Thursday, September 30

 
micheLe

micheLe smells so good...i could just inhale her scent for hours on end...well...i kinda did last night...i dreamt of the moments we spent together 3 months back...that we were curled up on the couch...watching DVDs and just being silly...im still not sure why she likes fall asleep right next to me...at times dribblin (lol)...but it's the silly little things she does that make me so inextricably fond of her...

Many lovin glances at her dreamy countenance later...i finally muster enough courage to awaken her slightly...pick her up from the couch...cradle her in my arms and walk to the bed...i have no idea what time i fell asleep that night...but i know i didnt sleep long before i was woken up by the most beautiful girl in the world...starin at me with her big expressive brown eyes...oh those eyes...i could have stared at them to fuel my hunger...soul food...before falling asleep again...gah i havent felt so love-sick since i can remember...

Now i have to figure out Christmas and New Year plans...with her around this year it's gonna be a brand new experience for me...i dont remember being so in love with anyone in the December period...for all my relationships strangely die off late November...ive spent my past 25 years welcoming the New Year alone...for once in my life...im gonna be usherin it with her...im excited...im gonna have to savor the moment forever...plant my lips onto her plump juicy cherries and suck her dry at the stroke of midnight...

Im conflicting between protectin micheLe from my craptastic past and savor this new beginnin we have...she needs to know what kind of person i really was waaaay back in my teens...she has to accept that it was part of who i am...but also what moulded me to what i am now...i hope she figures all that out before the first fight and she finds out how crazy i really am...there's just so much more to me than just humor...affable...laugh-a-minute and endearin...i hope she's able to see through all that...put up with my turd and love me for who i am...

The sick thing is im already plannin a life with micheLe...im financially independant...but incapable of supportin a family...it's mind-bogglin just thinkin of the possibilities micheLe and i could have...i need to stop this crap so i dont disappoint myself...let time play out itself...

So everythin is good right now...if i could just figure out how to balance this relationship with her...my friends...my online gamin...my DVDs...my TV...my comics...my toys...my mountain-bikin...my bloggin...and everythin...is it too early to introduce her around when she gets back? Probably...since i want her all to myself...hell my parents dont even know bout her! And as i speak...her Dad has just found out! (Thank you Caroline for being so sweet...) I cant wait for the next step...


 
2 Funny ads

Ahhhh....the wonders of free speech...all thanks to Kimi...

Wished my country would allow companies to poke fun at their own competition in light-hearted ads like these...

Wednesday, September 29

 
I need to FUCK...now!

It's just one of those days when you get this huge urge to make sweet passionate love...no wait...make it rough-and-tumble sex in the woods to the woman you are so fondly and madly in love with...not seein her for almost 3 months now just compounds matters...i miss my girlfriend so much...my emotional...psychological...and physical well being's takin it's toll...

Last night i had this dream of directin a porn flick...God knows why...but when i woke up this mornin i had this amazing erection that wouldnt sit down...i realised it was more than just a mornin erection...it was so much more...i needed to be loved...and a good fuck...god my loins are achin now just thinkin of my girlfriend and i rompin in bed...all i lacked was some nocturnal emissions...but fuck im no longer 17-years-old lol...

I sit here in the office with my pants bulgin at the seams...the erection has gone down somewhat...but you men know the feelin...the need to masturbate and release all that fuckin tension...im havin that right now...i dont know how long more i can tolerate this 'lonely' feelin...my desire to want...hold and ravish my girlfriend is overwhelmingly takin over my daily activities...they say a Long Distance Relationship is hard...i can take that...but wtf is one to do bout the physical aspect? Someone advice me please...there's only so much porn i can watch...

 
adrock2xander is evil

I am 58% evil.




I'm getting there. I haven't done all the damage I could do but I've done quite a bit. I'm just over the border into the Evil Zone.



Are you evil? find out at Hilowitz.com


I thought it'd be interestin if i displayed my answers...arrivin at 57%'s no mean feat...ladies and gentlemen...in all my glorified evilness:

1) Do you often sleep more than 9 hours a night? No
2) Do you own an SUV? No
3) Do you speed while driving? No
4) Do you cut people off? No
5) Have you ever lied? Yes
6) ...To your family? Yes
7) Do you curse (swear, cuss, etc)? Yes
8) ...a lot? Yes
9) Have you ever cheated on a test? Yes
10) Have you ever skipped class? Yes
11) Have you ever called in sick just to get the day off? Yes
12) Do you drink? Yes
13) Do you smoke? Yes
14) Are you under age for either? No
15) Ever driven drunk? No
16) Ever tried an illegal drug? Yes
17) ...multiple illegal drugs? No
18) Do you use drugs habitually? No
19) Ever sold drugs to others? No
20) ...to kids? No
21) Have you ever shoplifted? Yes
22) Have you shoplifted more than once? Yes
23) Have you ever stolen from your friends or family? Yes
24) Have you ever cheated anyone out of money? Yes
25) Have you ever sold someone something for more than it was worth? Yes
26) Were they friend or family? Yes
27) Have you ever cheated on your signifigant other? Yes
28) Did you feel sorry afterwards (if 27 was no choose if you would have if it was yes)? Yes
29) Have you ever dumped your signifigant other for someone else? No
30) Have you ever killed an animal? Yes
31) ...on purpose? Yes
32) Are you a virgin? No
33) Do you consider yourself kinky? Yes
34) Do others consider you kinky? Yes
35) Have you ever looked up porn on the internet? Yes
36) Have you ever possessed pornographic material? Yes
37) Do you masturbate? Yes
38) Have you ever slept with someone just to get something in return? No
39) ...for money? No
40) Have you ever posed for nude photos? No
41) Have you ever had a one night stand? Yes
42) Multiple one night stands? No
43) Do you ever think about committing murder? Yes
44) Have you ever downloaded illegal software (warez, Divx, mp3)? Yes
45) Have you ever cursed in church? Yes

I'll be free to entertain any of your questions/queries as to how/why/when...:O



Monday, September 27

 
Lag

This is simply ridiculous...my image hosting site Photobucket been laggin like a lame duck for 2 whole days now...it's affectin the frequency of my posts...and now my pictures wont display right when my blog is viewed...

