time...micheLe and i had lunch with the 2 Swedish ladies in the foreground of the picture...strikin up a conversation...they told us it was their first week in Phuket and they intended to stay for 14 days...no doubt the freezin winters back home were a good reason for the length of the trip here...they're nice ladies throughout...




When the waves hit Phuket...it would have been their second week of holidays...

I hope they survived...

 
Such sadness...

The death toll has risen to over 60,000 and risin by the second...

Im so very disturbed and saddened by it...

Im still prayin for the victims...

 
Therapeutic? Nope...Rich...Yes!!

The shoppin bug bit me hard today...HARD...

Post-Christmas sale it is not...but i decided i needed a good pair of boots to last me the 3 years i'll be spendin in Melbourne, Australia...so i purchased a hardy pair of brown Doc Martens...




Then i thought...fuck it...im sick and tired of fightin with my brother over the only digital camera that our family owns...so yeah...i went out and bought the best mid-range digital camera in the market...the Canon A95...



Where do i even find all this money? Somebody STOP ME...*chuckles*

Wednesday, December 29

 
Why are Singaporeans so fuckin stupid and rude?

Earlier today in the office...a Chinese contractor came to fix a couple of faulty lights...lookin for a colleague of mine...he mouthed: "XXXXXXXX?*" Thing is...XXXXXXXX has just left the office so i stood up and told the contractor in English... "He's not in the office"

That fuckin gook replied in fuckin Mandarin (translated): "Please tell him that im here to fix the lights and i'll be right outside the office"

Ok slant-eyes and flat nose...whatever...


I hate it when people instantly assume that you are of a particular race or speak a lanaguge that befits your skin color...yes i do have yellow skin and i am...a Chinese...but does that mean i speak or understand any of the pidgin derivatives of Chinese? Fuckin hell NO...

As a man who was unfortunate enough to be born of Chinese origins...ive spent my entire life dispellin myths and tales to stupid fucks who think that a Chinese ought to speak Mandarin...or a dark skinned fella HAS to be Indian...or a Caucasian's an American...

Too many times...ive spied ignorant Singaporean fucks approachin my Indonesian Chinese friends to ask for directions in fuckin Mandarin...only to be told off by me...

"Hey it's rude not to ask if he speaks any Mandarin in the first place...btw he's Indonesian Chinese...he speaks no Mandarin...only Bahasa Indonesian and English..."

Or how bout classic incidents when im hangin out with my Sikh girlfriend...and foolish Singaporeans assume she's a fuckin Tamil-speakin chick...coz hey...ignorant fucks think to themselves: "She's got Indian features so she must speak Tamil..."

NO THEY DONT...

Dont these close-minded fucks get it? The world has gotten bigger over the decades...inter-racial datin and migration has caused a mess of a identity to human beings...what was once crystal clear to everyone back in the 1700s cannot be practised today...fuckin Singaporeans still register shock when they encounter a Caucasian speakin Mandarin...or a Chinese datin outside their skin color (i.e yours truly)...a dark skinned bloke not speakin Tamil...

I pray that one day...the world will become a better place...where people will look past skin colors and embrace them for WHO they are and respect for WHAT they have...

I sign off sayin this...

My girlfriend is a fair-skinned Sri Lankan...she's not an Eurasian..yes she speaks Mandarin...and no she does not use coconut oil for her hair and smells bad...

Grow up Singaporeans...always remember to ASK IF YOU SPEAK A PARTICULAR LANGUAGE BEFORE YOU OPEN YA GAPIN ORIFICE...

*Names have been masked to protect the identity

Tuesday, December 28

 
Devastation & Disaster

Life can play the funniest jokes on you sometimes...when the whole world is up at arms and fearful of the next terrorist attack...along comes tsunamis...


Killer tsunami waves that reaches 30 feet high at speeds of 400 kph have completely decimated the outlyin coastal areas of Indonesia...Thailand...Sri Lanka...India and the Maldives...what's especially poignant and sad...is that Sri Lanka and Phuket, Thailand are both tourist destinations ive visited over the last 6 months...in fact...for those of you not in the know...i just returned from Phuket...with a week to spare before the incident...God knows what would have happened if micheLe and i have decided to visit Phuket a week after...