FFS...get with the program already...

 
Band-aid

Nelly
Im sure many of you have noticed this...but never really bothered to think...but seriously...WTF is up with that stupid band-aid under rapper Nelly's left eye? The sore eye's in every fuckin video Nelly has appeared in...it's the black sheep in a flock of whites...is Nelly tryin to create some fashionista statement? Forgive me...but that band-aid looks just like a lame attempt to cover up a nick Nelly had while shavin in the mornin...i mean...wtf...this guy earns millions of dollars...cant he get one of his assistants to buy him a good razor??

Maybe the Band-aid's used to patch up a gun shot wound...you know how niggers are always shootin one another...perhaps that Band-aid has some magical healin powers...his best nigger mate gets shot in the chest...and Nelly doesnt want his mate to do a 50 Cent (If you dont know 50 Cent's past you dont deserve to read my blog)...adheres it to his nigger's chest...and voila...good as new...

Perhaps it's a funky new nicotine patch that noone knows about...i mean...niggers are always tryin to be cool...so i guess smokin's right up their alley no? But a big rap star like Nelly cant be seen smokin cigars...it's bad influence for his fans...so he sticks that ugly plastic on...gettin his daily nicotine fix...

Sartorially challenged? I think so...


Sunday, September 26

 
adrock2xander's Top 10 Most Beautiful Women - Part 2

Hello again...this is the second instalment of my 10-part take on internationally known women i find physically attractive...for the benefit of all those who've not read Part 1...she is:

1) Amber Brkich

Let's move on...

2) Katie Holmes

Famous for: Star of the hit WB series Dawson's Creek
Face: 7.5/10
Body: 8/10
Fame: 8/10






Young males never looked at their neighbors the same way again when Dawson's Creek premiered in 1998...Katie Holmes's performance as the innocent and beautiful Joey Potter changed the way the-girl-next-door are portrayed...once a character no girls would ever want to play...now everyone wants to live the dream of being in the fantasy of every hot-blooded male's neighbor...

There's just somethin bout Katie that made me totally glued to the google-box...if it's not her luscious brown hair billowin in the wind while standin outside Dawson's home...it's her killer smile and mesmerisin naivete...noone seems to be able to carry off that 'Hey i look innocent and virginal...but hey guess what i'm not' persona better than her...and those cute cheeks that glow with radiance when she flashes her pearly whites...gosh...excuse me while i relieve myself in the bathroom...

You simply have to hand it to someone who turned down the offer to play Buffy Summers in Buffy the Vampire Slayer...and still came good as a stand alone actress...cute and innocent has never been so sexy...

Friday, September 24

 
Im a hippie

A myriad of Personality Tests out there...but this is just bout the most accurate out there...that's it...im givin up everythin i know now and headin to Goa...get your personality test here.

Wackiness: 40/100
Rationality: 34/100
Constructiveness: 56/100
Leadership: 52/100

You are a SECF--Sober Emotional Constructive Follower. This makes you a Hippie.

You are passionate about your causes and steadfast in your commitments. Once you've made up your mind, no one can convince you otherwise. Your politics are left-leaning, and your lifestyle choices decidedly temperate and chaste.

You do tremendous work when focused, but usually you operate somewhat distracted. You blow hot and cold, and while you normally endeavor on the side of goodness and truth, you have a massive mean streak which is not to be taken lightly. You don't get mad, you get even.


Of the 29697 people who have taken this quiz since tracking began (8/17/2004), 10.8 % are this type.

 
Spanish

I had a mate of mine makin a very very interestin comment recently...she was asking why i'd gone through the effort of learnin Spanish...i kinda gave some answer of some variety...didnt really gave anythin concrete...but...somethin she said made me realize that maybe the reason im so interested in languages is that im tryin to find some way to be heard and understood.

She also made a comment about someone who said that artists are all actually seekin a way to be heard...and that resonated with me...made me think of my creativity of the past...i miss those days when what i did was appreciated...people knew i was good at it...and looked up to me...

To me...all this points at the idea that im intensely in need of being "heard" in some way...

*sighs* Just another unslakable desire...life can be unsatisfyin...

Tuesday, September 21

 
Book



I'd stumbled across this book with an awesome title...i hope the contents are just as awesome...


 
Emmy's 2004...LOL?

Television fans around the world woke up from their lengthy slumber to tune in to this year's Emmy Awards...and I didnt disappoint myself when i found myself goin to work instead of takin a day off from it...gosh some television i am LOL...

Sometimes i do ask myself why the hell do i bother watchin the Emmy's...it's such a fuckin load of hog-wash...just as i dont care how you can blindfold a g00k with a thread...i dont fuckin give a hoot how the Emmys have historically preferred endearin dramas that rake in the cash and are popular to boot...i look at the nominees...laugh and get back to whatever i was doin...the nominees are no longer excitin...where's the freshness?

All i smell is stale fish...i find myself groanin at the choice of nominees half the time...Academy members must be paid to go against the grain...they're a creature of habit...each year viewers are treated to the usual plethora of 'same-old same old' actors/actresses/series...if i must force myself to watch another James Gandolfini/Allison Janney/The Practice farce of a nomination i'd develop a clogged artery...

Then again...'stalwarts' like James, Allison and The Practice just doesnt seem to wana go away...these dog-eared creeps just take the shine and honor from more deservin nominees...i mean...for fuck's sakes...James has won like 3 Best Actors? Allison 2 Best Supportin Actresses and The Practice like 1,230,293 Best Drama? We really dont care anymore if they win again!!

Why cant those blasted Academy old farts pry their fuckin eyes open and clean those wax out of their ears and see/listen what's the REAL deal out there? For starters...




1) The Gilmore Girls and Lauren Graham
The dramedy depicts the lives of a wonderful single mother-and-daughter team and their friends in the whimsical town of Star Hollows drew lots of acclaim from critics and pundits alike...yet curiously was panned by the Academy...The Gilmore Girls was one of the more enjoyable 7th Heaventh-like drama i enjoyed...the humor was sharp and fast...the romance sweet...and the relationship between the 2 spoke so much that it even revolutionized the way a single mother should bring her child up...

Lauren Graham is unfortunate to be passed up on an Emmy nomination again...i feel that categorizing The Gilmore Girls into the Best Comedy award puts Lauren up against the a lot of heavyweights (read: the 4 women from Sex and the City, the 2 women from Everybody Loves Raymond, the 3 women from Friends, 1 woman from Will & Grace, 1 woman from Malcolm in the Middle, and im just mentionin the bigwigs.)...her performance as a sufferin single mother with a wit to match is the stuff made fit for Best Drama...in any case...my heart goes out to Lauren...




2) Scrubs
Another dramedy portrayin the misadventures of 3 interns in a mildly psychotic Sacred Hearts hospital...the dark humor...insane and ridiculous situations they get themselves into...serves as an insightful peek into the stressful life in the hospital...always charmingly funny...Scrubs simply had me crackin up...




3) Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Sarah Michelle Gellar
Need i say more? All my friends would know what a huge fan i am of the WB (and until it's recent demise...UPN) series...laugh or not...im still supremely dissappointed at the way the Academy dismissed BtVS as a kiddy show with an even kiddier moniker to boot...with only 2 pathetic 'scientific' Emmys to show for...BtVS...at its peak in early 2000...towered over every other drama in primetime in writin, directin and actin...

No other show in the world has inspired readers...writers and professors alike to explore the philosophical nature of Buffy and how it parallels real life...forcin students to study BtVS due to its deep academia...explorin sexism and feminity...pushin the envelope in its support for gay relationships...strangely adult humor...exposure to the often misunderstood religion of Wicca...extravagant exploration of adolescent and post-adolescent traumas that makes grown men cry...gosh i could go and on...waxin lyrical on how NOT FUNNY it is when ppl degenerate into the fuckin bigots they are and point out how ridiculous it is to have attractive teens drivin a stake through vampires' hearts...

The Academy crew needs to be fuckin fired...taken out to the hills...blindfolded and shot in cold-blood...FUCKIN WHORES also need to learn to read...if ABC, NBC, CBS and HBO are the only letters they can remember...what chance would UPN and WB have against those imcumbents??

Sarah's repeated passin over as a nominee is a fuckin travesty...her multi-dimensional and soulful take on a character that she practically wore for 7 whole seasons could have taken on any other nominees of the same category combined...provided she was nominated by the blind Academy members that is...

When i grow old and am bout to die...i'll say a 'lil prayer to the Old Man up there...and tell him to bless SMG...whatever she does in her next life deserves a fuckin nomination for a major category...and oh yeah to send all those Academy members to a flamin Hell...



4) Angel
If BtVS was the face and vibrant personality of creator Joss Whedon's world...then Angel is the heart and soul of it...if i get heckles and ridicule from people just by tellin them how much i love BtVS...i get clueless wide-eyed expressions or the "Oh-Ive-Heard-Of-It-But-Never-Watched-It" smirk...oh sheesh the things ya missin out on...
Always a darker and more noir version of BtVS...Angel alienated a lot of BtVS fans in the first season...indeed i found myself strugglin to come to terms with it...BtVS's world was...though never happy...light and campy...whereas Angel was cloudy and more adult...i found myself sufferin from 'BtVS humor' withdrawal symptoms early on...but persevered...afterall...how can one consider himself a true Joss Whedon fan if he doesnt gravitate to BtVS's spin off?

The protaganist of the show...Angel...had left Sunnydale (the ficititious world of BtVS) at the end of the 3rd season to forget Buffy...endin up in Los Angeles...only to find more trouble...worries...and friends...some from the BtVS alumni...

By the end of the season...and seasons thereafter...Angel had grown on me...what makes Angel believable is the downright honest themes of Good vs Evil...however fanciful the story arc is...the viewers are never coddled and mollified into believin whatever they see is plain old gibberish...the battle of Good vs Evil takes on gargantuan proportions...the very mature and adult themed violence, sexual themes and graphic images that put even Discovery Channel to shame made for several years of scary and suspenseful drama...numerous crossovers from BtVS world just spiced things up...

Indeed Angel has had more respect within the television fraternity...winnin many accolades for excellent technical writin...which is a huge shame when compared with BtVS...im not sayin BtVS's writin is better...but...again...i believe BtVS is only constantly passed over coz it sounds really stupid...



5) The Shield
Yes...The Shield has been nominated in major categories in recent years...but to my dismay it was passed up for some spiffy men in a White House/bald man in a gangster drama or more spiffy men in a law firm this year...Michael Chiklis thoroughly deserved his nomination and win for his portrayal of Vic Mackay...a volatile self-styled maverick of a cop who heads the Strike Team to rid of crime in a scum-infested district of Los Angeles...Vic runs things his own way...constantly at loggerheads with the authorities...bendin authority at his own will...findin it hard to draw a thin red line between right and wrong...

The Shield makes no attempt to disguise itself as a shockin and darin drama...indeed...if there was one word to describe creator Shawn Ryan's world...it's violence...pushin the limits of viewer's prime time diet on a weekly basis...The Shield is teemin with gang-bangers...perverts...rapists and killers...for a seasoned TV viewer like me...i found myself flinchin at plots involvin child pornography...serial murders...gangland warfare...homicide...kidnappings and controversial police tactics...

For all it's worth...The Shield probably would have gotten another major nomination had it not being so violent...yes it's the best cop drama out there. Period. (Are you listenin NYPD Blue and Law & Order?)