That's micheLe & i just 9 days ago on Patong Beach, Phuket...the waters were a beautiful bluish-green...note the number of yachts and small boats in the distance...






This is what Patong Beach looks like today...



The force of the recedin waters sucked in all the boats and ships...and spat them back out at the beach in and around Phuket...



The abomination that started it all...in Sumatra, Indonesia...



The exact spot where the monster was unleashed...



To get a better clarity of how awesome Mother Nature's fury is...imagine lookin at the utter decimation from space...



This is Patong Beach, Phuket taken from the room of a 4th floor hotel...just 9 days ago...i was standin right below the 'hotel' sign (bottom left of picture)...not 80 meters away...is our hotel...the entire stretch of Patong is now submerged in water...



As the water recedes...it leaves behind debris...debris that was once a proud member of a beautiful tourist spot...



My last evenin in Phuket was spent sittin right next to this Starbucks along Patong Beach...micheLe and i had a ball of a time sippin cocktails...cant imagine the turn of events within such a short period of time...



The remains of a small ship lies wasted along Patong Beach as a survivor walks along the beach...



The sun sets...the chair calls out to its master...




Im so glad to be alive...had things been different...i may not have a chance to blog this post...let's pray for the thousands of victims in the region...








 
R.I.P

The skank has closed her site...ROFL...

Mass more hunts Germaine...admit it...you thought you were the best...but losin out on caustique rebuttals to a 26yo writer with a proven command of the English language was too much for you to bear...a 17yo hoe like you need a better grasp of the universal language before competin with bigwigs like me...

GG NO RE...


 
Resign

I submitted my letter of resignation last Wednesday with my depature to Melbourne, Australia loomin...here's the letter:

Dear XXXXX,

This letter is to inform you that I wish to terminate my employment with XXXXX effective one month from today.

I want to express my gratitude for a rewarding employment experience with XXXXX and with you personally. This decision to pursue my further studies was not an easy one. But it is right for me as I work towards fulfilling my goals. I hope you will respect my position in this matter.

My efforts until my end date will be to wrap up any outstanding work here and turn over my responsibilities as smoothly as possible. Please let me know what you expect so this process is completed to your satisfaction. Again, thank you for all that you’ve done for me.

Yours sincerely,

John Xander NG


With the 21st of January a public holiday...my last day at the agency is the 20th of January...that gives me 11 days to tie up all my red tape in Singapore before i leave...

Monday, December 27

 
The sabbatical in G-Spot Tropical

I sit here in the office with my skin all grilled to a crispy red...skin peelin like a reptilian humanoid...skin smartin from touch like a leper...no thanks to the sun in Thailand...

Ahh yes Thailand...perhaps Thailand conjurs up picturesque images like this...




Or death-defyin-patience-testin traffic jams like this...



Hey or even pay an ugly man-woman for sexual services...after all that's what Thailand is famous for...



Movin from point A to point B in Bangkok is a breeze...as the 'tuk tuks' are very cheap and efficient...but why breathe in all the carbon monoxide and fumes in a sweaty environment...



When you can travel in the relative comforts of the modern subway station that looks remarkably similar to Singapore's transit system...




When the Pee Bug strikes...have no fear...for the public washroom's just round the corner...at a basement bargain price of 1 Baht (S$0.04) you get to utilise a clean...dry and fragrant washroom that has no unsightly pubes chokin the urinals or errant pee stains on the floor *coughs* Singapore public washrooms *coughs*



Sufferin from vertigo? No worries mate...the Baiyoke Tower in Bangkok is the one-stop solution to your height-conquerin fears...




At 304 meters tall...the Baiyoke Tower is the tallest building in Thailand and South East Asia...and has the distinction of being the world's tallest reinforced structure and the 3rd tallest all-hotel building in the world...

Gettin up the tower is a breeze...elevators are fast and silent...




I chose to eat at the Sky Restaurant...sittin on the 75th storey with a paranomic view of Bangkok at night should have whetted my appetite...but the food was so fuckin tasteless i could have just sucked mints for dinner...oh the displeasure i showed...