6) The Simpsons
No...an emphatic NO to Academy members who think The Simpsons deserve a place in Best Animation...for cryin out loud...the funniest comedy
for years deserve a rightful place in Best Comedy.

If somehow by a miracle...one of those Academy members are still alive after being shot dead for not nominatin BtVS...i'll gladly haul him up from his tomb-to-be and slap him silly..."Dude WTF are you smokin? Or are you just dumb?"

I dont wish to go into too much detail bout The Simpsons. If you've been under a rock for the last 10-odd years...then you simply dont deserve to live.

Ridiculously funny and at times disturbingly realistic in its portrayal of the American pop culture and lifestyle...i find myself amazed at the animators' and writers' ability to concoct amazin humor and heart...the dysfunctional and depraved family will always be right up there on my 'To Laugh Along With' comedies...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My brain's hurtin from all the hurt the myopic Academy members are causin me...i believe there're several more series that i wish to write about...there's the hit series Nip/Tuck (which i wrote about several months back) and the amusin Monk (which i also wrote about)...

TVs are a great source of entertainment for me...ive learnt so much from it...my thinkin and idealogies have also been moulded with the increasingly rich disposal of excellent dramas out in the market...but as long as good dramas are not duly rewarded with the accolades they deserve...the Emmys (and probably the Grammys and Oscars too...wait on my thoughts on that next year) will never be my benchmark for TV excellence...

Sunday, September 19

 
More Buffydom - Part 2

There's finally more detail on the eagerly awaited Buffy Season 1-7 Collector's Set...there're only 10,000 sets produced...FFS if im not gettin this im gay...

 
Doom 1 & 2 - 1991-1994, Doom 3 - 2004

Gaming fans would recognise this ugly incarnation...that's an imp from our favorite First Person Shooter (FPS) back in the early 90s...i'll always remember fondly of those days spent till 5am tryin to figure out how to proceed to the next level before headin to school all bleary eyed at 7am...the shocks i'd get in the middle of the night and the intensity of the see, shoot and kill approach made it all worth it...

Light years ahead of its competition back then...Doom 1 and 2 revolutionized the FPS genre...it's no secret that Doom 3 is already out in the market...claimin to be the scariest and most realistic FPS ever does take some balls...but is there any doubt bout it at all?

Speakin of Doom 3...do check out this hilarious video...judgin from these kids' reactions...Doom 3 is either the scariest game ever or practicin to make the cut in the next horror/slasher flick where they're the victims...

P.S: Please let me know if the link to the video doesnt work...many sites that i looked up seemed to have removed their individual links to the video due to bandwidth problems...

 
adrock2xander's Top 10 Most Beautiful Women - Part 1

Today ive decided to start a discussion on women...attractive women that is...ive decided to choose and rank my favorite Top 10 women based on physical attractiveness...this is the first of 10 posts...

Now when i say Top 10 women...i say Top 10 women who're known internationally (Hollywood/Miss Universe/Miss World/Music industry)...true...i would love to include the hot chick who gives me my daily dose of erection at the local convenience store...but noone'ld know who she is...and hence...a rankin wouldnt be too just...and so it goes...

1) Amber Brkich

Famous for: Reachin the last 5 of Survivor Australia Outback by not contributin to the team's cause/ridin her teammate's coat tails...winnin and findin love in Survivor All-Stars...
Face: 8.5/10
Body: 8/10
Fame: 7/10







Im a sucker for cute girls...Amber Brkich (pronounced Ber-Kich) is just that...Amber didnt just 'Outwit, Outplay and Outlast' her opponents...she 'Outbabed' them all...you've gota give a cookie to a girl who turned down Playboy and posed in Stuff Magazine instead...what I like most bout Amber is that...she has this beauty which is real...believable and attainable...a wonderful body helps too...and i simply love her smile...chestnut hair and those perky breasts that you just wana cup your hands on and suck them dry...Amber's like the girl next door that drives your loins crazy but there's nothin you can do about it coz she's too busy workin after classes to help her family's financial problems...

Amber has a face and personality that screams "I care"...you can so picture Amber workin for a charitable cause...her American apple-pie and innocent 'fresh out of university' look would sell just about anythin...you can bet your last dollar that whatever she's championin for...she'll have a legion of male fans fightin tooth and nail to work with her...i know i will :O



 
Blogshares

Somewhere in the beginnin of April i'd stumbled upon the hugely addictive BlogShares.com...what Blogshares does is sell the phenomenom that is a blog...a fantasy stock market where weblogs are the companies...'Players' (in this case...people with a blog) invest fictional dollars on shares in blogs...the blogs are valued by their incomin links and add value to other blogs by linkin to them...prices can go up or down based on trading and the underlyin value of the blog.

I'd spent a week or two playin around with it...tryin to understand how to add more 'value' to my blog...but somehow life's ills can distract you...and soon enough i found myself forgettin bout it...until an hour ago...i noticed a Blogshares.com link on my 'Referrin Web Pages'...someone had visited my site through Blogshares.com...i wondered if my site had faded into obscurity...or had it been the little hamster it has been...tryin to keep up in this monstrous Bloggin community...

Turns out...the value of my blog has gone up by over $1000 since i signed it up...wow...I cant understand how my angry blog that's strewn with pop culture lingo...profanities...lewd pictures...people and organization bashin could possibly go up in value...im glad people enjoy readin it...

Whoever that person was...he's piqued my interest on the valuation of a blog again...i thank you...

 
The case of the missing terrapin



I left my 2 terrapins out to feed in a lil pail in the balcony...

Overnight one of the terrapins went mysteriously missing...

Poor T1 is now all alone...im quite perplexed...

It couldnt possibly have climbed out of the pail all alone...my best argument's gona sound so far fetched...but could it possibly happen?? A huge bird swooped into the balcony and fancied T2...picked it up with its beak and had it for breakfast...

*shudders*

 
Layout

Gavin has applied his Advertisin skills to good use...casually told me my blog's too cluttered...every bloody picture's screamin for attention...so i've done away with most of the pictures on the side bar...and pasted a blogroll...

On a side note...if anyone of you is lookin for a photographer in Melbourne, Australia please look him up...he's got his eyes set on being the 'Next Big Thing'...

Im workin on somethin big now...hope to finish it by tonight :O

P.S: FFS Gavin...please update ya blog...or at least post written words...pictures cant possibly be ya sole sellin point...

Saturday, September 18

 
More Buffydom



Gosh...im so buyin this...amazingly enough...for the huge fan i am of the series...i dont have the series on DVD...sacrilegious...

 
adrock2xander fights back



I was branded a SPG this week.

For those not in the know...SPG is a local canonical slang for Sarong Party Girl...a golddigger in the West: a woman who purposely hunts for older...wealthier Western men to extract the maximum amount of cash and other goodies possible...should a better prospect appear...she'll drop her current beau at the drop of a hat and attach herself to the next victim. A SPG is a also a more then friendly Singapore girl who likes to date Caucasians as she is more outgoing in terms of sexual adventures and less stuck in her cultural issues.

Since im a guy...i suppose im a Sarong Party Guy...amusement turned to annoyance and insult...as i sat back and thought about it...those SPGs try their darndest to get those Caucasian men to like them...hell...im not even tryin...ive had so many Caucasian women gettin along just find and dandy with me...only coz my personality and worldliness is instantly attractive to them...i dont have to stoop to a 1st Grader and get involved in some playground fisticuffs...

The SPGs only have a small tuft to play with...gettin all dolled up in sexy clothes can only can them so far...afterall most of them are totally incapacitated...startin and maintainin an interestin conversation's totally out of their league...

I say again...you folks are only jealous of my success with Caucasians...dont blame me coz you arent confident enough...feel a certain inferiority complex...arent able to spean proper English...or refuse to get to know the Caucasian coz the only people you've known your whole life are slit-eyes...round noses...and flat chested women...i'll choose who i'll hang out with...i'll choose what kind of skin colored women i date...and i'll definitely not care 2 fuckin hoots bout what you people think...

Please...STFU...




Tuesday, September 14

 
Digital Camera

Im lookin around for a brand new digital camera...budget's bout S$500...anyone's got any good recommendations?

 
adrock2xander's Theory on Homosexuals

I believe ive found the reason why men and women date someone of the same sex...

Has anyone spent time trollin on singles sites? It's pretty darn hilarious...you enter your profile...or...the profile you want your desired sex to think you are...and wait for their replies...

I gotta tell ya though...combin through profiles of women in a singles site is just bout the most frustratin and fruitless attempt at securin a date...the alarmin frequency certain 'themes' keep appearin is really appallin...it makes you wonder what these women are really lookin for...or are they sellin themselves??

1) 'I go to the gym every week'

2) 'I have a zest for life! / believe in getting the most out of life! / believe in living every moment its fullest! / believe that everything happens for a reason!' etc.

3) 'My number one passion is travel'

Are these women all robots churned out from a factory? Seemingly similar women with predictable requests...whatever happened to women with brains??? Isnt that what's a good relationship's all about?? Someone please pull the plug on the conveyor belt...

Where're all the women who dont give a crap about the gym?...where're the neurotics?...where're the ladies who'd rather be watchin a movie or skulkin in the shadows?...where's the thoughtfulness?...where's the absurdity?...where's the desire to laugh maniacally?...where's the disdain for dizzy wholesomeness?...where're the chicks whose number one priority is not moving from the chunk of planet they're standing on at any particular time to a different chunk?

At the rate we men are being expected to grow fond of what women want us to like...i can see a decline in the number of heterosexual relationships...these women are just freaky...

It's no wonder why men and women turn to someone of the same gender for sex and comfort...

Monday, September 13

 
Toy

New 12" Buffy toy...OMFG it's Faith...i so want it...



Huge fan of Eliza Dushku aside...im appalled at my hesitation to buy it...gosh it's fuckin $98...



So if i cant have it...i'll just take a picture with it...



But but...i so want it...

So near...yet so far...


 
The Blondey Strikes Again

It's a day late...but Blonde-Depreciation Day's still gonna proceed...so...our favorite neighborhood Blonde Girl decided to hang up her Superhero costume (ok i really have been readin too much Spiderman) for the day...and take the trail less travelled...and decided the spartan and oh-so-unglamorous beaches of Sentosa island will entertain her on a tepid Sunday....

So...rather unwillingly...i had to haul my FLAWLESS ass just to amuse a woman who chooses her companion whenever and wherever she fancies...ive heard horror stories of men who had their entire families thrown alive into the lion's lair for dis-obeyin her...my life is destined for stardom...so i shall not jeopardise my impendin fame...i still shudder at the thought though...so off i went...

It's really not cool to walk with Stefa these days...people seem to stare at us all day everyday...i get all uneasy...i dont know WTF people are starin at...so...a g00k cant hang out with a Blonde?? I guess they must be pleasantly surprised the Blonde even wants to hang out with one...oh wait...im not just any g00k...this g00k speaks perfect English...sorry you loser g00ks out there...but get in the line...




Tannin on the beach can be a real chore...i mean...it's bad enough when everyone keeps starin at the both of you...but when people start assumin that we're DATING each other...you know everyone's been smokin somethin that you arent...im determined to find out what that is...




Several minutes of soul searchin later...i finally found the answer...some good old grub at the SEVERELY OVERPRICED BEACH CAFE (omfg $3.50 for a fuckin hotdog wtf gg no re)...though...the Long Island Iced Tea was a huge savin grace...




Takin my eyes off the general scheme of things...i realised how beautiful the clouds were...Stefa and i had this incredibly silly argument bout who's more beautiful...the cloud or her...jesus christ...the Blonde's livin up to her name...