The one savin grace though...is the view...everythin looks so small from above...it's quite heartenin to look down at all the morons who're contented to wait out the incessant traffic jams that clog Bangkok's artery...



While morons head to Bangkok for the rinse-and-repeat shoppin experience in the comforts of air-conditioned shoppin in the city center...i decided to crawl in the dark depths of Pratunam market's bowels... where the deals are cheap...and bargainin takes on a whole new meanin altogether...450Baht? Oh no worries mate...let's start with 200 Baht and we shall talk business...200 baht no go? Ok let's leave...no deal...besides...the shops just seem to go on forever and im sure we can find another top in this mess of a market...



Quite quaint though...are the eateries in Pratunam market...all dingy and dark...yet the locals seem to find the flavor...somewhat...appetizin...


This stall's doin brisk business...sellin noodles...



How bout a foul tastin sour and spicy appetiser that hits you like an 10-tonner?



With our tummy feelin all queasy at the sight of dodgy food...we decided to amuse ourselves with the wonderful use of English...this shop obviously has Nazi links...



This shop tries to use linen as a business front...hey morons havnt you watched The Godfather trilogy???



At least sunny Phuket offers some respite from the hustle-&-bustle of Bangkok...



The sun got too much for micheLe and i...so we decided to play in the sand...micheLe has designs on her boyfriend with man boobs...





Speakin of micheLe...here's a beautiful picture of my pretty one...and yes...this is a first...for the very first time in 5 months...im puttin up a picture of my girlfriend...completely unprecedented...ogle away...



I dont know what to decide...if the flower's prettier than her...or is it the other way round? :O

A picture of us is in order...afterall everyone of you have been readin bout her for months...



Damnit she really likes that flower...

All the time spent in the sea with my underwear makes for wet clothin...so here i am attemptin to dry it with a hair dryer...and no...im not a virgin...



Heaps of pictures to put up...im too bloody lazy anyway...besides...who HASNT been to Thailand? Nothin interestin that's worth mentionin i reckon :O





Saturday, December 25

 
MERRY FUCKIN CHRISTMAS EVERYONE...

 

ROFLS...

That 16/17 year old gook on the table is the skank...even if ya not...i couldnt care less...all gooks look the same to me...



Come on Germaine...surely you dont mean to make me take you seriously...i mean...you claim to speak better English than me...but you blog is littered with specks of Hokkien...Malay...local colloquisms...Singlish and what-nots...

My 400-odd posts blog contains no artificial personalities whatsoever...

Be yaself yeah hairless bush?

A high school kid with no tits and bush...
I'll rape you easily and cum all over you...
A hoe like you would fetch a high price in the flesh business...fresh virgins...
LOL and u think ya better than me? Come on...im waitin for a smart juvenile retort...
And mind you fresh tight pussy...i dont have to resort to bannin you from commentin...unlike the 'oh so superior' one...

Fuckin get in the line and spread eagle ya legs and leme taste ya warm pussy yeah? Mmmmmm....small and tight Asian tits...

*chuckles*



Thursday, December 23

 
*LOLLERcakes*

The skank who's talkin thrash bout me online is 17 years old...

Get a job already hoe...

GG NO RE K THX NOOB

 
FACT OF THE DAY



The producers of the movie Meet the Fockers couldnt use "Fockers" in the title until they found someone who actually had that last name....

Imagine that...

Tuesday, December 21

 
Closer

Everyone is talkin bout Natalie Portman's (semi-)nude scenes in Mike Nichols' new film Closer...and DAMMMMMNnnnnn Natalie is too hot...


 
More losers

Googled my online handle 'adrock2xander' and found a hilarious link...some female gook has written bout me...oh the laughs she gives me...apparently it stemmed from the online blog-wars earlier last month...she must have taken my caustic verbatim to heart...here's a sample:

"Online wars are so very enjoyable because when you obviously can argue better than your opponent it's fantastic to sit back and watch. Watch how your opponent dishes out vulgarities when they don't know what to say. Watch their childish minds go on fire when they are cornered by a lot of humble allies and they just go "fuck you! asshole! stupid!" In these cases I will just smirk with an absolute sense of superiority because

(1) I have better English
(2) I can punctuate properly
(3) I understand Chinese

HAH! I look down on you! I am superior to you! Nanny nanny poo poo!"