So...all in all...a dull Sunday spent with an even duller companion...God knows what he's planned for me this week...

 
A Blur

I cant believe everythin happenin's so quickly...zippin past me like a blur...my past 5 years have been so full of ironies and coincidences...surely i dont deserve all this...

Saturday, September 11

 
Tee

I went out today in a fuchsia tee that screamed: I DID PARIS IN TWENTY MINUTES...you should've seen the weird looks/funny chuckles/amused recognition i got from the crowd...so it got me thinkin...what if i have worn a tee that had 'FUCK EVERYONE' emblazoned on it...the abuse i'll get...wow lol...

I wondered if i could buy such a t-shirt from some commercial source...i mean obviously anyone could make one in five seconds with a permanent marker...but i was just wonderin if someone had bothered to produce one as a commercial product...i went online...and Googled 'FUCK EVERYONE' tee...and rather unfortunately...nobody is sellin such a shirt.

Friday, September 10

 
Flea market

So...is anyone lookin for spare bike components? Im currently sellin them....

 
MTB

I'd just purchased a couple of professional racing components for my bike...it's a gradual process of upgradin...beginnin from the fork and suspensions several months back...to the grips and tires just recently...and the brakin systems & gears just an hour ago...i wouldnt say it's the cheapest hobby around...i mean...to date my bike has set me back by about $1600...high end MTBs (that's mountain bikes) can easily fetch an astronomical $10,000...bike boutiques have sprung up over the years...and though the competition is keen...there'll always be a market for the owners to earn enough...MTBs...imho...are the next big thing to hit Xtreme Sports in Singapore...i see more and more people pickin it up...for its ease of use...for gettin to a destination at almost no cost...or even for a healthy lifestyle...

I do it for all 3 reasons...the bike'll be fixed up perhaps...over the weekend or Monday night...as it is i havnt gotten the parts yet...im bubblin with excitement...cant wait to see how much lighter the bike would be with the new parts...

 
Stupid blogs...

Wow...a complete waste of blog space makes it to the "Blogs of Note"...how on earth did that make it at all? My blog > stupid waste of space blogs...

No prizes for guessin which country the blog's from...

So...i guess the only way to get on "Blogs of Note" is to change it to an American angle? LOL...puh-leez...

 


I didnt show up for work yesterday mornin...for those in the know...i dont think i'd need to explain myself...for the benefit of those still stuck in La-La Land...somethin happened the night before...suffice to say...this picture shall be the only evidence...

Thank you Raymi...

Ahhh...the wonders of push-picture Bloggin power...

 
Jennifer Hawkins returns



This is old news...but i thought it was worth a mention...beautiful Miss Universe 2004 granted our eyes the worst fashion faux pas ever to grace the catwalk this year...guest starrin in her homeland for a promotional event last week...she clipped her stilettoes against her rather flimsy dress...and revealed far more than what she intended when her skirt fell off...a not too impressive ass aside...i kinda dug her funky G...ooh...blondes in Gs...*delirious with delight*

I gota admit...i was kinda appalled with her ass...cmon...ive seen more smokin asses than hers...

Then again...i did marry her...so who's complainin? :)

Wednesday, September 8

 
Inspire me God

This is a 'lil inspirational verse that hangs on at the top of my wardrobe...i live by it everyday...for it brings me the courage and strength to live each day at its best...for i know what it's like to live in fear...God bless me...i would never want to see anyone i love experience the traumatic teenage life i led...those cursed 5 years that i wasted...i wished i could turn back time...undo what ive done...

Heaven help me for the way I am
Save me from the evil deed
Before I get them done
I know tomorrow brings the consequences at hand
But I keep living this day
Like the next will never come


Wishes do come true...a wish i made 8 years ago reared its beautiful head today...it came at the most unpleasant times...or rather...opportune moment...i dont know where my heart lies now...my emotions and feelings are a twisted viscera that's killin my every thought...

God! Why do you have to torture me! Why? Please give me an answer to my world-weariness! No more illicit sex...perversion...promiscuity...idolatry...drug use...hatred...rivalry...angry outbursts...selfish ambition...conflict...factions...envy...drunkenness...wild partying and similar things...show me the light...show me the way!

Please...

Tuesday, September 7

 
Wow

Amazing...in less than 24 hours...Blogger.com has removed Brittany's blog from 'Blogs of Note' after readin the verbal outburst i posted just yesterday (see below)...

I guess they're serious bout my thoughts on how fuckin biased they are...(LOL)...or perhaps Brittany just got too serious for their own likin...i mean...removin your comments section just coz ppl were sendin you suggestive and hate mail? CMON!! If i were you...i'd be baskin in fuckin glory! Dust those red carpets already! Here comes the moment ive been waitin for...FAME and RECOGNITION!

Monday, September 6

 
Blogger.com please STFU GG NO RE K THNX

So Blogger.com has a new blog under 'Blog of Note'...i got a 'lil excited when i realised it has an un-American landscape...until it hit me...it's a fuckin American writin bout her escapade in The Land of the Risin Sun...BALDERDASH! A leopard will never change its spots! An American will never try to be not everywhere!

Sunday, September 5

 
Facin the Subordinate Courts...

sits a reputable Chinese doctor...my ankle hasnt recovered after 3 weeks...my mobility and mood's affected...so i decided to head on down to this quaint 'lil shop run by the Chinese Bitch Master of Pain to get my ankle sorted out...i gota tell ya...you aint seen Holy Water till you visit this bloke...

So here's the dodgy shop...some free publicity's not gonna hurt yeah?




Waitin for my turn takes a 'lil while...i had problems keepin my eyes open...no point tryin to converse with the folks next to me...they didnt look like they could speak any English...




Look...it's been 3 weeks...and my ankle's still as puffy as ever...




The secret to this Chinese Bitch Master of Pain's success is his Holy Water...twisted ya leg? Have some Holy Water...sprained ya ligaments? Have some Holy Water...the water came boilin hot...i had to prop my feet up against 2 pieces of bamboo...the steam from the Holy Water has some...eh...therapeutic juice in it...




The patient has to trap the steam for best results...a plastic sheet' used for that...



Did i mention this bloke gives good service too? After the steam bath...i had my feet washed...cleaned and wrapped up in some foul smellin herb for free...eeesh...being a payin customer does have its perks...



Gettin ya feet treated and wrapped: $18
Pain experienced when he prods the bruised area: Unbearable
Havin ya feet washed and cleaned while seated: Priceless


 
Boobies!

This is a thread on breasts.

Yes...the breasts all straight men have come to grow very fond of the moment we turn 12...the breasts we all stare at perpetually when we encounter women...the breasts women become fixated with at the lack of/excess of...the reason why women spend $80 for some wire and cotton...a body part that's whipped up enough controversy over the over-exposure of and feedin a baby with...mmmm i believe everyone knows what breasts are...

You cant see advertisin...television...videos...music or magazines without being overexposed to breasts...yet...believe it or not...within the last decade..the average bra size for Asian women has increased from 32B to 34B...WTF??? Im not complainin bout small boobs here...geeez ive always thought that chicks with boobs i could just cup nicely in my hands were just bout right...but 34B is the average???? No fuckin way...



Hormonal effects of birth control pills and a large diet not withstandin...I have several grievances bout the women's mammaries...ok so I know it’s hot in Singapore all year round...so why in God's name do petite and small Asian women with mounds of flesh flat enough for a plane to take off still bother wearin bras? The added piece of clothin not just adds to the heat buildup in the torso area...but like a Muslim extremists blowin himself up with a bomb adhered to him...how uncomfortable it is to have somethin strapped onto you...why cant women just go topless??

I know men out there enjoy the boobies...i mean...what a sight...naturally nice boobs always fit well into any tee shirt...and the nipples stickin out...like some 'lil peephole...hell I find myself sometimes having boob envy...i wished i had boobs! No parts of a body's anatomy been more dissected...scrutinised and analysed than breasts...imagine if i had breasts! More people would notice me! But i digress...

Growin up in 'Flat-Land'...i have seen way more boobs that should be happily exposed for the world to see...i dont know why Asian women even bother wearin that sorry excuse of an arm sling...i think...in my whole lifetime...i can count...with both hands...the number of Chinese women ive seen with breasts bigger than my fists...God...conservative society or not...dont these women have enough decency to shower good ol' TLC on the most desired (well...second most desired LOL) part of their body? As if wearin a bra wasnt detrimental and a potential life hazard to their health already...havent they heard of the Pencil Test???

At the risk of soundin too knowledgeable...let me expound the Pencil Test in plain simple English...

A simple way to determine if you need a bra
Step 1: Stand upright and topless in front of a mirror with your shoulders back in a proper posture position
Step 2: Take a pencil and slide it under the crease of your boob.
Step 3: If the pencil stays in place under your boob...you've passed the Pencil Test...if not...you've failed so please go bra-less already!

I do not have to mention again how uncomfortable bras are...and Singapore's summer conditions takes out all the fun in wearin one altogether...but please...if you have failed the Pencil Test...dont make me stand in the corner with a bullhorn to tell you to go braless...small breasted women around the world should declare a day as 'Let's Go Bra-less Day'...yeah they should...

Then we have the women who breastfeed in public...so...what gives managements in public buildings and people out havin a good time the rights to tell off a lovin mother who's feedin her hungry baby? Even in 'fag-land of a Government' Singapore...rules on breastfeedin have been relaxed over the last 2 years...facilitatin the mother and child bondin aside...people need to know that the the naturally produced milk offers unique benefits that normal milk cannot provide...

But of course...not all mothers breastfeed...some mothers cant breastfeed due to medical reasons...some cant afford to take time off from work...but mostly...i believe it's the social attitudes towards breastfeedin in public that's scarin the women back into the house...



Why are some people...no wait...most people so hostile to public breasfeedin? So what's wrong with feedin your baby? Im just grateful that they're FEEDING their young and not EATING their young (LOL...)I cant have seen more than 5 women in my lifetime doin a God given rights...but each time i would smile at the mom...quietly happy for the mom who's brave enough to stand up to this world that spells hyprocrisy with the capital H...



I guess women's breasts are somehow...viewed presumptively...as sexual in Caucasian countries...and perhaps...taboo and dirty in Third World and lesser countries...a movie with frontal nudity would warrant an 'Above 18' certification...but walk around the streets and you see sex shops with crude images of women that leaves nothin to the imagination callin out for male customers...

Janet Jackson's now infamous performance aside...i think far too many women are uncomfortable at the thought of nursin their baby in public and this discomfort stems from the 'indecency' to bear one's breast in a sexual way...

I dont get it...to breastfeed is the purest and most beautiful act to show how much you care and love your hungry baby...yet the presence of other people with the mother...regardless those people are strangers or people she knows would invite heckles and loud disapprovals...geez...if forcin a mom to choose between stayin home and givin up her social life at the expense of givin up on breastfeedin is the only option for most close-minded Earthlings...i daresay...let's all censor the word/visual/images/thoughts 'breasts'...now wouldnt that have far greater implications on the decision to expose one's nipples for entertainment...or to feed a growin child?

Friday, September 3

 
Team FragDoll



Interestin blog that's worth a visit...this is Team FragDoll...a 7-girl outift that's kickin others teams in the PAX (Penny Arcade Convention)...they chronicle their exploits and daily ongoings...very cool...

Ive never liked the idea of promotin other sites...it's the author's responsibility to make his/her site attractive enough to render subsequent visits...but this is a one-off...im a great fan of online gamin myself...and watchin chicks beatin the crap out of ego-strokin males beats the hell out of most things in life :)

 
Stalin vs <--insert name of incumbent political party in Singapore-->

Joseph Stalin once said:

"One death is a tragedy. One million deaths is a statistic."