Funny...last i checked...

(1) Your pictures betray ya faceless identity online that has attitude written all over...everythin you worked so hard for goes up in smokes coz you have single eyelids, a flat nose and no tits...GG Asian hoe...gettin spanked by Caucasians with an Asian fetish must be really satisfyin...
(2) It's been 11 years since ive found another gook who speaks better or reiterates than i do...
(3) I wrote for magazines and sites online...have you?
(4) Your friends are all gooks...
(5) Oh...and in the fictitious world of online that is Blog...you can be anyone you want...so yeah...i chose to believe i cant speak a word of Mandarin...
(6) Yes hoe...it's Mandarin ya talkin about...not Chinese...that's a race...not a language...get ya facts right...
(7) I didnt go 'Fuck You! Ass hole!'...not that i remembered...im too cultured for that...smart ones disguise their profanities with sarcasm...
(8) Remember it was more than 10 bloggers vs adrock2xander...the tactics you used were:
a - Herding: Safety in numbers for the comfort zone
b - Deletin comments: Oh the schoolyard! *gasps*
c - Usin Mandarin to hurl abuses: Funny...if ya English was that good you wouldnt need to fall back on that...
(9) How is knowledge of Mandarin a sign of superiority? Apologies noob...English is the way to go...

(10) Gooks like you mix ya Mandarin with a smatterin of English, Malay and local colloquism to get ya point across...you dont speak Mandarin...you speak Singlish...
(11) And that in itself...is all the argument i need...
(12) Oh...and my penis isnt 2 inches long...last i checked it's performin wonders to the woman i love...
(13) Shall i continue?

Go back to flame school and report to me in 3 years yeah skank?




 
Listen

Back at work...

In the office now...feet tappin to the frantic beats of Danny Tenaglia's Global Underground: Athens...

Nothin beats pluggin into good music on days you would rather sleep in...

Nothin...

Monday, December 20

 
The Return of the Mack

Im back from Thailand.

Wednesday, December 15

 
Break

I'll be takin a 5 days sabbatical from the evil that is work...headin towards bustlin Bangkok and sunny Phuket in Thailand...

Be back on Monday...

Cheers mate...


Monday, December 13

 
Anonymous Fuck



You dont wana wake up in the mornin not knowin who you fucked over the weekend...

 
Phat Paris



Damn Paris is phat...

 
I hate Christmas



It is that special time of year again...where picture perfect postcards of fallin snow and happy families are depicted in greetin cards...where everyone gets to celebrate the awesomeness that is God's magic baby who was born many years ago on December 25th...now who the fuck told you to be all merry in this special festive period? God certainly didnt tell me to be merry...coz based on the number of issues and problems that increased on a weekly basis...i would think that dwelling on at least one of the following things is a really cool thing to have...

Figure this out...my life is fucked up...coz:

1) My kid brother's a fuckin douche-bag and i would kill him if i could...

2) For the first time in many years im not alone for Christmas because my gorgeous girlfriend is around...and that means i wouldnt be wakin up on Boxin Day...all sloshed with champagne and turkey...with a chick lyin naked next to me in bed...whose name i do not know...

3) I was so focused on pleasurin my girlfriend it took me 4 hours to achieve orgasm...now tell me how stressful that is...

4) My parents are gettin divorced...

5) My waistline is beginnin to show it's middle age...burgeonin at an alarmin rate in spite of my frantic attempts to lose em...

6) I refer to some foods as "comfort foods"...coz my school term in Melbourne, Australia looms...and that freaks me out most times...goin back to school after all these years...

7) I'll be so fuckin old when i start classes...everyone's gona be in the late teens...while im old enough to be a Grandpop...

8) Im gona give up my job...that means no fuckin money...

9) I get to hear millions of people bitch about how they HATE Christmas because the MALL IS SO CROWDED and their annoyin bratty kids want the latest PLAYSTATION when they all ready have like four game consoles...fuckin idiots...

Now who else agrees with me on this?





 
Joe

My friend from Scotland...Joe of the Woolamaloo Gazette seems to think there's a correlation between my oversized hickey and the Transformers...

Hmmm...now all i need is a bigger hickey and the reason behind Bush's re-election will be revealed...

Honey you up for it?

 
Is Blogger.com retarded?

It sure is...judgin from the rate it's updatin my posts...word count and number of posts...

Accordin to Blogger my last post was in early November...FFS BLOGGER!! If you want Bloggin to be the next big thing...you'ld have to do a lot more than offerin extra options in your template and stupid CD-ROMS...

Either change the way you recognise posts from Asia or have a complete upheaval of ya Blogger.com staff...they're fuckin incompetant...

Sunday, December 12

 
Transformers vs Ukraine

With the American elections takin a back seat...global attention is turned towards the farcical Ukraine elections...i took notice of a coat-of-arms/abstract symbol that appears on the campaign paraphernalia of Ukraine's Viktor Yanukovich...the prime minister with ties to old Russia who "defeated" opposition candidate Viktor Yushchenko in the recent disputed election:



Upon seein the image...an amused smile was written across my face as i was immediately reminded of the coat-of-arms of another organization with ties to totalitarianism and oppression: The Decepticons...

The Decepticons are the nefarious crew of morphing robots (from the amazin late 80s and early 90s cartoon Transformers) devoted to the destruction of the Autobots...a group known for its progressive and populist approaches to freedom and justice...

Here's the Decepticons logo next to Yanukovich's logo:



Compare:

- the peaks on the sides
- the eyelets in the lower third (inverted in the Decep's logo)
- the empty spaces on the edges of the lower third
- the strong diagonal lines
- the peak in the middle
- and of course the general shape of the shield

Really...if you just add two lines (one straight, one v-shaped), you get a close match:



Are Yanukovich and the Decepticons sharin a graphic designer? LOL...maybe the Ukrainians shouldnt elect this guy...the last thing we need is another totalitarian man in power (Ahem...Singapore's government comes to mind)...you'd never know...

And what of the Autobots? There are a couple of similarities to the Autobots' logo as well:



The main similarities are the strong vertical center line and the location of the eyes...however where the Autobots' logo is horizontally oriented...the Decepticons' and Yanukovich's logos seem more vertically or diagonally oriented...perhaps...in the perfect world...everythin would be more horizontal...now if only i knew what that meant...

Saturday, December 11

 
Captain Hickey



That's a giant-sized December issue of Captain Hickey on my neck...all thanks to my beautiful micheLe...just imagine the trauma i had to go through when i returned to work yesterday...the heckles from colleagues...amused looks from strangers in the know...and just general embarassment from everyone else...

Thank you God for makin Captain Hickey such an obvious indication of love...thank you...


Friday, December 10

 
The state of governin in Singapore

Guess which autocratic 20th century leader of a high-tech, wealthy, nation-state wrote this?

"The state must act as guardian of a millenial future in the face of which the wishes and the selfishness of the individual must appear as nothing and submit"

"It will not be possible to dispense with Parliament. But their councillors will then actually give counsel... They are working institutions and not voting machines. This principle - absolute responsibility unconditionally combined with absolute authority - will gradually breed an elite of leaders such as today, in this era of irresponsible parliamentarianism, is utter inconceivable."

The earlier i leave this fucked-up schizophrenic country that's run by an overlord of a government that has Communist leanings and tendencies...the better...

Fuck you Singapore...Fuck you PAP...may your white haired leader die a tragic death...and let them declare it a national holiday...

Thursday, December 9

 
G-Spot

I found it yesterday afternoon.

Best orgasm.

Ever.


Wednesday, December 8

 
5000...

hits...in just under 12 months...

That's quite an achievement...

Considerin...

My site's so bloody obscure...

*raises glass to toast*

Here's to another 5000 hits...

 
I like Subway sandwiches...



Those who hang out with me heaps would know that when the Hunger Bug attacks me...and im in the vicinity of Subway...i turn into this blood-thirsty Steak-&-Cheese-with-Xtra-olives monstrosity...