I suppose <--insert name of incumbent political party in Singapore--> could say:

"One lie is a tragedy. Lying for 40 years is a statistic."


 
Pajama party



I stumbled upon this picture...for once...i wished i was a woman...show of hands who wants to join me??

 
Cycling Killed The Radio Star

So here i am...all decked up in protective gear...the protaganist of a safety video clip for the Singapore Traffic Police...God ive never looked more stupid...i mean...am i cycling for my life or what? Sheeshh...i could go fight a war and come out unscathed...what with all the knee and elbow guards...the reflective gear attached on my wheel and frame...bah!

Turns out the video clip will make its maiden voyage somewhere in the middle of this month...all kids in Elementary, Junior High and High Schools in Singapore will be privy to them...wow...now this isnt exactly the 15-seconds of fame i had...but i'll take it... :)






Thursday, September 2

 
Late Night Show with adrock2xander

This is John Ng Xander reporting LIVE from his office in Clarke Quay...the local time is 8:33pm and the weather conditions are hot and balmy...relative humidity is 89%...

It's fuckin late...i havnt had dinner...and im still in the office...*in Spanish accent*

'Jesus!'

 
Reasons

I find myself sittin...with a portable fan blowin straight at me...on a humid Thrusday mornin...wonderin why i find myself in such a delicate situation...coz as it is...today being 2 September...i hereby declare that John Ng Xander has officially:

1) No TV-time - his days of channel surfin and remote-control hoggin are over.
2) No Blog-time - his days of satirical sallies and wise words are over.
3) No Social Life - his days of club hoppin and breezin past the bouncers are over.
4) No Sex - he COULD have had sex with 2 ladies in the last 6 weeks. But that's over.
5) No Comics - he took 6 months to finish Essential Daredevil Volume 1 and 2. That isnt yet over.
6) No DVD - Queer as Folk Season 3 gathers dust even more quickly than you could say "It's over."
7) No Sleep - he goes to work with the intent of catchin on sleep durin lunch time. That's not gona be over.
8) No Money - he spends half his salary on phone bills and overseas trips. Gona be over?

Thank you so much for makin my life a livin hell micheLe. But thanks to you ive finally realised what love is and all that is worth givin up for.

But really...can i please have at least 2 of them?

 
End of a blind era

I managed to finish Essential Daredevil Volume 2 while takin a dump in the toilet...Christ...it's taken me forever to finish Volume 1 and 2...

Now...time to read the Grand-Daddy of all Marvel-dom...the recently published Essential Spiderman Volume 6...booga!

I wana see how Mary Jane and Peter Parker got together...and if ya wonderin why the title's "End of a blind era"...you aint fit enough to read my blog!

 
OMFG Blogger please STFU GG NO RE

Blogger.com has done it again...and that is...to piss me off severely...

As if teamin up with Google.com and comin up with the crap of a Gmail...they've now decided to remove bSTATS.blogger...

Now how da hell am i suppose to track my loyal readers?

I refuse to use another syndicated program...

Wednesday, September 1

 
White Men CAN Jump

Does anyone remember Jimmy? The Spaniard who jumped and ran across the field in Euro2004 final between Greece and Portugal? Quite a scene he made...total riot..

Jumpers of this sort seem to be increasin in the numbers...i wonder why they do it...as intelligent readers of mine would already know...the jumper who intercepted the the men's marathon (the final competition of the Greece Olympics) and attacked then current leader Brazilian Vanderlei de Lima with the world watchin in horror turns out to be a 57-year-old Irish Priest...LOL...i dont know bout you guys...but that bloke sure caught my imagination...i mean...runnin in red kilt...a beret and high green socks with the intention of attackin the lead runner with the knowledge that hundreds of cameras are on you sure isnt somethin you do everyday!

Attached to his skirt is the star of David and the following words:

"The Grand Prix Priest. Israel Fulfillment of Prophecy Says The Bible. The Second Coming is Near."

I guess the mad man had some religious motivation or propoganda to propel himself to do such a crazy act...then again he's also responsible for disruptin the 2003 British Grand Prix by runnin on to the main Hangar Straight as cars approached at speeds in excess of 240kph...he was sentenced to two months imprisonment...geez does anyone know where his shrink is?

What makes these men jump? Did Jimmy jump to become famous? What kind of fame is he seeking? To invade Hollywood and get an Oscar?

And how bout the Irish Priest...what was he smokin? What made him jump? The Apocalypse? Or some unseen powers dictatin their lifestyle that screams "Headliners"?

Strangely enough...talkin bout jumpin has gotten me all excited...coz i too have my jumpin fantasies...

1) Bungee in every continent of the world.
2) Skydive and wave to the birds.
3) Repel down a steep cliff and inscribe my name on the rock.
4) Storm into <--insert incumbent political party in Singapore-->'s office and burn the Singapore flag...
5) Waylay an attractive woman from behind and commit every foul deed known to medical journals and get away scot free...
6) Ok no. 5) was just freaky...
7) I'll add them when i think of more...

 
Cry

Ok this is gonna sound really stupid...but my eyes always well up with tears whenever i catch the final scene of the Nicholas Cage vehicle Con Air...im sayin this coz i just saw the movie again...i must have seen it like 537,089 times...but good old action movies wont grow old on ya...

You know what scene im talkin bout...Cameron...all sweaty and bleedin...holdin a dirty pink bunny...starin across the street...lookin at his beautiful wife (FFS...Monica Potter looked damn hot in the movie...) and that pretty daughter of his...awwww that scene itself is enough to make me cry...but cue Trisha Yearwood's power ballad 'How Do I Live?' and i simply have to grab a tissue...

I do think...that a big part of that emotional scene has somethin to do with Cameron lookin at his wife...i mean...look at her!! SHE'S SO FUCKIN HOT! Oh wait...did i already mention that??

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