Walkin to the bus-stop with the bus that'll take me home earlier this evenin...i sung a silly 'lil poem with a foot-long Steak-&-Cheese sandwich in my hands...

"I carry my Subway like a gun
It makes the walk home much more fun"


Not only is it silly...it's not really true...the real reasons i tend to carry a Subway sandwich in the manner of a rifle - one hand on top at one end... the other supportin beneath it at the other end - stem from the followin observations:

1. It's a Subway sandwich. 'Nuff said...

2. The sandwich basically needs to retain its horizontal orientation for the duration of the journey to keep the sauce from runnin out of any particular openings...

3. I could carry it with two hands under the sandwich...but this looks unnecessarily like a gesture of supplication to some higher power..."Oh Lord! Take the Subway sandiwch from me! Oh Great One! I dont need it! Subjugate me and the sandwich!"

4. I could carry it with two hands graspin the top of the sandwich, but this potentially looks even stupider...what with gravity tuggin the sandwich the other way...plus it requires extra physical effort AND would probably result in me just squishing the bread a whole bunch before I reach my destination...squishy Subway sandwich...a big No-No...

5. Ive a Country Road shoulder bag that doesnt quite have 'sandwich carrier' in its mind...im sure the designers of a bag should think that up in the future...any shoulder bags that can accomodate a Subway sandwich...mmm...*dreams and smiles*

So...the only practical carryin option open to me that doesnt cause any of the above problems is the one hand on top and one beneath 'rifle grip'...

Yeah...as if the 6-inch pistol in my pants aint enough...

:O

Tuesday, December 7

 
Football

Im a huge football fan...i thought ive seen it all...but this football celebration surely takes the cake:

Read Article



 
Amazin

What an amazin 7 days it has been...i wished i could play it all back...the sheer scale and magnitude of the events that has unfolded over the 7 days...and yes...even goin back to a good 5 months ago...it just boggles my mind...

1) Almost 5 months ago...i left my girlfriend micheLe in Melbourne*...we both have jobs in our own cities... life goes on for us...

2) Over the last 5 months...micheLe and i kept an amazin long-distance relationship...believin in open communication and trust...

3) The pain of micheLe's absence was partially numbed with the arrival of the wonderful intern of Chile, Stefanie...whom i wrote bout in heaps...for 4 months she was the best company ever...

4) Last Tuesday on 30 November Stefanie left...she left Singapore with fond memories...and a dried tear stain from me...

5) On 4 December...4 days after Stefanie left...i find myself givin the phenomenal of an event Zoukout a miss to be at the airport again...(that's right mates...adrock2xander...givin Zoukout a miss...)...one of my good friends Sandeep returned from Brisbane, Australia...armed with a Bachelor's...cool beans...

6) And 2 hours later...the love of my life flies home from Melbourne, Australia...into my lovin arms...

How queer and quaint life is...to think Sandeep and micheLe return on the very same day...with micheLe touchin down exactly 4 days after Stefanie flies off...what sick jokes God plays on me...

I must excuse my lack of posts lately...these days are spent with micheLe...24 hours a day doesnt seem to be enough for us...catchin up on a lost 5 months can be rather...uhm...exhaustin if you know what i mean...*chuckles*...

*Ive had friends askin why ive never EVER posted a picture of micheLe on my blog...i talk and rave bout her all day everyday...yet all they get are glimpses of her feet...i must apologise...with her return...i guess ive no need to be selfish no more...she's back...and im anxious to show her to the world...im so proud of her...

Watch this space...




Saturday, December 4

 
Blonde = Boob?

Anyone who's familiar with the women on my Top 10 Most Beautiful Women list could have an educated conlusion that im a HUGE fan of brunettes and dark brown/blonde hotties...blondies dont really turn me on that much...

That's a given...there arent many hot blonde BLONDES that i'd like to bang...but Heidi Klum is definitely one of em...again...anyone familiar with my previous posts would know how excited i got over Heidi's appearances in the Victoria's Secret Angels Across America tour...perhaps...this is the reason why...



Picture on the left is Heidi PRE-Boob job...picure on the right is Heidi POST-Boob job...wowzers...

Her new attributes certainly increased her popularity no? :O

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